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Friday, April 19, 2024

With Spring Break gone and a terrifyingly challenging week of classes under our belts, we have all settled back in. It’s different this time, though. After a Spring Break without responsibilities or rules, it’s hard to rid ourselves of that mindset. We’ve tasted what life is like for the elite members of society who don’t have to work for things, and returning to the "Gainesville grind" now feels like a painful vacation to a penitentiary. What did we do to deserve this? Students’ breakup with Spring Break is cruel, and now we are left with the sloppy second half of the semester. Is there any hope that it’ll get better?

First order of business: We need to address the feeling of post-break depression. People will tell you that it will fade as the #UFLife inspires feelings of joy and pride to rise up from the deepest chasms of your soul. This is hilariously false. We may be in the home stretch, but it isn’t getting any easier.

Maybe you probably drank too much over break and put on some extra weight. Attending college, keeping up with extracurriculars and hanging out with friends makes it difficult to stay in shape for the rest of the semester. Maybe you partied for the nine-day duration of spring break, neglecting sleep because you didn’t want to miss those late nights in Miami getting your fake ID denied at the city’s extensive list of nightclubs. If you counted on getting sleep at school, need I remind you that you are a Florida Gator? Sleep is not part of your degree, so kiss that goodbye as well.

So, the first three weeks are bad. A positive thinker might say, “The next three can’t possibly be as hard, it’s the home stretch.” I am not one of those positive thinkers. The last three weeks of the year will play out as follows.

During the third-to-last week of the semester all throughout The Swamp, students will have their daydreams of Spring Break replaced by those of a two-month reprieve from their majors and the hellish weather of Alachua County in April. Summer, baby! It’ll be three weeks away though, which leaves an angsty bitterness in students’ guts all week.

The second-to-last week will look a little like this, the anger about the distance from summer will begin to fade. However, the realization that finals are coming can sour everyone's moods. Students will begin to cram with Study Edge, Smokin’ Notes, insomnia and prayers. They still won’t consider paying attention or going to office hours (we might be smart at UF, but we never stoop that low), but they will complain all week about their lack of academic resources or about how their “professors are bad.” Right.

Finally, the week before freedom, the final layer of defense this semester has to offer against the reprieve of summer. There’s an entire week of tests, causing us to have to say goodbye to friends, sleep and brain cells, all against the backdrop of 90-degree weather. As you drive home after moving out of your dorm or apartment, it feels like a victory. It’s the kind of victory they had in “The Empire Strikes Back” though, where they escape Darth Vader, but Han Solo is an ice cube. It’s called a pyrrhic victory, and it’s the best you can hope for out of this semester.

So, what’s the verdict for the rest of the semester? Regrettably, while Spring 2019 may still be here, it has been tainted by the fond memories of Spring Break, the tantalizing promise of summer and the combined forces of college life.

Kyle Cunningham is a UF English freshman. His column appears on Mondays.

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