To paraphrase the great American poet Dorothy Parker, “I hate reporting. I love having reported.”

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“You’re canceled” is an internet death sentence. Twitter users have been given a powerful tool, and they are using it irresponsibly. The concept of going viral on the internet gives every user hope that one day, if they tweet often and clever enough, they too can win the retweet lottery. If the Twitter community and their infinite wisdom decide that your tweet makes the cut, your tweet can have an audience as wide as former President Barack Obama’s. Even if it’s only for 280 characters, you get to be slightly famous, and your tweet is seen by everyone who doesn’t live under a rock. I believe public opinion is dangerously susceptible to influence people from just a handful of viral tweets. A thread shaming a public figure can end their career.

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An open letter to all citizens of coffee-land who drink decaf: I do not understand you. I recognize the merits of coffee as a drink — its aroma, its flavors, its warmth as it hits your tongue. The small stains it leaves around the rim of your mug. The brown crop circle it leaves on your desk is endearing — its repose as a hazel-colored halo on what is likely meaningless desk paperwork. But for me, its main benefit is its ability to focus me on the task at hand. Coffee just doesn’t taste good enough to drink without the drug: caffeine.

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As one of the 1,149 students currently enrolled in UF’s Innovation Academy (IA), I spend a lot of time thinking about innovation and entrepreneurship. Almost every 21st century company claims to be “innovative” or seeks “innovative employees.” This makes UF’s minor in innovation through IA attractive to students looking to have a competitive edge in the job market. Since we are now living in a knowledge and internet economy rather than a manufacturing one, the only way to create distinguished products that can compete for market share is to innovate. Most people know this, but they aren’t sure how to go about it.

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A couple of pretty important and interesting things happened this past Student Senate meeting, and I feel it’d be pretty helpful to mention them in tandem with whatever The Alligator reporter writes about the meeting as well.

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Darts and Laurels

Graduation is a mere few weeks away, and you find yourself thinking, more often than usual, “How the heck did I get here?” You think back to unloading your parent’s car in the front of Broward Hall in the sweltering August heat, and you remember the nerves you felt as you walked into your first college lecture hall. It feels like just yesterday, right?

You’ve been refreshing your email inbox every five minutes since you woke up at 8 a.m., patiently (or not so patiently) waiting to hear back from the company you hope to intern for this summer. You’ve gotten other offers, but this one is really it — the one you’ve wanted since freshman year that you’re finally qualified enough for.

As you speed walk to your 12:50 p.m. class because you woke up late, you finally reach the corner of West University and 13th Street. You’re sweaty and 20 minutes late when the Hub comes into sight. Will being five minutes late to lecture actually make a difference? You did bring a reusable traveling mug, after all. You go to the Starbucks counter, give them your typical order — a grande French vanilla iced latte, double the syrup with caramel drizzle and an extra shot of espresso — and they stick on the label.

As you drown in stress and scramble to finish a paper you should have started a month ago, you become eternally grateful for the large sum of Easter candy your mom sent you in a care package earlier this week. It’s chocolate bunnies and jelly beans galore: It’s absolutely everything your stressed out self is craving.