Looks don’t really matter at the end of the summer, especially in North Florida. The entirety of the Gainesville population is dripping with sweat and unbothered by unkempt appearances.
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We know this election cycle’s been hanging over your heads for what seems like forever, though probably still not as long as it’s been since you’ve returned your grandma’s voicemails. (Give her a call back, for heaven’s sake!) In so many ways, though, we’re just getting started. The general election is steadily approaching, and for weeks, all we’ve been hearing about is the need for party unity.
Due to recent developments to Gator football, a special four-page sports edition of the Independent Florida Alligator will be available Thursday at Turlington Plaza and at the Reitz Union.
Hang in there, Gators, the weekend is almost here. And after hearing several of you vomiting in our parking lot after a “successful” St. Patrick’s Day, we’re sure you’re ready for it.
Welcome back to a new semester, a new decade and a new onslaught of laughs, tears and things that’ll just plain piss you off brought to you by yours truly.
The most notable result of Tuesday's election was not the Republican wins in New Jersey or Virginia, but the continued push in voter initiatives rejecting same-sex marriage.
You could best describe the current mood at the Department of Darts and Laurels as ambivalent. Summer classes have finally come to an end, and we're stuck somewhere in between nostalgia and euphoria.
The final countdown has begun. One week until summer break. The beginning of the end of summer classes means that tailgating and tackle football are on the horizon. And while we at the Department of Darts and Laurels can't wait to see Tebow and Co. run all over the "competition," we're determined to conclude the summer with the patented satirical smack-downs that you've come to expect from these pages. As summer classes wind down to a close, we hope you've enjoyed the summer edition of what has become something of an institution (no, we're not presumptuous at all) in The Gator Nation. We thank you for humoring us as we've offered scathing indignation and effusive gratitude, not usually in equal portions, in reaction to the news of the week. So without further ado, we offer the second-to-last summer installment of …
When it hasn't been raining, it's been hot as Hades in the center of The Gator Nation this week. As the dog days of summer sprint onward at break-neck speed, we at the Department of Darts and Laurels would like to advise our loyal readers to stay hydrated and keep cool. Heat stroke shouldn't be taken lightly and neither should this week's blazing edition of …
Last week, in what appears to be a momentous and welcome shift, the Bush administration announced that it would be working with the Iraqi government to develop a "general time horizon" for the redeployment of U.S. forces from Iraq. According to White House Press Secretary Dana Perino, President Bush and Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki have reached a verbal accord on the issue of setting what might otherwise be called a timetable for the withdrawal of U.S. soldiers from Iraq. But don't make the mistake of confusing the terms "timetable" and "general time horizon."
"Oh, we're halfway there…" Three weeks, ladies and gentlemen. That's all that's left of summer B. Soon some of us will be graduating and making our way out into the real world. Or, failing that, crashing on our parents' couches for the foreseeable future. Unfortunately, considering the current state of the economy, the latter is looking increasingly likely. More on that later.
We hate to say it, but one Student Government organization is actually doing something right. Not everything, mind you, but we'll give credit where credit's due.
They move around, barely visible to the naked eye. In silence, they attack their victims and leave us in agonizing pain when all we want to do is get to class. No, not terrorists. We're talking about the newest sadistic wave taking over Gainesville.
In most people's minds, alcohol and tailgating go together like rum and Coke.
The battle rages on, and the end is nowhere in sight. As Student Government parties continue fighting over just their names, they delay qualifying for would-be senatorial candidates. This does not bode well for a smooth election season.
We're mad. We have too much homework and too little sleep. Too few beers and too little money. Not enough clothing and not enough laundry money. We're pissed, and we're not afraid to say it. This week, the Department of Darts & Laurels might as well be a crotchety old man - you know, that bald 80-year-old covered in liver spots who yells at those damn kids to get off his lawn. So stay out of our way today as we vent our frustrations in this week's furious-and-fuming edition of…