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Thursday, March 28, 2024

The air feels more crisp than usual. You look up to see a dark clouded sky framed by large pine trees and leaves rustling in the cool wind. You’re suddenly thankful you wore your hoodie and jeans. It seems like autumn is finally here. With midterms over, you have time to enjoy one of the finer things in life — pumpkin patches.

Looking around, you see a field full of friends and family who are all transfixed by different shapes of the same fruit. 

You, on the other hand, are mesmerized by a strange cat.

It wanders through the pumpkin field as if it’s looking for something. As you start to approach it, it stops and stares at you. The cat’s green eyes look deeply into yours before it stalks away into the surrounding woods, making sure to look back at you before black fur merges into the darkness.

It’s almost as if the cat wants you to follow it.

You take one step forward, and then one step back.

Not today, Satan. Not today.

Your friends distract you from your potentially life-threatening adventure. Apparently, they found a pumpkin that looks like the shape of Rihanna’s shadow. From a distance, it looks like an insult.

When you look closer you see...

Darts & Laurels 

The weather is starting to fit the season for once. For the most part, the mornings stay a cool 60 degrees and we no longer have to sweat on the walk to class. A laurel goes to the weather for finally gifting us with hoodie season. 

Unfortunately, some bad things come with this season as well: one of them being the college application process.

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According to the Washington Post, at least 44 public and private universities across the nation rank applicants before they even apply. They track applicants’ activity on their respective websites, how long they stay on a certain page and even information regarding their financial status. This is extremely problematic as they tend to accept students with a higher income, which favors those who require less financial aid and will likely spend more money on the school. A dart goes to these institutions for scamming people before they even get accepted. At least some schools have the decency to do it afterward. 

On Thursday, America was robbed of a hero. Longtime congressman and civil rights activist Elijah Cummings died. The Alligator Editorial board would like to give him a laurel for his work as a public official and thank him for fighting for those who are often marginalized.

Rest in power, Congressman Cummings. The world needs more people like you.

Unfortunately, the world is filled with people who clearly don’t know much about anything — one of them currently lives in the White House. President Donald Trump sent a letter to the Turkish president on Oct. 9, urging him to not attack Kurdish-led forces in Syria. 

Of course, the Turkish president ignored him, promptly throwing his letter away. We can’t blame him, really, as the letter was written at a third-grade reading level. We have to give a dart to the Trump for not knowing how to communicate like an adult.

Despite this, some people in the U.S. government are actually behaving their age and making great changes while doing it. 

U.S. and international law enforcement have recently shut down one of the biggest child pornography sites. There have been 337 arrests around the world, including Jong Woo Son, one of the site’s administrators. The last laurel goes to the IRS and Homeland Security officials for making the world a safer place for children.

We’re hoping for changes as great as this one every week.

 The Editorial Board consists of Zora Viel, Opinions Editor; Amanda Rosa, Editor-in Chief; Kelly Hayes, Digital Managing Editor; and Tranelle Maner, Engagement Managing Editor.

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