In a chapel on Friday, every person received a slip of paper.
Each had a name, age and place of death.
Zella Ziona, 21, a mall in Washington, D.C.
India Clarke, 25, Tampa.
The names would eventually be read aloud in the United Church of Gainesville as part of its second annual observation of Transgender Day of Remembrance. About 30 people gathered in the chapel to share stories and remember the lives lost.
London VanHoose was one of four who told a personal story.
Growing up in Ohio, she was a small-town boy. She wore costumes and played with Barbie dolls.
But as time passed, her parents opposed her femininity.
"I struggled my whole life," VanHoose said, "wondering who I am, what I was."
The struggle was mapped out in a letter she wrote to herself seven years ago. It was a "to-do list of transition," she said.
Step 1: Get hormones.
Step 2: Get implants.
VanHoose said she wanted to become her ideal self, but she focused too much on her outward appearance. Years later, she’s completed about 10 percent of her list, she said.
"In your heart, you are who you are, and that’s who you need to be," she said to the crowd.
Now a worldwide event meant to honor the victims of transphobia, Transgender Day of Remembrance started 17 years ago as a candlelight vigil in honor of Rita Hester, a transgender woman who died the year before. The United Church and Pride Community Center of North Central Florida decided to co-host the Gainesville celebration because it supports all people, regardless of sexuality or gender identity, said Rev. Vince Amlin.
"We welcome and celebrate all people, inclusive of sexual orientation and gender identity, and so this is kind of a natural part of what we do," Amlin said.
He softly sounded a gong each time a dozen names had been read aloud. Row by row, members of the crowd recited the names on their piece of paper.
Some names were incomplete, ages unrecorded, but they were all celebrated, not for how they died but for how they lived.
"These people are not statistics," Britney Williams said to the crowd. "These lives mean something in some way to all of us here."
All of her life, Williams thought she was different. She felt queer.
"Queer in the sense of not belonging here," she said, "as in having a self that is at odds with everything around it."
To her, Friday night was a way of giving voices to the voiceless.
"This violence and suicide has left many of us hurting, but this day of remembrance really just proves to me that we are not alone, that no one in this community is alone," she said.
As the names were read aloud, UF linguistics senior Alex Schlaupitz said he was disheartened by the number of deaths and where they came from, primarily Brazil and the U.S.
"It’s definitely a sad thing to think about," the 23-year-old said.
Before any global change can occur, he said, individual communities like Gainesville first need to come together.
After the crowd read off their names, the rest were spoken from the altar.
Sean Waters, a Santa Fe College alumnus and transgender man, read dozens of names himself.
Waters, 26, said hate doesn’t start with violence. It starts with ostracism and intolerance.
While it’s necessary to honor the victims of transphobia, he said people cannot lose sight of the still-living members of the Trans community.
"We’re here," he said. "We’ve got to take care of each other."
Contact Martin Vassolo at mvassolo@alligator.org and follow him on Twitter @martindvassolo
