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Sunday, June 16, 2024

The Editorial Board is going to try something new today.

Instead of our usual pleas to the Student Body, Student Government, Bernie Machen or anyone else who annoys us (which turns out to be quite an extensive list), we’re going to try and bargain with one of the most famous furry friends in the nation.

That’s right, Punxsutawney Phil, we’re talking to you.

Now, we realize whether or not Phil sees his shadow will probably have zero effect on the weather, but just go with us here, OK?

We’re sick and tired of the cold, and our paychecks are far too small to allow us to purchase new winter clothes.

Let’s recap the kind of winter we’ve had thus far. 

January showed record lows for the city of Gainesville. Local farmers had problems with frozen crops. We even suffered a  mitten shortage.

And even though we had temperatures as low as 17 degrees, Gainesville didn’t even get a little snow.

So please, we’re begging you, Phil, Mother Nature or to whomever we should be directing this editorial: Cut us Floridians a little slack because we can’t take the cold anymore.

There’s a reason we go to school in the Sunshine State.

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