Skip to Content, Navigation, or Footer.
We inform. You decide.
Friday, March 29, 2024

Movie review: Star Trek Into Darkness

When J.J. Abrams’ "Star Trek" came out in 2009 it offered a fresh, modern and exciting take on a classic story. Abrams introduced viewers to a 23rd century that included the best elements of science fiction, while also maintaining a distinct connection with reality. As viewers, we saw a young Spock and Jim Kirk form a friendship that became after each learned to think a little bit more like the other: Spock being half-Vulcan, represented logic and reason, while James Kirk being human, represented emotion and gut feeling.

Despite the events of the last "Star Trek" movie, it seems both Spock and Jim Kirk actually learned nothing from each other, as the two continue to quibble like Congress over whose view point is better. Abrams opens the latest addition of the "Star Trek" franchise with our heroes of the Enterprise attempting to save a human-like species from certain doom.  Apparently suffering from dandruff of the body, this primitive and flaky species only hope for survival rests on the decisive actions of the Enterprise’s crew. Actions the crew struggles to complete as the drama of Commander Kirk’s emotions and First Officer Spock’s logic threaten the mission at hand - an issue I thought had been solved, or at least contained, by the end of the last "Star Trek." 

Apparently old habits die hard, because the dichotomy between the two characters is still very much at play, with both having to relearn how to combine the best elements of logic and emotion in their respective decision making abilities. Of course, if such a cognitive difference between the two only occurred in the movie’s opening scene it would be a more or less welcoming reintroduction to the two characters. Instead the butting of heads between Spock’s logic and Kirk’s emotions remains a constant theme throughout the film. It gets tiring and it eventually led to me excusing myself to use the restroom midway through the movie.

Thus as a story arc, "Star Trek Into Darkness" seems to tread over old ground; however, as a summer blockbuster the movie doesn’t disappoint. Abrams continues to emphasize a visual mastery of the "Star Trek" universe with gorgeous panoramas of both 23rd century San Francisco and London (though curiously a large ship does find its way into the background of one shot of 23rd century San Francisco – which made me think, in an age of warp speed, space ships and hovering cars, what purpose does a ship serve?).

Epic space battles offer everything any viewer could ask for - space ships chasing each other at warp speeds, numerous explosions and enough lasers to take the hair off of Robin Williams. If sitting back with a bag of popcorn and watching things explode is what you feel makes a good movie, then "Star Trek Into Darkness" will check all of your boxes. But those looking for a sequel that builds upon its predecessor will be disappointed to see that not much has changed since the last time we saw the crew of the Enterprise on the big screen. 

Pee Score:

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

 

 

Image credit: Sustainable sanitation

 Like many of you, I love a good movie. Unfortunately, I have a very small bladder. It’s a genetic abnormality: my dad had a small bladder, his dad had a small bladder and my kid will probably have a small bladder. Thus, without further ado, allow me to introduce you to my patent-pending bathroom break movie rating system, also known as the pee score. A great movie will keep me in my seat no matter how badly I have to pee. A good movie generally results in me leaving my seat once to use the restroom, a mediocre movie will usually cause me to find an excuse to hit the head twice, and a terrible movie generally causes me to find the restroom at least three different times. Though the pee score generally correlates to the overall quality of a film, there are exceptions to every rule – so don’t just look at the number of samples attached to this review, be sure to read my words as well to get the real scoop on the latest movies coming out in Gainesville’s theaters.

Below are a handful of things I learned about the future from Star Trek Into Darkness, which takes place in 2259:

Enjoy what you're reading? Get content from The Alligator delivered to your inbox

Apparently between the years 2013 and 2259, someone discovers that the digital alarm clock is dangerous or something and the “flip” style alarm clock makes a comeback.

Remember how Jim Kirk hooks up with a green girl in the first "Star Trek?" Well, in "Star Trek Into Darkness" we get a quick cut to Kirk clearly having a threesome with a pair of twins who have tails! Not just any tails, these are lion-like tails. Thus it seems that by 2259 the term “getting some tail” becomes a literal expression. This also may mean that interspecies relationships will be socially acceptable in 2259 - if for some reason that’s your thing.

Google Glass and the iPhone fail miserably, as everyone in the year 2259 appears to have regressed to using a phone that resembles a flip phone for communication.

We may have been told the gene for blue eyes is recessive, but Star Trek Into Darkness proves among Caucasian humans this is actually a dominant trait.

This isn’t something I learned from Star Trek Into Darkness but is instead something I learned while watching Star Trek Into Darkness - never mix Buncha Crunch with popcorn. I like mixing my salts and my sweets, and the thought of this combination sounded awesome – it wasn’t. The Buncha Crunch melted, got all over my hands, and even managed to leave a nice chocolate stain on my shirt. When mixing candy with popcorn, I’ll be sticking to something with a hard outer shell that won’t melt like M&M’s or Reese’s Pieces.

Support your local paper
Donate Today
The Independent Florida Alligator has been independent of the university since 1971, your donation today could help #SaveStudentNewsrooms. Please consider giving today.

Powered by SNworks Solutions by The State News
All Content © 2024 The Independent Florida Alligator and Campus Communications, Inc.