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Friday, March 29, 2024

So we can’t pretend this week was the best, with Ebola panic continuing, rockets blowing up and midterms still killing our souls. But’s lets focus on the positive! We’ve got our first real cold front coming through, meaning Halloween and Fest will feel like fall instead of a sweltering rainforest. So here’s to your that-eighth-candy-bar-is-definitely-a-good-idea edition of...

Darts & Laurels 

On Monday, The Weather Channel co-founder and meteorologist John Coleman appeared on Fox News in an interview with anchor Megyn Kelly. In an open letter he penned in October, Coleman made the absurd claim that “there is no significant man-made global warming at this time” and no scientific evidence to support the concept. “Thank you for having me on your program,” Coleman said at the beginning of the segment. “A climate skeptic can rarely get on TV.” Apparently, Coleman doesn’t watch much Fox News, where being a climate-change denier is essentially part of the job description. We’re giving a head-in-the-sand DART to John Coleman.

This Wednesday was National Cat Day. To celebrate this treasured national holiday, Uber teamed up with the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals and popular cat-meme website Cheezburger to offer an UberKittens special in six major American cities. For $30, Uber users were able to request a “kitten car,” including a 15-minute cuddle session with a furry feline. All proceeds went to local shelters, and Uber matched all the contributions made through the special offer. We can only hope that Uber brings cuddly kittens to Gainesville some day. In the meantime, we’re giving a creative-cat-cuddles LAUREL to Uber.

Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-SC,  is the archetypal rich, white, male Republican. He’s also a ubiquitous presence on Sunday morning political shows, despite offering no remarkable expertise on any particular subject and having the personality of a 3-week-old Hot Pocket. Given Graham’s elite status, it was somewhat unsurprising when recordings emerged of Graham at a country club gathering saying, “white men who are in male-only clubs are going to do great in my presidency.” Fortunately, Graham has about as much chance of ever becoming president as Adam Sandler does of becoming pope. However, Graham’s statement does provide insight into the priorities of elite, white, male Republicans. An aren’t-you-supposed-to-represent-everyone? DART to Lindsey Graham.

American reality television shows are replete with individuals who engage in annoying, self-centered and often downright despicable behavior. One of the most notorious examples of low-quality reality television is TLC’s “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.” The show features child beauty pageant competitor Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson and her mother, June “Mama June” Shannon. Mercifully, TLC announced this week that “Honey Boo Boo” will at last be canceled. The reason for the cancellation is extremely disturbing: According to NPR, allegations recently surfaced that “Mama June” has resumed dating an old boyfriend who was convicted of molesting an 8-year-old related to Shannon. It is clear the last thing American television needs is any more “Honey Boo Boo.” A better-late-than-never LAUREL goes to TLC.

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