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Friday, April 26, 2024

Editor's note: in light of the Jameis Winston suspension, the Florida State-Clemson line is in fact FSU -15.5

With the Gators traveling to the great state of Alabama to take on the Crimson Tide this Saturday, the alligatorSports road crew will be making its first of two treks outside of Florida over the next three weeks.

Gone are the days of strolling to Ben Hill Griffin Stadium right before kickoff.

And we couldn’t be more excited for this to happen.

A football game between one of the perennial frontrunners for a national title and a team that’s still determining where its production will peak is in order.

Let’s break down our journey to our destination to the immediate northwest by the numbers.

Two: The number of nights we’ll be staying in a Motel 6 with a two-star rating more than 40 minutes away from Bryant-Denny Stadium.

Five: The number of people fitting into one car to make the trip possible.

Seven: The estimated number of hours the alligatorSports road crew will travel to make it to Tuscaloosa for the game if it goes non-stop.

25: The minimum amount of times Morgan Moriarty will bring up the name Todd Gurley before we even leave the state of Florida.

Let’s just stop talking about this trip while we’re somewhat still ahead.

Hopefully we have a good playlist to get us through that treacherous journey to Tuscaloosa.

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Debating the game of the week — a nightcap between No. 4 Oklahoma and West Virginia — are alligatorSports editor Jordan McPherson and staff writer Morgan Moriarty.

The Sooners (-7.5) will take the win sooner rather than later because ...

Oklahoma’s offense has not had a hiccup thus far this year. The Sooners are averaging 44.7 points per game, good for 16th in the nation, while limiting its first three opponents to just 11. Expect Oklahoma’s trio of running backs — Keith Ford, Samaje Perine and Alex Ross — to have a field day against WVU, which is giving up an average of 162.5 yards on the ground this season.

-Jordan McPherson

The Mountaineers (+7.5) will hold down their home field because...

Clint Trickett won me over when he nickel and dimed Alabama’s secondary.

This game being in Morgantown is huge, too. I think this game will come down to a field goal.

-Morgan Moriarty

Now onto the Picks!

In first place with a 14-9 record is alligatorSports staff writer Jonathan "bailing out" Czupryn, who decided to skip the alligatorSports podcast this week in order to see a girl. Really, man?

You picked a girl over sports?

Was she at least better looking than "most" of us like Kurt Roper’s wife?

Dropping down one spot to second place with a 13-10 record is the Orlando Sentinel’s Edgar "Free Falling" Thompson, who had an appalling 1-7 record in last week’s round of picks.

I repeat, ONE and SEVEN. It’s fine Edgar. We get that you had a bad week.

Everyone else sucked at least a little bit last week, too. Unfortunately, you just sucked the most.

 

In third place with a 12-11 record is alligatorSports staff writer Morgan "drag racing" Moriarty, who received her first speeding ticket on the way to this year’s Southeastern Conference Media Days while heading to Alabama in July.

Good job, Morgan. Do you know you’re just adding on to the stereotype that women can’t drive?

Yes, I know you’re eager to see the Crimson Tide and your coach-crush in Nick Saban.

But let’s hope lightning doesn’t strike twice when you make your return to the Heart of Dixie.

 

Tied for fourth with an 11-12 clip is alligatorSports.org Editor Richard "The NFL sucks ass" Johnson, who has expressed his disdain for the National Football League on more occasions than one over the past two weeks. We wish we could understand your logic, bud.

Football is football.

It doesn’t matter if it’s professional, college or peewee. The game is the same.

Embrace the NFL, Richard. Embrace it.

 

Also in fourth and just under .500 is Gator Country’s Nick "mid-life crisis" de la Torre, who is starting to show his age this week with an (un)impressive salt-and-pepper hairdo.

There’s two simple solutions here, Nick: Just for Men or a vintage Mustang.

Hopefully you realize which is the right choice to go with.

 

Rounding out the alligatorSports group in sixth place with a 10-13 clip is editor Jordan "I want to build a snowman" McPherson, who mentioned on the alligatorSports podcast on Tuesday how much he enjoyed the children’s movie "Frozen."

OK, Jordan. You can make up all the excuses you want about watching it with your little sister.

But you need to come to your senses and just admit it — you like the movie. It’s not a secret anymore.

 

Tied with Jordan in sixth place and four games out of the top spot is Inside the Gators’ Landon "against the grain" Watnick, who was the only person to pick North Carolina over East Carolina for this weekend’s matchups.

I don’t know, man. Maybe watching football on three different TVs in your Estates apartment room gave you some insight that we didn’t know about.

Or maybe watching those three TVs simultaneously is making you delusional. I think it’s safe to say that we’re going with the latter.

And once again in dead-ass-last with a piss-poor record of 9-14 is Thomas "Who dat?" Goldkamp, who wears some sort of New Orleans Saints apparel to a majority of the Florida football media availabilities.

Come on, man!

The Saints, with their incredible 0-2 record, are probably the only team doing worse than you are right now.

Maybe you should look into another team.

I hear the Browns are doing pretty well right now, wouldn’t you say?

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