We may still have Rocky Top stuck in our heads after hearing it way too many times for a 31-point Florida win, and some Gators fans may still be recovering from early morning drinking (seriously, who schedules a noon football game?), but we all survived Week 4.
Aside from Washington State, of course. The Cougs allowed one of the greatest comebacks in college football history against a winless UCLA team. Despite trailing by 32 in the third quarter and allowing 9 touchdowns from WSU quarterback Anthony Gordon, the Bruins took the game 67-63 — all while most of America was sound asleep.
God, I love this sport.
College football fans will have to hope for more weirdness like that this weekend, as the slate of games is kind of bleak.
But before we get into all that, football writers Sam Campisano and Kyle Wood give their predictions for a west coast showdown between No. 21 USC at No. 17 Washington.
USC will win because…
I’ll be completely honest here: I’m not exactly a Pac-12 expert.
I tend to stray away from bad football, something the conference has been specializing in lately. The games also usually happen way past my bedtime and on channels I don’t have — more factors not in its favor.
Still, I’ve always been confident in Trojans.
USC also has a good-looking quarterback with a story made for Hollywood.
Redshirt junior Matt Fink — USC’s third string before the season — burst onto the scene last week by leading his team to a 30-23 win at No. 10 Utah in his first career start.
Fink went 21 for 30 with 351 yards and three touchdowns against the Utes. He has all the intangibles of a USC quarterback who will light up college football then tank in the NFL.
I know one when I see one. I’m a Jets fan.
USC 31, Washington 28. All aboard the Fink train.
— Sam Campisano
Washington (-10.5) will win because…
USC can’t buy a win. Get it. USC. Buy. Money. Bribe? Just kidding, sort of. The football team, not the rowing team, or whatever, has been good. But Washington has been better. Huskies quarterback Jacob Eason will move the ball through the air against a Trojans secondary that includes Gators great Chris Steele. Eason already has more than 1,000 passing yards this season and the UW has a dynamic rushing attack as well, led by Salvan Ahmed, Richard Newton and Sean McGrew, all of which have more than 200 yards on the ground.
Unfortunately, this 3:30 p.m. kick doesn’t qualify for the infamous Pac-12 after dark designation, so I will not be watching Washington roll in this one. Anyway, Washington better relish its time playing conference foes from California while it can, before the NCAA puts the nix on the Golden State and thus preserves the pristine image of amateurism.
— Kyle Wood
Now onto the picks…
Leading us off in the top spot at 22-9 is Kyle “Massive Antonio Brown Fan” Wood, who not only liked the troubled receiver’s clapback tweet toward Eric Weddle, but also still has him on his fantasy team. Was Kyle colluding with AB to resurrect his reputation and get him back on the field? It’s impossible to say, but yes. Either way, it’s #problematic.
In second place at 21-10 is Tyler “Unicorn Sports Editor” Nettuno. The infamous Facebook algorithm recommended Tyler buy a shirt suggesting he’s a dancing rainbow unicorn sports editor, rather than a boring, normal horse sports editor. Sometimes these ads go off your search history. If you really want the shirt, maybe we can make it happen for your birthday.
In third at 20-11 is Mark “Can Throw A Football Over Them Mountains” Long, who got to meet the real Uncle Rico when he showed up at the Jaguars’ practice on Thursday. Honestly, Mark, this section isn’t even a roast. We’re just jealous. Now, were you able to watch him throw a football a quarter mile?
In fourth (for now) at 19-12 is Nick “Still Hasn’t Sent His Picks” De La Torre, who, as this is being typed Thursday night, still hasn’t sent his picks to Tyler. Will Nick get them in on time? If you see a fat “N/A” for all of his picks, you’ll know he didn’t.
In fifth at 18-13 is Edgar “Trapped In A Wind Tunnel” Thompson, who voiced his frustrations about the UF communications staff’s lack of ability to keep the press box breeze in check. In Edgar’s defense, it was pretty windy. Don’t worry, man. I’m sure whichever lucky fan found your game notes across the stadium will take good care of them.
In a two-way tie for sixth at 16-15 is Sam “Go Play In Traffic” Campisano, who was told by a fan on Twitter that, in lieu of continuing his promising career in journalism, he should walk into a busy road. Geez, Sam. Some people really don’t take kindly to criticism of Dan Mullen. But maybe JoMo has a point. If you hate the Gators so much, why don’t you just go to FSU?
Graham “Doesn’t Know What Dylan Looks Like” Hall joins Sam in sixth. Graham texted Tyler saying he didn’t see Dylan at women’s basketball media day Thursday. He was there, Graham. Literally the whole time. It’s fine, it’s not like he’s in the press box every Saturday or anything.
We have another tie for eighth at 14-17. Up first is Dylan “Can We Re-sign Aguayo?” Rudolph, who watched his Bucs lose on a missed game-winning 34-yard field goal in the office Sunday. We know inconsistent kicking must be frustrating, Dylan. Maybe it’s time to take a kicker in the first round instead? But hey, at least you still have the Rays.
Also in eighth is Zach “Reply All at 1 a.m.” Goodall, who decided his picks for this week were so good that he needed to share them with the group. In the middle of the night. It’s fine, Zach. It didn’t bother me. Just try to be a little more considerate of Edgar and Mark’s 9 p.m. bedtimes.
We have two pickers tied for last at 13-18. First is Brian “Agreed With Sam’s Column” Fox, who seemed to be one of a select few people on the internet that concurred with Sam’s condemnation of a two-quarterback system. Our advice: Stand down, Brian. Emory Jones slander doesn’t fly in the Twitter streets.
And finally, not alone in last place for the first time this season is Mari “Abandoned The Sports Section” Faiello. Mari selfishly decided to represent the J School at the Mock College Football Playoff Selection in Texas. Knowing full well that Thursdays before home games are the busiest it gets here at alligatorSports. SMH, Mari. SMH.
