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Tuesday, April 23, 2024

How you, too, can handle your quarter-life crisis

I have been apartment hunting in Gainesville for the past four hours, trying to decide between an apartment that will ultimately lead to me giving my spleen as a down payment or something on the cheaper side that could double as a backdrop for the Stanford prison experiment. 

Through my masses of Google searches, it hit me: I’m 20 years old and this adult thing is really hard. I’ve spent the entire month of September half-excited, half-dreading becoming 20 years old. I am no longer a teen, but I’m still far from being a full-fledged adult. I’m stuck in this strange in-between where I’m caught up in being expected to know so much yet so little about the world. 

I believe that a lot of people have a similar feeling toward becoming an adult: confusion. It’s a time in our lives when you have to start planning for your future that goes beyond the next year or even four years. I’m talking about a lifetime. It’s a time in our lives when decisions matter and they could lead us down completely different paths. It’s impossible to figure out what the right decision is. 

I am decidedly not a good adult. I got so distracted the other night by the opening credits of a movie that I burnt my microwave popcorn to the point where it looked like tar. I had to open my apartment windows for an hour to let out the smoke. I am not someone who should be in charge of major life decisions, but I am. That’s the scary thing about being 20 years old.

I have to be responsible enough to not only survive but also to thrive. We are at one of the only points in our lives when mistakes are expected, but a quick recovery time is also expected. Learning from mistakes is a vital part of growing up. It’s one of the only ways we can ever grow in life. Mistakes can be a hard pill to swallow, at least for me, because it’s starting to feel like I’m too old for them. 

I’ve come to realize that’s a ridiculous idea. No one is ever too “old” or too “young” to make mistakes. They are a part of life and some of the best lessons we’ll ever get to learn. Having life figured out at 20 is impossible, but it’s not going to stop people from trying. When we try, we’re bound to get things wrong sometimes. Age doesn’t matter. 

Samuel L. Jackson didn’t get his big break until he was 43. Vera Wang was 40 when she entered the fashion industry. Kylie Jenner is set to become a billionaire at 21. Everyone has their own paths to take and their own successes to find. Age doesn’t define those journeys. 

Comparing myself to others and how far they’ve come already in their life is one of my worst habits. It’s easy to see everyone’s successes in a world that promotes their best moments — as it should. Social media is a place to show your achievements and not your failures. It’s easy to assume that there were no struggles behind those accomplishments. The truth is, a person has to be really good at failing to become even better at achieving. 

There are always going to be people that are more successful than you. I’ve come to understand that I don’t have everything under control — not even close. But that’s okay. I’m starting to become more comfortable in this strange arena of adulthood and childhood. It’s comforting to know that there are still things I need to learn. I have goals and places I want to be in life, and it’s important to take a step back and remember those goals aren’t going anywhere. They’ll be waiting until you’re ready to grab them by the horns.

Michaela Mulligan is a UF journalism sophomore. Her column appears on Wednesdays.

 

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