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Thursday, March 28, 2024

Site: Memorial Stadium at Faurot Field (Cap. 71,168)

Kickoff: 7:30 p.m.

TV/Radio: SEC Network

We’re six weeks into the college football season, and we here at the alligatorSports Brand Picks Column are ready for a road matchup between Florida and Missouri.

The Gators pulled off a stunning upset last week against then-No. 3 Ole Miss, and coach Jim McElwain became the first UF coach to open his debut season with the Gators with a 5-0 record since Steve Spurrier did so in 1990. Now, Florida will be heading on the road for the second time this season as it travels to Columbia, Missouri, for a matchup against the Tigers, who are coming off a 24-10 victory against Spurrier’s South Carolina team. 

Debating Saturday’s Miami vs. Florida State game are alligatorSports assistant editor Luis Torres and alligatorSports staff writer Graham Hack.

Miami (+9) will cover the spread because…

The Hurricanes aren’t as bad as everyone thinks. If you listened to what people are saying about them, you would think they were a 1-3 ballclub. But in fact, the Hurricanes are 3-1, and they actually rank second in the Atlantic Coast Conference in total offense and fourth in scoring offense — both of which are higher than the Seminoles. Good quarterbacks are also great equalizers, and Brad Kaaya, who leads the ACC in passing, will be the first real test for a Florida State defense that hasn’t faced an actual offense this season. Plus, this is a rivalry game, and as we all know, these are the contests that breed close finishes and bring out the best in underdogs. In this series in particular, 12 of the last 16 games have been decided by nine points or fewer, including last year’s 30-26 Florida State victory.

—Graham Hack

Florida State (-9) will win because…

Do you see that flying in the sky? Oh yeah, it’s another "Fire Al Golden" banner. Expect another one to be flying high this weekend as the Hurricanes will travel to Tallahassee. Miami coach Al Golden has the hottest seat in America right now. Quarterback Everett Golson seems to have left his ability to turnover the ball in South Bend as he’s yet to commit one this year, while throwing for seven touchdowns. Expect the Seminoles to win their sixth consecutive game of the rivalry.

—Luis Torres

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Now onto the picks!

Picks - Missouri

In first place with a 22-17-1 record is the Orlando Sentinel’s Edgar "Make me a sandwich" Thompson, who was offered a delectable peanut butter and jelly sandwich by Florida football coach Jim McElwain on Wednesday. That's a pretty sweet deal, Edgar. Make sure you get it on video — Mac will wait. And don't be like Antonio Callaway and get the crust cut off.

We have a three-way tie for second place, all three sporting 21-18-1 records.

To start off is Nick "self-tanner" de la Torre, whose palms were more orange on Wednesday than the pumpkins used for his Dunkin Donuts' spiced latte. Hey Nick, instead of just getting your palms tanned, why don’t you go all out and join the cast of the Jersey Shore? It would be a much better career for you.

Tied with Nick is Alligator managing/online editor Jordan "not-a-handyman" McPherson who botched Alex Anzalone's shoulder injury by describing it as being held together by "Duck tape" instead of duct tape. Hey Jordan, how about you get some sleep. Maybe if you dream about some ducks everything will be OK.

And finally, we have the Palm Beach Post’s Anthony "south of Miami" Chiang, who is still in denial about being "born and raised" in Miami. Hey Anthony, Graham Hall disproved your theory about Kendall being a part of Miami, so the jig is up. Embrace that you’re a part of unincorporated Dade county and don't have your Twitter followers fight your battles for you.

In fifth, with a 19-20-1 record, we have alligatorSports editor Graham "Prius" Hall who decided to make the lovely 16 hour trip to Missouri in his Prius. Hey Graham, I hope everyone on the road is ready for you to blast Young Thug. Nothing says "I'm a straight up G" than listening to that genre in Toyota’s fuel efficient car.

In sixth place with a record of 16-23-1 is alligatorSports assistant editor Luis "fake Yankees fan" Torres, who took far too much enjoyment in Alex Rodriguez’s failure in Wednesday’s AL Wild Card game than a real Yankees fan should. Hey Luis, it’s time to ditch the Yankees snuggie — you don’t deserve it anymore.

In seventh place with a record of 15-24-1 is alligatorSports staff writer Graham "left turn" Hack, who decided to watch NASCAR qualifying in the office in the middle of the MLB Playoffs. Hey Graham, maybe if you learned to make a left turn you’d be able to show up to work on time.

And now in dead-ass-last with a piss poor record of 14-25-1 is 247 Sports’ Thomas "original injury guy" Goldkamp, who was temporarily replaced as the guy who asks about injuries by Landon, aka injury guy "the sequel" according to McElwain. It’s OK, Thomas, you’ll probably be in the $5 bargain bin in a few months with such classics as GI Joe and Highlander.

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