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Friday, March 29, 2024

Another arctic week in Gainesville has come and gone, and our resolves are being tested. The initial thrill of finally getting the chance to break out those dusty boots and moth-eaten gloves has worn off, and now we’d give anything to return to frat tanks and flip-flops. Our tropical temperaments simply aren’t suited for 30-degree nights. And remember: It’s not too late to get a flu shot from the Student Health Care Center. Seriously! It takes, like, five minutes, and the nurses are very nice.

Here it is: your California-dreamin’-on-a-winter’s-day edition of...

Darts & Laurels

This week, highlights of the most recent Student Senate meeting included talk of free sunscreen dispensers at Broward Outdoor Recreation Complex and the University Village South volleyball courts. Um, what? Since when did students, most of whom are from the state of Florida and therefore know how the sun works, need RecSports to buy their sunscreen? And really, what’s more appealing than using hot, crusty sunscreen that’s been baking in a dispenser out next to some outdoor tennis and volleyball courts? Don’t insult us. Rub-on sunscreen belongs in the Stone Age next to dial-up Internet and scrunchies — spray-on sunscreen FTW. A DART to Student Senate for encouraging reckless spending, on sunscreen of all things.

Today the Mars rover “Opportunity” celebrates its 10th year as the United States’ ambassador to the red planet. “Opportunity” was only supposed to last a few years, but the little rover that could is still soldiering on a decade later and providing the U.S. with important insight on the environmental conditions on Mars.

According to USA Today, “the senior-citizen rover is still going strong — and after many frustrating years scouting sites far too acidic to host life, Opportunity has finally spotted a place where the conditions were once hospitable to living organisms.”

Because we love an underdog, a LAUREL to “Opportunity,” which is still roving after all these years.

On to more serious news, we need to talk about Justin Bieber. Everyone’s least-favorite Canadian has been splashing headlines with some pretty idiotic antics lately, and some of them have finally landed him in the big house. Yesterday, the pop star was booked on charges of DUI and resisting arrest. Yep, the little man who has to be carried away by his handlers tried to resist arrest. Somewhere, Usher is shedding a single tear. This week, we’re throwing a your-mugshot-ain’t-even-cute DART to Justin Bieber.

To close on some happier news, Gainesville resident Chris Cano, pioneer of pedal-powered community compost, will be speaking at national U.S. Composting Council Conference in Oakland, Calif., next week.

“The model of moving waste out of town to be handled out of sight is not only infeasible in a lot of ways, but it’s uninspiring in a lot of ways,” Cano told the Alligator this week. “What we’re doing is inspiring. It’s showing people that there could be a better way.”

For that, we’re handing Cano and Gainesville Compost a you’re-in-the-big-leagues-now LAUREL. Good luck in Oakland!

Happy Friday, Gators. Stay warm!

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[A version of this editorial ran on page 6 on 1/24/2014 under the headline "Darts & Laurels"]

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