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Thursday, June 19, 2008 1:34 AM EDT

Dart & Laurels

Summer break is within sight, and it comes not a moment too soon. We at the Department of Darts and Laurels have been waiting with baited breath for the chance to recharge our collective batteries with a week of rest and relaxation. However you choose to spend your downtime next week, we hope you will play it safe. With that said, it’s time for the last–of–summer–A edition of …

Darts & Laurels

We knew it must have been some sort of fluke. For two weeks in a row we, the custodians of Darts and Laurels, had nothing impolite to say about our elected officials. We’re still waiting for scientists to get back to us on what profound galactic phenomenon could have precipitated this unlikely happening, but this week’s news from Tallahassee has reminded us why we harbor no astonishment at our leaders’ capacity to place political posturing above prudent policy.


It’s with this in mind that we heave a maybe–you–should–listen–to–more–policy–experts–than–right–wing–talking–heads DART to our flip–flopping, orange–glow Gov. Charlie Crist for his about–face on the issue of offshore drilling. Following the lead of Sen. John McCain and a cadre of empty–headed conservative pundits, Crist has announced a newfound zeal for destroying Florida’s environment and endangering her economic interests. Betraying his resplendent pro–environment persona, Crist has jumped aboard the “drill here, drill now” bandwagon.

Crist, who reiterated as recently as last week his opposition to drilling off Florida’s coast, now claims that the need to find a solution to $4–a–gallon gasoline overrides environmental concerns. Crist also cited a perceived increase in public support for drilling as rationale for his change of heart. While we applaud efforts to lessen the sting of high gas prices, we could not disagree more with the governor on his proposed remedy.

Next, we hurl a belated cutting–Medicaid–funding–is–about–as–smart–as–leaving–Bill–Clinton–unsupervised–at–a–sorority–party DART to Congress and President Bush for reducing the federal funding of Medicaid, the result of which is now being felt here in Alachua County, as public schools have been forced to lay off nurses.

Without the benefit of a federally funded Medicaid grant, Alachua County has had to dismiss more than half of the nurses on staff. Notwithstanding the obvious need for on–site medical professionals at public schools in cases of emergencies or illnesses, studies suggest that there is a correlation between having full–time nurses, and achieving higher FCAT scores and overall grades.

With their inaction, Congress and the president have shown that their priorities are out of balance. As we spend upward of $1 trillion fighting a pointless war in Iraq, American schoolchildren lack proper medical care in their places of learning. This is a disgrace.

We next present an it’s–good–to–be–green LAUREL to UF professor Crawford “Buzz” Holling for winning the prestigious Volvo Environment Prize. Congratulations are certainly in order for professor Holling, who is the second member of UF’s faculty to receive this great honor (In 2006, UF professor Carl Walters won the award.)

Holling, an eminent emeritus professor of Ecological Sciences here at UF, is internationally renown for his resilience theory. We are proud of professor Holling’s accomplishments, and we thank him for setting such a standard of excellence for all of us in The Gator Nation.

Last, but certainly not least, we offer a thanks–for–asking–the–tough–questions–and–keeping–our–politicians–on–their–toes LAUREL to long–time moderator of NBC’s “Meet the Press,” Tim Russert, who died Friday of a heart attack at the age of 58. Russert’s tenacious and pedantic interviewing style has intimidated — and in some cases, eviscerated — even the most charismatic and adept politicos over the past two decades. Russert has been described as a media institution, and rightfully so. His in–depth analysis and down–to–business disposition was tough, but fair. His incisive punditry will be sorely missed this crucial election season. We offer our deepest sympathies and condolences to his loved ones.
 
 


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July 2nd, 2009

Correction

The UF-Georgia football game is held annually at the Jacksonville Municipal Stadium. The contract for the game is between UF and the city of Jacksonville. An article in Tuesday’s paper stated otherwise.
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