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Thursday, April 25, 2024

Who doesn’t love a good conspiracy film? A lone fighter struggling against a governmental authority responsible for controversial, covert schemes and robbing our fighter of his identity? Matt Damon as Jason Bourne has satisfied such spy inklings for years and will now return. First, there was “The Bourne Identity.” Then, “The Bourne Supremacy” and “The Bourne Ultimatum.”

Now, we have “The Bern Conspiracy.” Wait, what? Yes, Bernie Sanders and the Democratic National Convention.

In reading through the @dnc.org emails WikiLeaks published Saturday, it’s hard to call the DNC leaks anything other than a conspiracy. On May 5, DNC chief financial officer Brad Marshall wrote to three of his colleagues if they should “get someone” (presumably from the press) to press Sanders on the authenticity of his Jewish beliefs. “This could make several points difference with my peeps,” Marshall wrote ahead of the Kentucky and West Virginia primaries. “My Southern Baptist peeps would draw a big difference between a Jew and an atheist.”

Here’s a top official in an organization that proclaims itself as neutral suggesting to exploit one candidate’s religious, personal beliefs and manipulate voters’ perception at the expense of that organization’s preferred candidate.

Adding insult to injury, a DNC staffer wrote to DNC Communications Director Luis Miranda on May 21, “Wondering if there’s a good Bernie narrative for a story, which is that Bernie never ever had his act together, that his campaign was a mess.” It’s almost as if these officials were campaigning for Hillary Clinton.

Of course, you could argue all this is really only the fault of the DNC and has nothing to do with Clinton herself. There’s no email evidence of Clinton’s overt validation of the DNC’s biases: We can speculate, but we can only make concrete declarations based on what’s evident. So, Clinton’s camp was in the clear, right?

Well, yes, until Clinton hired former DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz, immediately after her resignation too, stating: “I am glad that she has agreed to serve as honorary chair of my campaign’s 50-state program… and will continue to serve as a surrogate for my campaign nationally.”

Put it this way: What the DNC did was so nefarious and indisputably corrupt that Donald Trump may have actually tweeted the first truthful thing this entire campaign: “How much BAD JUDGEMENT was on display by the people in DNC in writing those really dumb e-mails, using even religion, against Bernie!”

When you’re so in the red a perpetually lying, neo-fascist oompa loompa can tell a sad truth about you, you’re not in very good shape.

The worst thing about this entire conspiracy is we would know nothing about it were it not for hackers and WikiLeaks; left to their own devices, the DNC would’ve carried on, business as usual.

So rest assured, you can walk into “Jason Bourne” in theaters this Friday without brushing up on the Bourne trilogy to get re-accustomed to high-action conspiracy thrillers. We just had the greatest conspiracy take place right before our very eyes: with a party organization conspiring against one of its affiliated candidates behind closed doors and investing all of its resources into a flawed, highly unfavorable candidate who fluctuates between barely winning and outright losing to an orange Frankenstein’s monster.

What film conspiracy could top that? And as far “high-action,” well, did anyone watch Rudy Giuliani’s speech at the Republican convention? There’s no way the image of Giuliani raging and belting “America!” hasn’t given some poor child nightmares. #RatedRforRudy

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