McDonald’s: glorious American institution or Exhibit A in capitalism run amok? Regardless of one’s personal views on the fast-food giant, it is impossible to deny it does two things exceptionally well: tasty, grease-filled breakfast foods and late-night drunken snacks. Since the company’s announcement of a 24/7 breakfast menu Tuesday, those two beautiful things no longer have to be mutually exclusive.
McDonald’s game-changing announcement is particularly important for Gainesville as well as college towns the country over. Drunkenly stumbling for cheap food at 1 a.m. is an important, cherished college tradition and rightfully so: It presents an opportunity for introspection and bonding and serves as a much-needed opportunity to burn some calories after pounding back three Tallboys — at least, before you arrive at your destination.
Yes, there are already a number of wonderful places where inebriated young men and women can grab late-night grub in the Midtown area, but all of these restaurants (Relish, Italian Gator Pizza and Gator City among them) are pricier than what midnight snack runs warrant. Let he who is without sin be the first to claim they have never spent too much money drunkenly buying food.
The fact that the McDonald’s on the corner of 13th Street and University Avenue was already a 24/7 institution is irrelevant. What IS relevant is that they now have something no one else can offer: cheap, delicious breakfast food in the wee hours.
It is the hope of many here at the Alligator that this innovation kick-starts a market revolution in the late-night Gainesville eatery game. As Ron Swanson would attest, competitive markets are the blood that pumps the cold, capitalist heart that is the American economy. All things willing, the lower prices offered by McDonald’s will cause a chain reaction, forcing late-night favorites like Relish to offer counters like fried eggs at a discounted price — McDonald’s for run-of-the-mill nights of debauchery, Relish for payday.
However, this exciting development doesn’t mean it’s always rainbows and butterflies — after all, it’s compromise that moves us along. With the increased consumption of McGriddles and hash browns, which is no doubt going to occur, it’s going to fall on us as a community to take better care of our bodies. Gainesville is a good-looking city, and it would be irresponsible of us to allow our love of disgustingly tasty midnight breakfast foods to overcome our love of being really, really ridiculously good-looking.
Change is inevitable, but it’s how we cope with change that defines us. In this case, it means working that much harder when hitting the gym on a hung-over Sunday morning. Forget about leg days; with the glorious new dawn of 24/7 McGriddles upon us, it’s going to be nothing but full body from here on out.
