We can learn a lot about the problematic illusion-making tendencies of the discourse on guns by analyzing a recent news story from Loganville, Ga.

You may have heard about it: A lady was hiding in her attic from a burglar with her two kids and her Saturday night special when he used a crowbar to bust in on them. So she did what she had to do. Next thing you know, the creeper with them two feets who came a-creepin’ like a black cat do is on the floor full of .38 holes.

There’s an important aspect of this story I need to draw attention to at this point because it perplexes the hell outta me: He didn’t mean to violently intrude upon this family.

The guy shows up knocking at the door, ostensibly to sell them some encyclopedias or crowbars or something.

No answer. So he rings the doorbell a bunch of times, and instead of answering the door or somehow asking him what he wants, they hide and call the cops!

Now that he’s satisfied that no one is home, he begins liberating the family’s belongings in the name of the proletariat. Like any good burglar, he’s thorough, working through every room in the house until he eventually reaches the attic.

He opens the door, and suddenly a relatively harmless cat burglary becomes a violent home invasion.

Those with a pro-gun stance paraded this story as an example of why passing gun control legislation would be worse for America than a gay marriage between President Barack Obama and Michael Moore held on the steps of the Capitol where both tuxedos are made entirely from marijuana and birth control pills.

Self-defense is a legitimate thing; there are certain human instincts that encourage self-preservation rather than lengthy reflection and discussion of motives.

Or as Lao Tzu so wisely wrote, “Shoot first, ask questions later.”

The problematic part of how this scenario played out is not what she did in the heat of that moment. I just want to know why she didn’t, you know, answer the door in the first place.

C’mon, you gotta at least open a window and ask the dude what he wants!

Obviously I’m not saying she deserved to have her house broken into.

You can try to justify her in hindsight by saying, “Well, he just got out of jail in August, and he’s been arrested six times since 2008, so she had a right to be scared of him.” But she couldn’t have known that!

Unless the news left out the part where he yelled about his time in Folsom or the fact that his T-shirt said, “Ask me about jail!” there wasn’t a real reason for her to be scared of him initially, other than the same reason she bought the gun in the first place.

She’s been so conditioned by the stories of murders and home invasions that populate the evening news that she immediately went into xenophobia-induced panic mode as soon as someone whose appearance was mildly threatening intruded into her comfort zone.

This lady is being rightfully praised as a hero for protecting her family in the face of danger.

From all appearances, this guy was trying to find an EMPTY house to break into. If she had initially responded proactively by confronting him when he was a random, annoying guy hanging around ringing the doorbell incessantly, there’s a nonzero chance he would’ve just made up some excuse and moved on.

Instead she acted in an inexplicably irrational and paranoid way. Now he’s badly wounded, maybe dying, and her kids had to watch their mother repeatedly shoot a man while he begged her, crying, to stop.

Maybe guns are good, maybe they’re bad, but this story should’ve never gotten to the point where they were involved.

Sometimes it’s easier to ask someone just what the hell they think they’re doing rather than wait for them to do it.

Dallin Kelson is an English senior at UF. His column runs on Mondays. You can conctact him via [email protected].

(134) comments


A crowbar, dear columnist, is a formidable weapon. In fact, I believe it falls within the 'deadly weapon' category. I would shoot someone who had broken into my house and then continued to come after me, breaking into doors with a crowbar. They wouldn't get that far in my case, but that's beside the point. Such a person sounds very dangerous, certainly if children are involved. And yes his criminal history supports my analysis. Maybe this will be a deterrent to the next person who thinks about violating the sanctity of someone's home.

If someone comes to my door at night and bangs on it unexpectedly, I likely am not going to say "Who is it?" People have a right to privacy and to be left alone. Anyone banging on your door unexpectedly in the middle of the night is probably not there for a GOOD reason, in case you don't have the sense to know that. If it is the fire department there to evacuate you, that should be fairly obvious (loudspeakers, etc.) Maybe she didn't want him to be able to figure out that it was a woman alone with two kids? Or didn't that occur to you? Dallin?? I see you are a boy? She had to go and get the gun out of her safe, therefore she wouldn't have had it to protect herself at that point. Good job blaming the victim. Thankfully she wasn't raped and/or murdered, so she's not as victimized as she might have been. I'm guessing you've never been the victim of a violent crime or you'd have a much different perspective. I'm sure she and the children will have trouble sleeping and some form of PTSD for years to come because of this psycho.

The guy got back in his SUV and drove away after being shot multiple times. The 'gun nuts' will point to this as proof that .38 caliber rounds are too weak for home defense. I tend to agree.


Romulan I don't think he was blaming the victim. He was instead pointing out the faults on both ends of the involved parties. Was this criminal in the wrong for breaking and entering with a weapon, of course. Was she justified in opening fire when an intruder entered the area she was in with her kids, of course. Are either of them blameless for the problems that follow this incident, no.This article to me seems to say that Dallin believes that the gun control debate isn't so simple as arguers act; it has faults on both sides and it's not as simple as "good for her she shot him" or "shame on her she shot him".


Mr. Kelson, congratulations on never living in a neighborhood wherein the unexpected appearance of an unknown adult male at your front door is legitimate cause for alarm.

Nice Skynyrd reference.

Make up your mind whether you want to claim the shooter is a heroine or an irresponsible dolt. You're advancing both arguments.

For me and a lot of other people, forced entry into a home is prima facie evidence that the entrant will commit violent felonies upon occupants of the house. Or, in plain English, "every motherfucker knows that if you bust into people's houses, you're gonna get shot."


This truly is an awful article. You're saying that the shooter was justified but in your eyes failed to do the proper thing of yelling at the intruder until he went away. If the woman had gone downstairs to send him away she would have been exposed to an attack. I don't know why you think someone who is breaking into someone's house can be so easily reasoned with to go away.


This is a terrible article. You need to go to some crim. classes first off where you will learn a 'crowbar" is in fact considered a deadly weapon. Any person who feels threatened doesnt have to let anyone on or into their personal property. Your language and opinion astounds me. Granted everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but you even contradict your own point through the article. So what are you trying to prove here, that the intruder is justified because he thought the house was empty? Are you unaware that that is still breaking and entering- a.k.a. an illegal act? That is a threat against the owner of the property and she is a woman. Why should she open a door for an unknown male? Absolutely Ludicrous. End of Story.


A tip of the fedora. Well written!


You sir, are an idiot. Suppose she had asked what he wanted, thereby exposing the fact, she was home and most likely alone or with children.

His intent was demonstrated by his actions. He may have at that point kicked the door in and overpowered her. We have one injury to a proven felon, it could have been three grisly murders and a mass killer on the loose.

Last I heard he is dying, good riddance.

Jeremiah Tattersall
Jeremiah Tattersall

You're sophomoric understanding of class, race, crime, and violence makes me sad. Your column reads like a South Park episode.


Dallon Kelson, you really could not be more stupid. This is the dumbest article I have ever read. My brain hurts for reading this.


It really is sad that an "educated adult" has this viewpoint. Your degree should be withheld just for the lack of understanding of the world made evident in this article. I would love to see how you would have reacted in a similar situation, especially if you were responsible for the safety of another human being, particularly a child. Pathetic, simply pathetic.

Dagney T

It's so hard do know where to begin, you igit! First, read the book, More Guns Less Crime. Second, when someone breaks into your personal, private, locked house, operative words "breaks in," they are not meaning you well intentions. Third, as a woman I don not open doors for strange men either, you a$$! Fourth, her only mistake was that she missed him with the 6th bullet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Great. Another brainless English major. There is not a chance in hell that you did not vote for Obama. Mindless, left-wing idiot supporting victim disarmament. Post your address wi a sign indicting your home is not armed. COLLEGE STUDENT dumba$$ of the year.


Normally in my responses to articles, I try to be respectful of fellow writers. Not so here. You're a moron. You are the type of person who should not be allowed to vote on issues of gun control because you clearly do not understand them and are a willfully ininformed voter.

Are you really suggesting that she should have opened the door to someone neither she nor her husband knew? That she should have asked him his intentions instead of shooting him before he could hurt them, as was clearly his intention? If you had read the police report at all, you would know that even the police declared that the man had violent intentions.

Thank god we are talking about a woman and two children who survived as opposed to a devastated husband and father now widowed and childless because a criminal killed his entire family.

I can't even believe that this article is genuine. And one last thing: How dare you suggest that lawful gun owners are anything but exactly that, lawful. My gun served me well when a man attempted to carjack me, and it served me well when I worked (often alone and after dark) in the crime-ridden section of Downtown Atlanta.

Mike w

I think this columnist is being sarcastic. Very subtle.

I refuse to believe a senior in college is that stupid. I will give this person the benefit of the doubt and assume thath he (she) is practicing a nuanced sarcasm.


Thanks to 8 out of the last 9 comments, i don't need to say anything other than.... You sir,are a DUMBASS!


This article was the biggest joke I've ever read. He just said she was wrong for not answering the door for a robber. Wow. Yes, she didn't know he was a robber at the time, but obviously she had a good idea that his desires weren't good or she would've opened the door. She sat in the attic and listened to a man robbing her while calling the cops. She could've went out and shot him at any point and time. Instead, she hid in the attic hoping he would never find her. She wasn't trying to shoot the guy for stealing....obviously she was willing to let him finish the theft! Instead, she was shooting herself for protection and thank god she did.

I hope one day your wife and kids or mother isn't at home alone while being robbed without a gun. Then, maybe you'll appreciate the right to defend your home and family. God bless this woman.

Bess Brown
Bess Brown

Mr. Kelson, please test your brilliant theories on crime prevention by subjecting yourself to a home invasion and practicing what you preach, and telling us the results if you're still alive afterward. You are clearly unqualified to have your naive and dangerous opinions published. Shame on the Agitator for wasting perfectly good birdcage liner material on your foolish rant. I can only hope for your sake it was meant as parody, or you lost a bet, because you are completely unprepared for the real world that awaits you upon graduation.



You could not be more of a idiot. 1. This man knew people were in the home. 2. If he had just kept his ass out of her house the incident would not have happened. Don't try to turn this around on her. It is just too bad she did not have a 12 gauge.

If you are an example of the University graduate no wonder were in the mess we are in.


Im sure that if he was "selling something" as you so ignorantly put it, then he would of left when no one answered the door..No, instead he chose to break into her home. Too bad he survived but she filled his ass with lead and good for her. You are the typical Liberal Obama voter, and people like you are allowed to vote which is why this country is headed to hell!! Let someone break into my house, they will get an ass full of lead too just like this creeper got. You, Mr. kelson are a complete idiot!!By the way, neal boortz blasted you on his show this morning, you deserve all the backlash you get.


You sir are an idiot. Most of the other comments properly lay out the case for your stupidity, I simply wanted to say that I agree with Neal Boortz in that I hope one day as you or your significant 'other' cower at the feet of an armed home invader (and you lack a weapon with which to fight back) you will pause for a moment to reflect on your foolish attempt to assume moral superiority in your article.


Dallin Kelson, YOU ARE AN IDIOT!!! As a stay at home Mom for many years, there are numerous times I have not answered the door when strangers appear!! I do not put myself or my family in compromising positions if I can help it. If I don't know you, or you aren't a Girl Scout or local high school student asking for support, and I do not know you, the person on the other side of my closed door is not welcome. Our home is our refuge and it is our perogative to not answer the door if we don't want to!! This guy had every intention of hurting this family...he saw the child run up the steps, and he then proceeded to hunt them down, breaking doors down to get to them!! I am glad she had a gun and shot this predator, just too bad she didn't finish him off!! That would save the taxpayers a lot of money. They are paying for keeping this thug on life support, and then if he pulls through having to pay for the trial, then support his butt in prison!! Oh, and by the way, if a predator comes in our home, he will be shot on the spot!! I hope you never have to deal with a situation which requires you to defend yourself or a loved one, we all know how that will work out. You will be on the losing end!! Man, you are stupid!! I can't wait to read more of your liberal rants!


I actually live less than 1 mile from where this happened. The local police said that the man heard her talking to someone and knew she was in the house. If he was intent on no harm, he would have left them. But instead he hunted her down, and I think we all know it wasn't to apologize for his actions.

Southern Patriot

#1 it was not his house, and he shouldn't be "breaking in".
#2 You seem to assume harmless intent from a criminal.
#3 he was NOT INVITED!
#4 when someone breaks into a home, it is not normal to assume he means no harm.
He knew someone was home from what I've read from the Police.

If it happens to my home, I will choose when to answer the door. It is my home, and my decision.

In my opinion, she gave him opportunity to leave. In the state where I leave, it is LAW (not liberal justice) that states I can assume intent to harm once they start breaking in.

If I'm home with my family, and someone starts to break in and I'm aware of it, as in this story....I promise I won't run to the closet. I will sacrifce the door to stop the instruder....thru the door.

If she would have "simply answer the door", he could have overpowered her, and possible raped, kidnapped, or killed the home owners.

When you have a family, maybe you will gain some common sense.



The only way anyone like you would ever understand this woman's thought process is to be placed in her situation. Unfortunately, your approach to the problem at hand would probably not allow you to reflect back on how your ultra liberal ideas really just don't work in the real world. CRIMINALS BEWARE OF WALTON COUNTY, GEORGIA. WE HAVE GUNS HERE AND AREN'T AFRAID TO USE THEM.


Are you serious! You can't really be this stupid. Do you understand what kind of mindless nonsense you have wrote here. Please let everyone know that you are just kidding. I hate to see someone's thoughts mistaken for insanity. This is reversible, if you can just clarify what you really meant.


Been flagged for calling a spade a spade. Hmmm. Not quite sure who to blame for this article, really. The Dummy who wrote it or the idiot who put it in the paper. [unsure]


I realize that idiocy has completely run rampant in this great country of ours... but really? I mean REALLY? I suppose you are also of the mind that rape victims brought it on themselves by merely having a vagina. Bravo. Congrats. You have successfully demonstrated why the future of our country is in great peril when it will be in the hands of your generation.

Clearly you are a complete and total waste of oxygen and it saddens me that you are a representative of the University of Florida's education system. I feel sad for all of the mindless readers who will ever come across your future articles and believe and/or agree with your points.

To anyone of a management/editorial position at the Alligator: how on earth could you have allowed such scum fly in your publication? This person should be fired.


Wow, Dallon you are a special kind of stupid! ! What an idiot !!


Mr. Kelson, you sir are disgusting on a level that defies description, though I intend to try. Let's look past your assertion that this woman would have been better off opening the door to her burglar, because I think even you must know somewhere in your perverted consciousness how foolish that sounds. Instead, lets talk about a "relatively harmless cat burglary." You seem to repeatedly make the assertion that there is no wrong in this man's burglary, that anyone breaking into another's home to "liberate the family's belonging" like "any good burlgar" is just minding his own business. Yes, you say you're not saying she deserved to have her home broken into, but you sure seem to think the guy doing it deserved to get away with it. After all, it's just stuff, right? WRONG! When someone goes to work and earns money to buy things, that is a magic ritual of transmutation wherein someone turns their energy and a portion of their lifetime (a universally limited supply) into the things they need to live, thrive, and be comfortable. For another to take that by force is a violation that is all too often downplayed in today's society. Especially by whiny little creeps like YOU. Did this man have the right to take a portion of this woman's life (and possibly the whole thing) unmolested? No. Did she have the right to protect her belongings just as much as she did to protect herself and her children? Absolutely. The fact that you would state otherwise, reflects nothing about the story, society, or morality, but illuminates very clearly the depths of your own twisted depravity. I'm not saying this to insult you (okay, maybe a little), or to get under your skin. I'm saying this because you, Mr. Kelson, really need to reexamine yourself as a person and how you could possibly skew your vision of reality so obliquely as to see nothing at all.


Mr Kelson, as an English major, you should be utterly embarrassed by this post. As a human being, you should be utterly embarrassed by this post. There are too many grammatical errors to point out and your editor should be fired. However, I'm going to focus on the human being aspect as your main issue. You certainly sound like to know-it-all college kid. But I won't bash you for that at all as I once walked in your shoes. Once you get out of school and into the real world, your views tend to change. Yes, in college, everyone is free of (most) responsibility...hanging out in the quad singing Kumbaya and sampling the latest batch of PGA punch. Once you are out, you work for a living, pay taxes, get your own place, buy stuff, enter a relationship, get a dog, maybe have a kid of your own. Once you are responsible for your life, you don't appreciate thugs knocking on your door for any reason...much less one carrying a crowbar looking for someone to rob. Mainly because you don't want your loved ones harmed and you don't want said thug taking your shit...that you worked so hard for during your real world career working 60 hours per week. Once you cross that bridge, I hope you hope you are never faced with the situation the woman in Loganville encountered. But if you do, I hope you are smart enough to not answer the damn door. If the thug breaks in, you better have a gun in your hand if you want to live...because if you think for one minute he won't harm you (or your loved ones), you are sadly mistaken...and may end up paying for your liberal views with your life. Time to grow up Dallin...


As far as the kids watching, now they know what to do when a dirt bag shows up at your door! That's what a good Mom does ! She's my kind of hero ! Guess what Dallin if more people reacted this way we would have less dirt bags not more!


Are college professors subject to drug testing?


What an incredibly evil moron. Thus could you also justify invading another country, just because nobody shot back as your tanks rolled over the border. UF is certainly not well served by allowing idiots of this magnitude to broadcast their jejune ignorance for all to see and marvel at.

Armored Kantus

It is painfully obvious that you are a total fool & have lived a very sheltered life under mommy & daddy's protection. I can't imagine a more useless person to the world than an English Major.
It figures that a useless fool would write an article like this. But at least you used good grammer because that is about all you are good for.
No citizen has any obligation to a home invader to ask what theire intentions are you dipshit. It's called the castle doctrine, look into it stupid.
Military training and combat experience taught me to fire until the threat is eliminated, police training is the same. If you wait to confirm the intentions of the threat in front of you, you become dead, period. You should really do some more research before you open your mouth and berate a woman who protected her home & family from some common criminal.
I just hope that I happen to be around you when you are getting mugged or worse, so I can unholster my weapon, "ask the dude what he wants" and then safe my weapon, reholster it and continue on my way.


If it is a case of collegial sarcasm, it's a rather bad job of it.
The whole idea of playing devil's advocate is to create sympathy for the Devil, not contempt for one's own self.


This article has to be satire! Surely no one is that STUPID! But then again, a lot of stupid people reelected this hack president we have. [sad]

I just listened to Neal Boortz Rip ol' Dallin a new one on national radio! Good stuff! [smile]

If this article is serious, I pity this poor fool!


This column was moronic enough to receive mention on the Neal Boortz Show. Congratulations!


Ah, I see you are a starry eyed "activist" with ZERO life experience or any facts. Or perhaps the more plausable explanation is you are just another obtuse liberal communist with an agenda to push regardlesss of the facts. I realize you feel the criminal scum was the victim in this and the woman and her children should have become chalk outlines as he beat and raped them to death.

Your ignorance is typical of an average democrat voter. Do you think this garbage you have tried to pass of as "journalism" will land you some job in with the communist propaganda machine so you can pay off your obviously wasted student loans?


What an idiot. Why don't you have your address published in this thread so we can all make sure the bad guys know where you live.

This women or any other person owes NOBODY a fair fist fight. Further, this home is an extension of her person. She had every right to blow this guy away the minute he entered the house, with or without a crowbar. He had no no implicit or explicit permission to invade her home and person. He was lucky she retreated. As she had no other place to retreat to, she did what a responsible person should do. Defend herself.

If he had done this to my metro Atlanta home, the dog would rip him up before I shot him. Should the dog ask him if he was there to merely rob the place?

So what if he was looking for an empty house. What if she came home and he was there. Would he have said "so sorry, I must stop my robbing now that your here"?

Perhaps her biggest failure was that she didn't have a semi-automatic pistol used much earlier with all 17 rounds in the clip.

You are an embarrassment to current and past UF students (including myself.)


As a Gator, I want to apologize for this absolutely mindless piece of trash that wrote this article!!! PLEASE do NOT associate ANY other Gators with this moron!! He will be run off campus by the typical intelligent Gator or any other human being with a brain the size of a BB.
By the way Dallin, if he was just selling encyclopedias and nobody answered the door, then he should have just moved on.
You are an embarrassment and a disgrace to human life.


Oh Dallin, Dallin, Dallin...you are something straight out of Central Casting for the "Wizard of Oz" - oh "Scarecrow" if you only had a brain...you'd be dangerous. Oh wait; you are already dangerous presuming you know exactly how to orchestrate life according to your own personal formula.

I live in the real world where people do bad things to nice people. They murder, torture and maim innocents because they can and for no other reason. If this criminal, felon, thief meant no harm he should have never broken into this mom’s sanctuary, i.e. her home. Maybe you never had one, but it should be the one place you are SAFE. She clearly wasn’t. This was a home invasion. Not a knock on the door and she had the right to defend herself and her children. Too bad he wasn’t “DRT.” Shame on you and all of your sanctimonious, self righteousness. Too bad it wasn’t your home because I suspect you would never have written this ludicrous drivel about the world according to Dallin.

Come join us in the world of reality you may actually be enlightened…though I rather doubt it. Sadly I think the days of acquiring a brain have passed their sell by date.


As a woman and a mother, I would never answer a door to a stranger. Without my .38 loaded and in my hand, that is. Selling something, my ass. His intent was obvious. She is a hero. I hope the perp is in an intense amount of pain. The courts obviously aren't making life painful enough for him.


Hey Kelson, if anyone comes beating on my door with a crowbar in hand, he better have made out his will. I served in the US Army to protect this country and people like you, and I will protect what belongs to me. I WILL deal with a threat. Go ahead and write your BS, it is a free country.


At some point, a potential employer is going to google “Dallin Kelson” and find this article. He’s then going to come to the conclusion that Mr. Kelson if far too stupid to seriously consider hiring.


Not a chance this is real.

It is just bad satire. He is trying to take a hyperbolic stance on the opposite side of what he believes in. Once this position is destroyed he can then compare it to the less radical positions which still lack reasonable thought.

If this is not the case then, I agree, I am ashamed to have graduated from this institution.


Dallin, I understand you are in your senior year as an English major at UF.

Considering the logic you used to develop your article, I think it is appropriate for you to ask UF for a tuition refund.

If UF refuses your refund request, take them to court to recover room and board in addition to your tuition costs. If I were on the jury, I certainly would agree you wasted all of your time and money attending UF as your article lacks critical thinking and common sense. I am sure if you just submit this article as Exhibit 1 in your case against UF, you would easily prevail.

Instead of squandering your tuition refund on hookers and blow, I encourage you to use the money to finance a move to live in Atlanta’s inner city. Develop “street smarts” and some level of common sense by spending time in pool halls and at bus stops flashing a wad of cash. Search for people with the same criminal background as the man who broke into this women’s house. Perhaps then you will understand the flaws in your point of view and the errors of your beliefs. Not always, but sometimes it is possible to just look at a guy and know his intentions are not good.


In my previous post, I talked about your lack of common sense and critical thinking. Just in case you don’t know the difference, I wanted to provide this to you…

Common sense is innate rational thinking that occurs organically in rational humans. Common sense involves thinking and problem-solving skills developed from intuition, natural logic and the human ability to observe events and absorb information and lessons from them. These observations allow you to learn from experience and thus to hone and implement sound judgment. You use common sense to approach and attempt to solve problems in day-to-day life. Every human being gains and uses common sense to apply impartial, unbiased and responsible logical decisions.

Critical thinking occurs when a person deliberately examines a situation based on his own knowledge and philosophies. Critical thinking involves judging a situation based on studied reasoning, where the person intentionally and consciously focuses on a subject. The quality of critical thinking is based on how sound the eventual judgment of a situation is. Critical thinking allows for planning, calculating, investigating and explaining; you use it for situations that require a larger of concentration and deliberation.


Mr. Kelson, you are an idiot. That's about all I can say without losing my cool with someone that is this stupid.
You, and others like you are the BIGGEST problem with this country. I am willing to bet that you work in a building with security guards and live in a gated community. You seem to have NO grasp of how the real world is. What an idiot.


What kind of garbage reasoning is this? This is the most moronic and delusional thought process, or lack thereof. Someone was BREAKING INTO HER HOUSE. It is indeed safer for her to not confront the burglar. What she did is the smartest thing you could do. Hide, call the police, and arm yourself. If she would have opened a door, don't you think it would have been easier for the burglar to forcibly gain entry? It's like inviting someone in to harm your family. "I am going to assume you are just here to take the TV, come on in. I know you wont hurt me or my children". You sir, are a piece of work, and this article is trash. Another sad example of liberal higher education polluting the minds of young adults. Good luck in the real world.


You got a lot of reading to do so I will make it quick. You sir, are an idiot. May your significant other never have to encounter this type of invasion, but you should. You should live the fear of someone hunting you down in your own home to do harm to you. You should experience exactly what this woman had to do to protect herself and her children, but I hope you do not have a gun or any type of weapon to defend yourself. Then ask him if his encyclopedias are on sale today, you should have at least one last question before he puts your lights out for good.



One other thing, either this writer is TOTAL COMPLETE MORON - or he is a genius of sorts - In the second paragraph, he states that the intruder " meant no harm to the occupants of the home" - HE IS A MINDREADER !!!! WHAT A GUY - THIS AUTHOR KNOWS WHAT PEOPLE ARE THINKING !!!! ....This is a whole new career for him - forget the degree in English - he can go "on the road" with a successful career AS A MINDREADER !!!!


@Tammy -

Very nice subtle, nah, outright racism.

Keep it classy.


As a reporter, you neglected one very basic part of the police report. The lady of the house and both of her daughters were screaming at the guy to go away as he broke through the door and walked through their home. The husband/father could hear them doing that as he relayed the situation to 911 while he raced homeward. The intruder KNEW the woman and children were there. He KNEW they wanted him to leave. And yet, he somehow felt it necessary to hunt for them, tracking down the source of the female voices yelling, "GO AWAY," and try to open the concealing door, to what? See them more clearly? Talk reason into them? Ask for their online info so he could friend them on facebook? There were NINE YEAR OLD GIRLS in this incident. No matter WHAT his intentions were, you do NOT MESS WITH A MAMA!
Shame on you for skipping part of the story. And shame on your publisher for not catching that.

Rags Danneskjold
Rags Danneskjold

You must be a football or basketball player otherwise why the hell would someone as stupid,illiterate and illogical as you be a) going to college, and b) still in college as an "English Major." Unless you can dunk or run fast, you had better watch your back, because the administration will be looking for you soon for embarrassing them.

Thanks. We are all a little dumber after having read your "article".


This guy is nuts. I'm a single mother of two and as a precaution I have NEVER opened my door to someone I did not know nor have I yelled out to ask what they want. If he had wanted to rape or kill her opening the door would have been as good as inviting him in. Man got what he deserved. You would think stories like this would deter some criminals but I doubt it. And the guy that wrote this article needs to have his head examined.


It is not "racism" at all - it is FACT - plain and simple.....Every time a black person hears something they do not like they boo-hoo cry '"racism" - baloney !!!!!....Nice try, no racism here pal


Are you stupid or something?


What a brilliant piece of satire! You have all of those people that can't tell the difference between real things and fake things swearing you are an absolute moron. Of course you are playing on the emotions of those particular readers to get a rise out of them, but certain people deserve to be heckled like this because they will ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE SERIOUS.

You have people claiming that they are a "mother of two" and stating that you have "neglected one very basic part of the police report" among other things. NO SHIT. How can people participate in a gun debate, nay, any debate, with someone who is clearly manipulating them to say exactly what he wants them to say? They can't. Again, great piece.


Apparently you'e never heard of a home invasion. You UNLOCK and answer the door and they kick it in on you. But hey, let's not talk hypotheticals, let's talk what really happened, OK? The part that you either didn't learn from the Johnny Come Lately mainstream media coverage of the incident or just didn't want to know. First, he didn't just come to the door, he came to a WINDOW. Do tell, what kind of salesman does that? The woman watched him walk away after ringing the doorbell, get something, and come back. What kind of salesman does that? So, hey, let's just forget all about your ignorance of home invasions. What this woman saw was plenty to let her know the guy was up to no good. She had no business opening that door. http://www.wsbtv.com/news/news/local/woman-hiding-kids-shoots-intruder/nTm7s/


Amus's husband: you are giving him FAR too much credit. This is typical of the gun ban crowd.


Question: why are there very few arguments for gun control in the comments?


hushandof samus - I question your intellect here ! This is no "satire" - this is a gun control NUT who thinks this stupid article will sway people to believe like he does.....


Well this piece is complete garbage. After Neal brought this trash up, I decided to look into it myself and I'm appalled that millions of dollars come out of your fellow Floridians' pocket to pay for your public education. This kind of moronic, illogical thinking permeates through liberals and it's destroying this country.

Your attempt to diminish what this woman did is disgusting and stands against everything this country was built on. She STOOD UP for herself, her children, and her home. What kind of encyclopedia salesman comes to the door with a crowbar? If it weren't for the Second Amendment this woman's children could have witnessed something much more traumatic. You, your editor, and anyone associated with the University of Florida should be embarrassed by this piece.

- Rush


Who are YOU to question MY intellect? Credentials please, or I will believe that you are a poser. This is clearly a satire. You have classified the author as a "gun control NUT" and provided no rationale for such.

Carl Wesley Clark
Carl Wesley Clark

Sir, you are a moron.


Dallin Kelson this is America... So I support and defend Your right to voice Your opinion no matter how incredibly stupid it is. But c'mon man, in all reality You cannot be this ignorant. And yes there is a difference between stupidity and ignorance. (You're an English Major look it up) The only saving grace that I can come up with in response to Your feebleminded comments is this... I pray that this is a vain attempt (as part of a College Thesis) to illicit a visceral response from people who normally show reserve. And by doing this maybe You think You'll increase the papers (as well as Your columns) readership. But the editors wouldn't callously stoop this way would they? 0r better yet... maybe it's an attempt to show that no matter how ridiculous a published statement may be there is always some moronic liberal out there who will agree. 0ne can only hope. ~Sad but True~



She STOOD UP for herself by cowering in the corner of her attic? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?!? She could have told the children to hide, but instead she went and hid with them like the coward that she was. If she would have shown the crowbar master just a little bit of kajungas, or a butcher knife, there's no way the guy would have even thought about breaking into her home. The Second Amendment has been taken hostage by the same wacky group of NRA coup-de-etaters that took over the organization in Cincinnati a long time ago. Until then, the NRA was a SPORTING ORGANIZATION. Then it became a monster. Before Cincinnati, there were no gun debates, but there were murders with all types of weapons. Guns are OUT OF CONTROL in America, period.

You are such a great person of character yourself. Your pitiful attempt to purchase the St. Louis Rams failed miserably because you are the very picture of what is wrong with America. I don't believe extremist right-wingers have any right talking about "logic." What a tool.


All you people commenting hate on here are pathetic. Let me clarify a few things here for you less than intellectual blow horns. Dallin is not black, did not vote for Obama, and he isn't a gun control NUT. I am a friend of this man and I can tell you that we are getting more than a laugh at all you sad, confused people who think that it is worth your time to come here and not comment on the article, but make ridiculous assertions about the columnist. Also It's clear that the majority of you are spoon fed by Neal Boortz and because he had something to say, you think you have something worthwhile to say(most of you don't by the way). I don't know if I can say it enough, you people are PATHETIC.
You act big and bad over the internet. You make promises about what you'd do if this situation happened to you, what you want to do to Dallin and so on and all it does is make you seem like a die-hard jackass who can't read someone else's opinion without getting teary eyed and preaching about how ignorant someone else is because of your own misunderstanding.


How people forget. You are the same Rush Limbaugh that criticized Donovan McNabb because he was the hope of black quarterbacks in the NFL:


Just who is that speaking, Rush? Who?



You couldn't be more right about the Loganville woman. That poor ex-con deserves to still be out and about, breaking into empty homes he sees fit. Shame on that lady for jumping the gun and killing a proletariat, working stiff, criminal. Everyone deserves a 7th chance. And 8th, 9th, 10th...

It was absolutely his right as an American to not be shot for breaking in and robbing that family blind. And God knows if she had just simply answered the door, he clearly would have left her, her 2 kids and her house alone, and moved on to the next house like you said and like any person with common sense breaking the law would. We lost a good man when she mercilessly killed him in cold blood, and I just thank God we have patriots such as yourself and the fine English professors at UF to remind us that we are all in this together, and sometimes one must think like a criminal in order to protect the criminal's life. Just put yourself in the criminal's shoes!

Bravo Dallin Kelson, on a well-researched article - convincing and unbiased. And thank you for your brilliant insight on the issue of breaking and entering, as well as your vast knowledge concerning gun violence. I see a bright future for you on your knees before our mighty Barack.

All the best and In Obama We Trust,

Timothy Aldridge


Sir, you are dishonest. There is more to the story than you report, and you know it, or you are a terrible "journalist."


See, this is the ultimate problem with discussing gun control in America. A little over half of the country is moronic enough to think that the Second Amendment means they have the right to carry any gun, anywhere, any time, and use it as they see fit. A smaller percentage thinks that there should be some sort of control (ARs, grenade launchers, automatic shotguns, etc), while ~40 percent of us think that there should be a total overhaul of our current system. It's very obviously flawed.

And to all of the people posting about how the writer is black (and/or racist), doesn't know what a home invasion feels like, or asserting that the writer himself would have acted similarly, you look foolish. If the woman had a .38 in her home, why did she cower from someone with a *crowbar*? Wouldn't a logically-thinking person open the door *with* the gun on her person? Wouldn't you go to the door or window and tell the person that you just called the cops and you are armed? Instead, she hid in the attic and waited for him to get to her and shot him. 5 times. After unloading her gun, she "ordered the man to lie still."

All of these comments are digressions from the actual article. It is blatantly obvious that this guy is taking a comical approach to a serious, pertinent issue facing Americans. The article doesn't assert an opinion one way or the other, it simply proposes an alternative to how she reacted. All of these comments are reactions to something a conservative pundit told you to feel and what to think.

Guess what? People are shot and killed defending their homes, breaking into others' homes, and walking down the sidewalk everyday in America. To the tune of ~35 fold over any other developed nation. That signifies a problem. Maybe if you guys all stopped pretending Obama is a Muslim who was born in Kenya, is actually the anti-Christ, and wants to disarm his citizens and turn America into Maoist China or Hitler's Germany, productive things can actually occur in Washington. Until then, we all get to laugh and point at the Tea Party and the right wingers.


So, lets see.... according to you, if I am home alone with my children and a man comes to the door that I do not know when I am not expecting anything, I should just open the door and see what he wants. If he plans on robbing my home, he will make an excuse and leave. Guess what? That is how women get raped for one. A woman home alone with our without children, should not open the door to a stranger. Second, this man heard the children running upstairs. He heard her talking to her husband on the phone. If he meant to only rob her home, he would have taken off right away. Instead he chose to go upstairs and find them. You don't think he meant any ill harm? Let's put your mother, sister, girlfriend or wife in that situation. Do you think they should take your advice if some guys comes up to their home when they are alone? You sir, are ignorant. Nobody wants to have to pull that trigger to defend themselves, but if I am ever in that same situation, I sure plan to try to defend myself and my family just the same as she had to do.



You couldn't be more right about the Loganville woman. That poor ex-con deserves to still be out and about, breaking into empty homes he sees fit. Shame on that lady for jumping the gun and killing a proletariat, working stiff, criminal. Everyone deserves a 7th chance. And 8th, 9th, 10th...

It was absolutely his right as an American to not be shot for breaking in and robbing that family blind. And God knows if she had just simply answered the door, he clearly would have left her, her 2 kids and her house alone, and moved on to the next house like you said and like any person with common sense breaking the law would. We lost a good man when she mercilessly killed him in cold blood, and I just thank God we have patriots such as yourself and the fine English professors at UF to remind us that we are all in this together, and sometimes one must think like a criminal in order to protect the criminal's life. Just put yourself in the criminal's shoes!

Bravo Dallin Kelson, on a well-researched article - convincing and unbiased. And thank you for your brilliant insight on the issue of breaking and entering, as well as your vast knowledge concerning gun violence. I see a bright future for you on your knees before our mighty Barack.

All the best and In Obama We Trust,

Timothy Aldridge


Oh honey baby, you can't "He didn’t mean to violently intrude upon this family" and use a crowbar to try to pry open the door where the family is hiding. What do you think he's really doing there with that crowbar? Did he suddenly get a Jones for some homemade cookies?

Seriously, I would LOVE to know how you can defend him against a woman protecting herself and her children.

I just realize that you're going to be one of the future leaders of this country and my future lies in your hands. That's scary.


This is either brilliant satire of the stupidest thing I've ever read.


Always, always always look at the author of these pieces before you read too far. Why?

He's on the right.


The fool who wrote this column is living proof of the real definition of gun control.

"Gun control is the notion that a woman found in an alley raped and strangled with her own pantyhose is somehow morally superior to a woman explaining to police how her attacker got that fatal bullet wound."


This is what this lady could have looked forward to. This man knew there was someone home. And the tool who wrote this article has absolutely no clue.


I fail to see what a picture of the author from high school has to do with anything, but expecting intelligent comments in this thread seems fairly useless


Are you fucking high?


Mr. Kelson -

If the quality of your writing and thinking is an indicator of the current level of academic rigor at the University of Florida, I fear for my alma mater.

c/o '93.


Your article is bad, and you should feel bad.


I am so embarrassed to be an alumnus when I read this kind of attention-seeking article. Someone was killed,. Serious stuff to be hijacked to your ego here. Anyway, if someone commits the crime to enter someone's house, assumption by the home owner that he only has a crowbar because that's all she MAY have seen is a crime of stupidity. Which, come to think of it, is really this whole article. A crime of stupidity from some ivory tower thinker, at best, and an attention-seeker, at worst.


Be warned, If you break into a door of my house, your head will be gone. There will be no warning and you WILL be aware of nothing as your lifeless body pours out blood as your heart will not be aware that there is no longer anybody home at YOUR house anymore.
In fact, your permanent address will change to a very small apartment 6 feed under. I guarantee that no one will ever break YOUR door in again.

You may not believe in Capital Punishment, but breaking in a door IS a violent act. ALL CRIMINALS must be on notice that if you perform a violent crime, you willfully forfeit your life. Period, no questions asked.

BTW... If you don't want to face the consequences, don't do the crime. There is always a line that you willfully cross, and you take responsibility for the consequences of crossing that line.

It's called "Responsibility" and it's about time that our society starts EXPECTING every member to take responsibility for themselves and their actions.


This starts strong, but the satire becomes incoherent about two thirds of the way through. I would suggest revising it for a better grade. Good first draft, grade C- until further work is done.

Joe Mama

Mr. Kelson, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone on this page is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Joe Mama

P.S. - Oh, an English major. You'll go far.


This is one the most ridiculous things I have ever read. Let's just say that the woman was hiding in someone else's attic and they opened the door to put their fake Christmas Tree away and she just shot them in the face. You're trying to turn this around on the gun owner for some frigging reason, probably because you're a left wing moonbat. Please don't write anymore unless you'd like to start adhering to logic and common sense. Which might be impossible if you're a liberal.


Jesus was a socialist - you are a complete NUT - ...!!!!

There is an old adage, "Stay quiet and let people think you are a fool, keep talking and you will prove you are a fool" Your post is so stupid, you have certainly convinced readers here that you ARE A FOOL:....keep posting !!!


Judging by the author's Twitter feed, I'm inclined to assume that this article is not satire. He appears to cast his lot in with the 'anti-corporatist' 99% crowd (which, of course we all know, skew to the left).

That said, I'm not really sure how else the author would have liked this to go down? If I (or many others I know) were in the shoes of the mother, we would have hid our kids in the closet, called the police, and then simply waited at a 45' angle behind the door with a shotgun for it to open. Once he busts through the door, it would be one and done, the cops would just come clean up the mess. Castle Doctrine is a beautiful thing in Florida -- Criminals don't want to die? Stay out of other folks' houses.


Jaradyte - this is NOT A SATIRE - I just called the newspaper - and they said this is the writer's OPINION !!!!! I told you so .....


I think we the people should be allowed to vote Journalists off of the web. Somehow.


Tammy I think you have forgotten the oldest adage, "Using an old adage doesn't make you seem intelligent at all."
How can you call JesusWasASocialist a fool? His comment was much more intellectual, thought-out, and showed a command of the written english language I think you would have a hard time even scratching the surface of.


You can tell from the illogical nature of the author that he is an Obama voter and one of those idiots that blamed George Zimmerman for shooting TM.


Jesuswas .......Would you kindly post a link to the picture of this person - i can just IMAGINE what he looks like - (I'll bet he's got all the girls - .....NOT!!!!)


shmeg - your postings are as rambling and incoherent as dallin's article and jwas's posts -

btw, I saw your buddy's pic - Dallin - and he looks exactly like I thought he would - a sad, pathetic, person- who was always on the outs in school ......don't even try to answer me - I have had a hugely successful life and career.....You 3 that I referred to will always be on the fringes - always be the "lesser" crowd ....do not try to exchange barbs with me - I know EXACTLY WHO YOU PEOPLE ARE - I am not saying this to be mean - I am saying this because it is true .......

Paul Cotter

Mr. Kelson, a few honest, serious questions for you, with no disparagement meant:
What kind of neighborhood did you grow up in- rural, suburban, or urban? What was the crime rate in those areas? Do you know anyone who has been the victim of a rape, shooting, or home invasion? Are you a parent? What kind of shape are you in?

My theory is you grew up in a suburban area with a relatively low crime rate, have not lived in any area with a significant amount of violent crime, have not had a friend, neighbor, or family member who has been a victim of violent crime, are in your early twenties without children and are in reasonable shape to feel that you are able to confront a possible burglar so that he thinks the pickings would be better off somewhere else.

Questions that you may have wanted to ask about the woman prior to writing this article:
All of the questions I asked you, as well as- If he had rushed her at the door while she was asking him what he was doing, was the woman of a parity in size and strength to the burglar as to fend off the attack, or highly practiced enough with the weapon to be able to get it up in time to shoot him (it takes extensive practice and familiarity with a firearm to be able to draw or raise and fire at a person at under seven yards distance when said person is rushing at you)?, what kind of neighbor hood were they currently living in? Had there been recent burglaries or home invasions in the area?

If you plan a post-collegiate career as a journalist, questions like the above might be an important thought before one decides to publish


Why on Earth should anyone have to answer the door to a stranger? Are you insane or just a moron? The door to my home is for my convenience, not yours.


I would like to answer that question - he is a MORON and INSANE......


Tammy let see if I can even begin to adequately convey my thoughts about you and your comments. I'll a do some pop culture so I know you'll be able to keep up. Surely you've seen the smash hit "Les Miserables". I whole heartedly view you as viewers of Les Mis view Fantine, I pity you so much. You are the epitome of pathetic, the pinnacle of disgusting, and without a doubt the mindset that will drive America directly to hell. You think I give one explicative about how "hugely successful" your life and career are? Not just no, but hell no lol. It obviously isn't that great if you are on a small city newspaper opinion article comment section going blow for blow with college students?! Do you realize how unsuccessful, unprofessional, and undesirable your "hugely successful" life appears now? List of people who are an actual huge success: Donald Trump, Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, Jay Z, Kanye West, Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise, Peyton Manning, Michael Jordan. How many of those people take the time out of their lives to post on what may be one of the smallest comment sections on the internet? None! So buddy keep your all-knowing, unintelligent comments to yourself because you have no idea about of what you speak.....Also as a side note your grammar is awful, who could be successful with so many failed attempts at ellipses.

Paul Cotter

shmeag, who a person is defines how they approach a topic, and also where there blind spots on a topic are. The goal of everyone, especially those who want to be journalists, is to identify those blindspots and bias, and then purposefully come at the topic from those angle. That is what critical thought is.

Bye the Bye, My name is Paul Cotter, and I live in Hampton, Virginia. So much for anonymity.


This is possibly the most utterly sexy and downright mind numbingly erotic thing i have ever read. Shmeag i wish to meet you in RL. please contact me. My Sharingan powers will allow me to find you when the time is right. May our lord and savior bless this column and come on the clouds with fire in jubilation.


This guy is missing the point all together! Its simple....break into my house and put my family in harms way, then you are simply asking to be shot! Fact is, he had every intention of breaking the law one way or the other. The woman hid, with her CHILDREN, trying to avoid confrontation! He entered her "comfort" zone when he walked thru the front door.Doesn't matter why she didn't open the door or why she didn't stick her head out and say "WHAZZZUPPP!!!". He should have left when he was obviously not welcome at her home. If I'm not home and/or I do not open the door, then I don't want you in my house. PERIOD. He decided well before showing up that he was going to break in! NOTHING in that house was worth a life except those CHILDREN HELLO! MY CHILDREN ARE MY LIFE! I WILL DIE AND (I PRAY NEVER NEEDED) KILL FOR! WHO WOULDNT?!?!?!
Grow up Mr. Dallin, have a family, then, rewrite this story in about 10yrs. after looking your children in the eyes.
The point you are trying to make is fear caused this incident. Why was she afraid to open the door to begin with? HELLO!!!! The intruder breaking in confirmed her fear!
Sir, you would do much better reading articles, not writing them.....


Jesuswasasocialist--yes, he was. And he was a pacifist, reasoned with his oppressors, was never armed and never exhibited violence. And he was wrongly imprisoned, scourged, beaten, and crucified. Thank you, but I'll pass on that fate for me and mine. I will defend my person, my family, my property and my freedom and do it with violence if I have to. If you don't want to get shot--several times--don't break into my home. If this dimwitted writer had an I.Q. higher than his hat size, he wouldn't be defending this "innocent burglar", an oxymoron if there ever was one. She should have answered the door? With her gun on her person? Unless she already had it leveled at his head, that would do little good. By what divine prescience was she supposed to know he meant her and her children no harm? She had her doors locked, fled with her children to a hiding place, and would have been quite happy to let him get on with his "innocent" burgling had he not found them. Only then did she react to a perceived threat to herself and her children. And she had every right--in fact, the obligation--to do exactly that.


It says "English [major]" in his description, right? Not "Journalism [major]", assuming my eyes do not deceive me. This distinction seems to have been lost on Neal Boortz and all of his knowledgeable fans who can't see this for what it is. English majors are asked to interpret novels, write poetry, find hidden meaning in plays, and all of that other liberal art stuff. In no way do these things require facts or truth or citations or anything. Notice how the Lao Tzu quote is obviously incorrect? You're not allowed to do that in journalism because people rely on journalists to find information, research it, and relay this information to us. I want mention any specific companies (if I were I would probably mention Fox News and NewsCorp), but a lot of places still refuse to say things that are someone's opinion and publish them as fact.

It obviously has underlying biases and it doesn't address all of the facts involved in the story, but it isn't supposed to. It's in the 'Opinions' article of a college newspaper. How it managed to make its way to Neal Boortz is beyond me, but now there are 100 comments telling Dallin that *your* opinion is right and that his opinion is wrong. It's comical! It's a joke! You assert that if he were in that position he would have acted the same way, and there may be some truth to that. Everyone reacts differently in different situations, and one's life is taken very seriously when it's in harms way. He even addresses that in his column, as well as mentioning the entire point of the piece: it isn't that she shot him in fear, it is that she didn't shoot the scary black man with a crowbar when he tried to barge in. She didn't warn the man not to come in and that she was planning on shooting him (not that she has to or is required to, but if I wanted someone to peacefully go away when they were intimidating me or frightening me, I would probably mention the loaded gun I had as a deterrent).

He isn't saying she shouldn't have shot him or that we should take your sweet, sweet guns away from you. He is pondering why she decided not to take preventive manners to rid herself of the problem, instead hiding in the attic with a loaded gun. No one needed to get shot, but someone did. The person that did deserved to get shot and the gun *may* have saved the woman and her children's life. No one is doubting that. I fail to see how all of the savants who commented here missed the thesis of some "stupid English major". It's almost mind boggling, but then I remember why you all came here in the first place and it all makes sense.

Paul Cotter

I reference journalism because many journalists and columnists start out as english majors. It was an assumption on my part due to the fact that he was writing in an online publication. For that I apologize.

As to my being here due to Boortz, you have assumed. this article has started to spread across the conservative and libertarian blogosphere. We come from many houses.

A statement on you, JesusWasASocialist: You seem quite unpleasant and prone to histrionics. While I dislike ad hominem, and I night be mistaken, I don't believe I would like you.


The problem with Dallin Kelson in very simple. His academic credentials are Chipola College '11 and UF '13.

That means he was too stupid to get into UF. So he took advantage of a loop hole that allows any Associates Degree holder to AUTOMATICALLY transfer into a 4-year degree program at any State of Florida University. So he probably scored all of Tim Tebow on his SAT or ACT. (That means around 1000 verbal/math combined),

What would you expect from a member of the dumb-masses!


So, English major, let me get this straight. Because I have a DOOR, I have to open it every time someone knocks on it, no matter if he is or even LOOKS LIKE a criminal.

And when the perp is so intent on stealing, invading and poking his nose into every part of the house he feels like it. Let's be serious. This perp felt pretty darn comfortable passing time in this house.

Obviously he didn't mean to get in and out with the goods as fast as he could. Obviously he didn't care if he ran into someone who came home while he was lounging in the attic looking for the family jewels which were obviously stored in the ATTIC, for heaven's sake.

Grow up. The world is full of mean people. We have a right to defend ourselves against them.


Either you are one of the more clueless bipeds to walk the earth or you have a long way to go to master the subtle art of satire.

rick s
rick s

first of all, the dude that got shot five times had multiple previous felony convictions. and he brought a crowbar.

so... he wasn't selling encyclopedias.


so she shot him.


"He didn’t mean to violently intrude upon this family."

Umm, excuse me but, he broke into their house & was robbing them. That's a 'violent intrusion' by any rational, civilised standard.

But the above indicates you don't quite qualify as either.

Warren Bonesteel

Underlying the foundation of a society, a civilization, are it's laws. Those laws can be summarized thus: 'If it's not yours, don't touch it.' From Hammurabi to Moses to Blackstone, that thought underlies all of their works. It underlies the idels contained in The Constitution.

All of the wisdom of the ages allows an individual to protect themselves against violence. The only exception to that wisdom is the foolishness of tyrannies and of dictators.

Self-defense has always been allowed, even encouraged, in free and open societies, whether against the theft of their belongings, against their health or their lives.

"A principal source of errors and injustice are false ideas of utility. For example: that legislator has false ideas of utility who considers particular more than general conveniencies, who had rather command the sentiments of mankind than excite them, who dares say to reason, 'Be thou a slave;' who would sacrifice a thousand real advantages to the fear of an imaginary or trifling inconvenience; who would deprive men of the use of fire for fear of their being burnt, and of water for fear of their being drowned; and who knows of no means of preventing evil but by destroying it.

The laws of this nature are those which forbid to wear arms, disarming those only who are not disposed to commit the crime which the laws mean to prevent. Can it be supposed, that those who have the courage to violate the most sacred laws of humanity, and the most important of the code, will respect the less considerable and arbitrary injunctions, the violation of which is so easy, and of so little comparative importance? Does not the execution of this law deprive the subject of that personal liberty, so dear to mankind and to the wise legislator? and does it not subject the innocent to all the disagreeable circumstances that should only fall on the guilty? It certainly makes the situation of the assaulted worse, and of the assailants better, and rather encourages than prevents murder, as it requires less courage to attack unarmed than armed persons."

The Commonplace Book of Thomas Jefferson: A Repertory of His Ideas on Government, ed. Gilbert Chinard (Baltimore: Johns Hopkins Press, 1926),



I completely agree. This should have never gotten to the point where guns were involved. Dumb a** should have not been trespassing. Of course, it was all the homeowners fault. She should have known better than to try to protect her children with such a violent weapon. She should have invited the misguided fellow in and offered herself and her children for whatever purposes he desired. Wasn't his fault that this particular house wasn't empty. We all just need to try to see things from the point of a convicted felon once in a while. Wow, I feel all good and liberal now. So enlightening.


Well, there is not much I can personally add here. I couldn't believe what I was reading and am still leaning toward this person maybe writing this article for attention and just doing a poor job at making his sarcasm obvious. What bothers me more however are the comments by those attempting to defend him. You are reasoning that this terrified woman who was simply in survival mode, and no doubt just trying to get through this situation with her children, was just supposed to warn this perpetrator before taking further action?? I would really like to see what you would do if you were in any given situation where you felt threatened and your adrenaline was pumping at a rate that you were just trying not to pass out let alone think and act appropriately. I have heard the 9-1-1 call with her husband talking her through it and it was obvious that she just wanted him to go away. It amazes me that some of you would call her a coward for hiding in the closet?? She had EVERY right to be afraid! And the fact is she had every right to defend herself and her children by ANY MEANS NECESSARY! This criminal chose to commit a crime and I'm sorry but getting shot was the cost of doing business! The sad fact here is that the anti-gun people cannot stand for there to be any argument against their agenda and so they take an incident like this and try to make scenarios where she could have reasoned with the criminal. Once you realize that making guns illegal will be no more effective than making drugs illegal then maybe there can be a good debate. Until then there is going to be two sides on the issue and neither one willing to budge!


To the author: You are a dangerous individual. That's all the diplomacy I can muster right now.


When dealing with a criminal, the safest approach is to assume the worst case scenario and react as such. Dallin is suggesting a riskier approach of granting the criminal the benefit of the doubt. Yet, Dallin cited the exact problem when he said the woman has been conditioned by the stories of murders and home invasions. That's because those tragic events actually occurred, so her reaction was properly basic. For Dallin to think otherwise is a complete logical fallacy.

One detail of the news story that is missing in Dallin's recount is the fact that once the criminal was inside the house and realized the mother and children were present, he didn't turn and leave. Instead, he pursued them.

I realize that being anti-gun is trendy for people who haven't been out in the real world yet, or who live in a naive bubble. At some point, being realistic and responsible will need to replace that trendiness. One-by-one, I have watched family and friends shift from their anti-gun stance to asking me for advice on what gun(s) to buy due to a situation that either they encountered, or someone they know experienced.

As a parent and a husband, it is MY responsibility to protect my family. Dialing 911 is really just calling in investigators to see what happened. It is my role to ensure that chalk lines are not being drawn around my family.


Hey Dallin - Here's another idea that goes right in line with your thought process - maybe the mother should have invited the intruder in for a beer so they could sit down together and come up with some peaceful negotiations. Then the children wouldn't have been subjected to such violence, right?

On another note, now my hard-earned, taxpayer dollars are being used to save this guy's life while he recovers in a nearby hospital. Good grief.

Anyone know of a liberty-loving country I can escape to with my hubby and two small children when the poop hits the fan around here?


The mentality of this "journalist" frightens me. This is what liberal Americans who no doubt vote for Obama, really believe; that we should simply allow intruders and home invaders to do as they please. Obama and his leftist rabble are like the AIDS virus on the immune system of America.


I am trying very hard to convince myself this is a satire and failing.

Sabba Hillel

Oh come now. It is obvious from the start that this is satire and sracasm. Just because he did not explain that in the beginning does not mean that he meant it seriously.

The line "... sell them some encyclopedias or crowbars or something." or the deliberate "quote" from Lao Tzu shows this immediately.

Do we really lack so much in reading comprehension that we would think that anyoe would take it as a serious article?

What bothers me is that the woman was such a bad shot that the guy survived. Also, she used up all here bullets and was defenseless against further attack.


A guy shows up at your door with a crowbar; you're a female with two kids. You're supposed to ask him what he wants? I'd like to see you do that. Send me your address.


This. Is. Not. Satire. You. Morons.

Look up the author people!

His Twitter account @Dallin5 shows support for the 'anti-corporatist' movement, left wing.

But this is FAR more revealing:

That's him, signing petitions to prosecute George Zimmerman (for his legal use of deadly force in self defense) after the Trayvon Martin incident. Gee I wonder if this is an anti-gun piece?

He also wants to block the keystone pipeline, what else? More petition crap about Republicans and Big Oil. There is no question this is simply a slobbering leftist author with a rather insane premise.

Those who have commented suggesting this is satire need to realize that this is simply a bad author, with bad writing skills, pushing an admittedly frightening view of how the left thinks victims should react in these situations -- so much so, that to the rational mind, it almost appears to be satire.


A few years back I read a story (I can’t find it now) about a woman who was (or already had been) being prosecuted for killing a would-be rapist in (I think)one of the English-speaking countries that has real strict gun laws (England, Canada, or Australia).

The comment told to her by the authority on the case was that the presence of a gun allowed her do what society found utterly wrong in every case – a death sentence for a criminal act. What the authority found especially wrong was that … while she would likely have survived the rape, there was no chance that the would-be rapist survived her criminal act in shooting him.

Is that the sort of world we want to live in - where we have to be submissive to the whims of whoever is stronger than us instead of being able to arm and defend ourselves?


It's satire. The problem is, this is a very poor example, which explains the outrage. To write effective satire, the author needs to establish a rational basis and then expand to the absurd, which this author does. However, the tenor of the piece changes toward the end of the article and the author loses the edginess that characterizes effective satire and goes to what appears to be a statement of opinion, rather than a climax of absurdity. Now, alumni and the citizenry are reacting with outrage. This is the danger of poorly written satire. You miss the mark and you will strike an unintended target.

Or if NOT satire, the author is deranged in an OWS way.


This in NOT - NOT - SATIRE !!!! I called the newspaper and the young student said it is not satire - that this is truly Dallin's opinion. She further said it is not news (as if I did not know that) - and that I could write a letter to the editor about it - But she was very very clear that this was Dallin's OPINION - not satire....


The commenters have been trolled ridiculously by someone who wasn't even trying to troll them. Once again, a defeat for the conservative populace who prove yet again that they can be manipulated by anything...




Dallin Kelson - you are a prime example of what is wrong in the United States today. You are a product of schools that stop teaching critical thinking and start rewarding failure.

This is so asinine, I looked for something to show me you were joking. Unfortunately, you aren't. You are just an idiot. I hope your home gets burglarized, and I hope you are inside when it happens. It is really the only way a halfwit like you can learn.


Someone really needs to find this guy's home address and do a home invasion in which not only is he robbed and beaten but raped (and yes this is only half serious)


Pertinax has been trolled ridiculously by people who weren't even trying to troll him. Once again, a defeat for the conceited populace who prove yet again that they can be manipulated by anything...

You just had to get a word in, didn't you Pertinax? You read this article, and you smelled a flame war and came a runnin'? I know you want to mock the Reds here, but I think it's just as sad, maybe more so, that you came here just to get a snide comment in.


It is truly sad that you blow yourself up as an educated individual, but you did not even educate yourself about the story. You wrote that he was a harmless cat burglar that didn't realize there was anyone home. Therefore, he was innocently "breaking in" just to steal a few things, like innocent "cat burglars do" !. HOWEVER, you chose to turn your liberal agenda OFF to the rest of the story, so that you could make your point. You didn't even realize that the burglar tried to grab one of the children as they fled up the stairs from him.If he was only breaking in to "steal material items", then he would have ran when he realized there was actually someone home. INSTEAD he decided to attempt to grab one of the children as they tried to run to safety, and continue to use his crowbar "that he was according to you trying to sell" to break through two if not three more doors to get to this mother and her children. Why at this point should this mother care if he has been in jail or NOT!? He doesn't have to wear a t-shirt, because it doesn't matter at this point! Even if he was totally clean it doesn't matter! He's still in her house and after her kids and that's all that matters. All she knows is that this guy is in her house and trying with all he has to hurt her and her precious children! No she didn't own the firearm, but her husband did. WHY should this MOTHER not try to protect her kids? I don't care if he was praying to the Holy Father or not for her not to take his life! He STILL chose to BREAK INTO her HOME and GO AFTER her and the children. The burglar didn't "lay in the floor" full of .38 holes. Do you not recall that he was able to get back into his car and drive up the street before he finally crashed his car??? PLEASE!!!!! ---- The NEXT time you feel the need to express such a LARGE opiniom, please, oh please educate yourself on the entire truth! How would you feel if it was your mother or wife and children that it happened to? Good day to you sir!


You think you are so smart, so educated, so worldly, please listen to the 9-1-1 call and tell us that the victims (the woman home alone with her children) should have allowed themselves to be robbed, beaten, raped, and murdered by the ex-convict who had just been released from prison again.


The criminal had broken into the attic where the victims were hiding before the police even responded. There is no way they would have gotten there in time to stop the criminal from doing terrible things to the victims.

It is a shame the criminal is going to survive. Now the taxpayers are going to have to pay for this career criminal's medical care and yet another trial and incarceration.


Pertinax has been trolled ridiculously by people who weren't even trying to troll him. Once again, a defeat for the conceited populace who prove yet again that they can be manipulated by anything...

You just had to get a word in, didn't you Pertinax? You read this article, and you smelled a flame war and came a runnin'? I know you want to mock the Reds here, but I think it's just as sad, maybe more so, that you came here just to get a snide comment in.


The "Reds" as you call them mock themselves. They flock to the article and act like the writer is just not screwing around with them. My "snide" comment is far more in line with the truth than the other comments in this thread. People just feel the need to post on these silly "gun control" issues.


Dallin actually makes very illustrative point here.

His line of thinking clearly shows us why violent crime is more prevalent in liberal gun-control zoos like Canada, UK, or Chicago than it is in states with sane gun laws like Vermont.

Let's assume for a moment that the guy really was not intending to murder anyone, and his primary objective was stealing, maybe with a little violence mixed in so that no one would stop him. Just like most muggers, hoodlums, or rapists don't actually murder their victim, but are content with merely satisfying their base urges and moving on.

The author seems to think that is not enough cause to employ deadly force; I disagree. The purpose of punishment is not revenge, or eye for an eye; it is PREVENTION. If criminals get shot during burglaries or muggings, they stop committing them. It's as simple as that.

That is why gun control advocates compare "gun deaths", but not violent crime in general. The truth is, you or me are much more likely to be a victim of violent crime in Canada or UK than in the US.

PS. By the way, high gun murder rates are mostly driven by drug dealers / excons shooting each other - competing in the lucrative drug trade created by federal prohibition. Since the War on Drugs started, the number of drug overdoses and number of people in prison increased about 6-7 FOLD.

With government making such a huge mess when trying to regulate drugs and alcohol, I wonder why big-government progressives believe War on Guns will be anything other than a failure?

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