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Thursday, April 25, 2024

Site: Ben Hill Griffin Stadium (Cap. 88,548)

Kickoff: 7:30 p.m. ET

TV/Radio: ESPN

 

The Gators barely avoided a massive letdown against the Florida Atlantic Owls on Saturday, and the team is depleted at multiple positions.

With UF’s biggest rival, FSU, coming to Gainesville on Saturday after Thanksgiving, the Gators must regroup to keep their College Football Playoff hopes alive.

Against the Seminoles, Florida will face one of its toughest tests of the season: stopping running back Dalvin Cook.

With this being our last paper of the week, this edition of the alligatorSports Brand Picks column will be running three days earlier than usual.

Debating Saturday’s UCLA at No. 24 USC game is alligatorSports editor Graham Hall and Alligator managing/online editor Jordan McPherson.

 

UCLA will win because…

I’m sure they don’t care if they win, they live in Los Angeles. It’s sunny, it’s fun, I’m happy and it’s Thanksgiving break.

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Mmmmmm, turkey.

This is one of the rivalry games that people on the West Coast care about, but I would honestly rather watch an NBA game. Bruins are about to pull an upset and I can't wait to read about it the morning after.

— Graham Hall

 

USC will win because…

You know what? I can’t believe you’re not amped for this game, Graham. If you can get excited for a women's basketball game you should be able to power through this matchup.

It’s the battle for the gauntlet!

It’s awesome and I’m definitely going to stay awake Saturday night until 2 a.m. and see this thriller conclude.

Actually, the end of this semester, and the alligatorSports Brand Picks Column, can't come soon enough.

— Jordan McPherson

 

Now onto the picks!

 

In first place with a record of 50-44-2 is the Palm Beach Post’s Anthony "Grow a Pair" Chiang, who commended the Picks Column committee for their intense and well-thought-out burns this semester.

Come on, Chiang, we aren’t that mean.

You’re actually just a big, cuddly bear, if said bear lived in a hell hole in unincorporated Dade County.

 

We have a two way tie for second place, with both sporting records of 49-45-2.

 

First up is the Alligator Managing/Online Editor Jordan "Drunk Turkey" McPherson, whose 21st birthday falls on this Thanksgiving. McPherson will be celebrating with enough liquor to kill a fully grown elephant, and he deserves it.

Just make sure you don’t finally try to learn how to drive a car on the same night.

 

Next is GatorCountry’s Nick "By the grace of God" de la Torre, who somehow rose up in the ranks this week despite a horrendous 3-5 outing.

Congrats, Nick. Glad your inside source pulled through for you.

You better show that person some affection or you might start dropping again.

 

In fourth place with a record of 48-46-2 is alligatorSports assistant editor Luis "Creepy Student" Torres, who turns 24 on Dec. 1 yet is still in his undergraduate level classes.

Stop preying on the innocent freshmen, Luis.

You may be a telecommunications major, but that doesn’t mean you can stand outside Broward yelling "Please look at my package!"

 

In fifth place with a record of 47-47-2 is the Orlando Sentinel’s Edgar "Creepy Old Guy" Thompson, who felt out of place after Saturday’s FAU game when he awkwardly passed by a group of female UF students while he was dragging his computer bag around.

Don’t worry, Edgar.

Once you figure out your golf game and how to function that new MacBook, you’ll be so far away from campus that you'll never have to worry about that again.

 

In sixth place with a record of 41-53-2 is alligatorSports editor Graham "Butler Buddy" Hall, who will be sticking around his hometown of Gainesville during Thanksgiving to grind it out with the women’s basketball coach.

Come on, Graham, you're an embarrassment to this office.

There must be something better you can do with your time.

Maybe get some exercise after your belly will surely get bigger after Thanksgiving.

 

In seventh place with a record 40-54-2 is 247Sports’ Thomas "No Excuses" Goldkamp, who claims his terrible record this season is because he’s picking under protest.

Nice try, Goldy, but I don't think you're losing on purpose. You can start by admitting you’re more annoying than a caffeinated Landon when it comes to hearing you make excuses.

 

And STILL in dead-ass-last with a record of 39-55-2 is alligatorSports staff writer Graham "Jeff Gordon sucks" Hack, who secretly despises the finally retired man behind the No. 24 car.

Move on, Hack, nobody here cares about NASCAR.

We're all frankly tired of hearing about which car turned left the fastest.

 

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