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Sunday, June 16, 2024

As classes start to heat up and that first test of the semester is looming on the horizon, the Department of Darts & Laurels is thankful Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream.

We’re also thankful the U.S. government decided to honor him with his very own day.  

So without further ado, we would like to present you with the how-sad-is-it-that-we’re-already-in-dire-need-of-this-three-day-weekend edition of Darts & Laurels.

However, former Tennessee football coach and resident loud mouth Lane Kiffin is one person definitely not deserving of his very own day — just ask University of Tennessee students.

He announced Tuesday that he’d be leaving the Vols for his “dream job” as head coach at the University of Southern California, which is pretty impressive considering he didn’t fare that well in the NFL and didn’t do much at Tennessee other than run his mouth.

But, as much as we hate to do this we’re going to throw (very aggressively, mind you) a you-may-be-a-slimy-douche-but-you-certainly- know-how-to-get-what-you-want LAUREL to Lane Kiffin.

Kiffin wasn’t the only one in front of a firing squad this week.

Popular late night TV show host Conan O’Brien started firing shots at NBC when it proposed giving former “The Tonight Show” host Jay Leno the 11:35 p.m. time slot, which would push O’Brien’s show back to 12:05 a.m.

Since we are totally on team Coco – shirts will be made soon – we’re going to fling a you-do-realize-people-only-watch-your-network-for-the-Office-right? DART at NBC.

And O’Brien isn’t the only one sticking it to the man lately.

But Google’s man is a little bit bigger than Coco’s man. He’s scarier too.

Regardless of size, Google decided to fight back after Chinese computer hackers targeted the Gmail accounts of 20 Chinese human rights activists.

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It said Monday it will no longer be censoring searches for Google.cn, and there are talks that it may leave China for good. 

So naturally, we’re going to throw a way-to-go-for-sticking-it-to-those-commies LAUREL to Google.

Google and Conan aren’t the only ones forming enemies.

Thursday’s issue of the North Florida Herald included a front-page column from Editor-in-Chief Ron DuPont. He described an incident in which a reader removed newspapers from a Herald box and threatened him.

Sure, it’s easy to attack a small newspaper when you don’t agree with an editorial or two, but imagine if people all over the country flew to New York to threaten Andrew Rosenthal after The New York Times Editorial Board endorsed Barack Obama for president?

The fact that readers might know the editor by name doesn’t make it OK to try to take away his First Amendment right to publish editorials not everyone agrees with.

So in an act of solidarity, the Editorial Board is peeking out from behind a shield to throw a we-newspapers-need-to-stick-together DART at the High Springs area readers who are harassing the North Florida Herald.

While we had a lot to complain about this week (what else is new?), we would like to end on a positive note.

When an estimated 7.0-magnitude earthquake hit Haiti and devastated the city of Port-au-Prince, UF students along with the city of Gainesville, banded together to raise money for relief efforts.

So we’re going to graciously hand a we’re-proud-of-you-for-putting-down-your-smart-phones-and-helping-out-those-in-need LAUREL to the Student Body.

That’s all for this week folks. Keep up the good work.

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