Stereotypes are not what they seem. They are ideas. They are not people. Nobody — no matter how predictable one thinks their behavior — is a stereotype. We are all dynamic individuals with backgrounds and attributes completely unique to ourselves. The problem with stereotypes is the generalization of the specific quality to all members of the group — not the quality itself.
We don’t want assumptions to be made about our character or actions based on a specific trait. That is certainly understandable. However, when we demonize or reject a stereotype outright, we do so out of hate or disgust of that quality. The quality associated with a stereotype does no actual harm to us.
It is the negative connotation others apply to that quality that causes anger. In a society where drag queens are viewed by many with derision and mockery, we often miss the opportunity to praise their creativity, talent and nerve.
A post to the website “Over Enthusiastic PFLAG Mother” lays out the problem very well: “Someone called you gay and you got offended? That’s so straight.” Certainly, the post is almost as problematic as the attitude it’s decrying. Not all heterosexual people are violently offended by being misidentified as gay. However, the message is simple. Taking offense to being generalized by a stereotype, while natural, makes a harsh judgment against those who actually identify with that quality. “No, I’m not,” is just as effective a response as, “Hell, no!”
Demonizing the quality of another, possibly one that they take great pride in, because you don’t want to be associated with a stereotype is a worse offense than plain bigotry.
In a community — any community — that has been historically marginalized, mocked and made inferior, the job of making others feel horrible about their identity, personality, likes or dislikes should be left to racists, sexists, homophobes and other bigots — not other community members.
Editor's note: This letter refers to this guest column.
