Skip to Content, Navigation, or Footer.
We inform. You decide.
Tuesday, January 25, 2022

I’d like to bring to everyone’s attention the embarrassment that is “Total Sorority Move” (TSM). I have no idea why this passes as the female equivalent to “Total Frat Move” (TFM), but I wish Grandex Co. and the writers/producers of TSM would step it up

When you visit TFM’s website, you get nothing less than bros writing about and celebrating other bros across the globe.

When you visit TSM, you see their “Top All Time” posts – which are no less than revolting 75% of the time – and the musings of the lovely and totally-not-bitter-and-sarcastic “hot piece of TSM”.

“Hot piece of TSM” writes the majority of the articles that I like to call “short-and-sweet,” meaning they have the most views because they are short enough to hold the attention of online readers.

It appears that readers see her articles first. Perhaps they never even move on to the others. So, I have a serious question, Veronica.

Why are you the main communicator here?

Don’t get me wrong. Being sarcastic is a very entertaining thing, as is being bitterly sarcastic, depending on your audience. Being bitter, on the other hand, is bad for your health, and when your writing is under the eyes of thousands of young women every day, it’s bad for everyone’s health. 

So, thank you, “hot piece,” for reaffirming and reemphasizing the value of women hating other women. Not only does Veronica make fun of herself in almost every one of her articles, but also she constantly pokes, prods and then decidedly stabs the female public figures she’s covering.

I’m not even sure whether or not I can point out this writer’s clear personal insecurities as faults, since she seems to embrace them so whole-heartedly. Self-deprecating humor has its own value, but honestly?

I don’t want to read about you hating “everything about [your] face, body, and wardrobe” or having to look at the pictures of other girls you’ve deemed fat or unattractive in an effort to feel better about your own appearance and worth.

Why should I or any other young woman read what you think about anything if you don’t even respect yourself? 

I also don’t want to think you actually meant it when you called Kate Upton “America’s masturbatory aid.” 

Enjoy what you're reading? Get content from The Alligator delivered to your inbox

I suppose Kate’s probably laughing at all the young women out there who constantly shit on her for being too curvy or too sexual or too whatever; she gets paid more because of you.

Regardless, she is gorgeous. She’s a model, for pete’s sake. If she has a couple pimples on a given day, all the more kudos to her for being a model.

You can say her boobs are gross; she doesn’t have cheekbones; she looks like a cow because her stomach isn’t toned… blah blah. She gets paid to look exactly the way she looks. Until she says she’s unhappy with the way her career is panning out, I think that’s great. She’s a model. Are you?

Well, we know you aren’t. You’re a writer (or you’re supposed to be).

But I digress. Here’s my personal favorite from Veronica’s recent article about Scarlett Johansson being 2013’s “Sexiest Woman Alive:”

“as everyone knows, once you hate a girl, she lands herself squarely in the “not even that pretty” category for the rest of your days.” 

I wasn’t aware that I could change the way another girl looks just by disliking her. Brilliant!

Additionally, your reason for “hating” Scarlett Johansson is absolutely justifiable. She played a character who has sex with a married man. That totally reflects who she is as a human being. 

I don’t mean to make this entire post about “hot piece.” Let’s not forget that fabulous wall of “Top All Time” TSM posts.

Here’s some gems:

1)    “I'm in the law library with my frat daddy. He's studying corporations or something. I am coloring. TSM.”

2)    “No gag reflex. TSM.

3)    “Feminism is for ugly girls. TSM.

4)    “Hyphenated last names are for GDIs. I'll be taking my husband's name. TSM.”

I honestly don’t even have room in this post to address these, but… positive messages for women everywhere. Tots def.

There are some posts and articles on TSM that are slightly less horrible. So, after browsing through a lot of what this site has to offer, I wondered about the potential satirical nature of some of these articles.

So, another question, Veronica: is this all a joke to you and the other TSM writers?

Are all the articles and posts just supposed to be ridiculous?

If so, why? TFM is certainly humorous sometimes, but it’s hardly a joke. If TSM is supposed to be the female equivalent of TFM, why would its writers skip the substance? 

You’re not being comedic or entertaining, you’re giving your readers a constant stream of bull.

This is pointless and a waste of everyone’s time.   

TSM, especially the articles by “hot piece,” depicts sorority girls as the petty, drama-obsessed nightmares all of us GDI girls really don’t have time to deal with.

But the sorority girls who are my friends are wonderful young women. They care for their sisters and their friends, and they absolutely put effort into school and any other cause or club to which they’ve committed their time. They’re intelligent, ambitious young women who seek to find their own happiness through helping others. Some want to change the world in the process, and some do not. That’s their right; this is America.

It doesn’t make any sense to me why being in a sorority has become associated with a lack of self-respect, a contradictory and undeserved sense of self-absorption, and finally an unnecessary and constant vibe of hatred towards other women. 

TSM is the website that’s supposed to celebrate sorority women and their accomplishments. It doesn’t do that at all. It reaffirms crappy stereotypes and is wholly unhelpful to sorority women and non-sorority women across the country.

Support your local paper
Donate Today
The Independent Florida Alligator has been independent of the university since 1971, your donation today could help #SaveStudentNewsrooms. Please consider giving today.

Powered by SNworks Solutions by The State News
All Content © 2022 The Independent Florida Alligator and Campus Communications, Inc.