Swamp of Love: Stop playing games

What is this, middle school computer class?

I was out the other night, and I watched a girl who was walking with some girl friends and one male companion. They see me, and the one girl whispers to her friends, “C’mon, let’s go talk to him and get him jealous.” Ambiguous pronouns aside, this chick (let’s call her Stacy) was trying to make the guy she was with jealous by coming to talk to me. I laughed about it, meanwhile homeboy kept walking without a care in the world- until he noticed his posse of girls had trailed off. Now, you may be wondering what this guy did when he noticed the girl he thought he’d be going home with let him walk off. Well, here it is: he walks back to the group, chucks up the deuces, and says “Hey, Stacy, I’m out of here. Have a good one.” The kid about-faced and marched off. Whoops, that plan didn’t work Stacy, now did it?

Keepin’ it real

Let’s be honest: nobody wants to feel like they’re being played. This isn’t Westeros, and ladies your name is not Cersei Lannister. Gentlemen, you are not as cunning as Petyr Baelish or the Imp. And we’re not all vying for a coveted throne of sharp iron blades. This is real life. We’ve got real people, real relationships, and real desires and emotions.  When two people are playing at their own games, things are bound to get messy. Even when it’s only one person playing, things will end poorly when the person on the receiving end becomes aware. I know it doesn’t feel good getting hustled for a pitcher at the pool table, and no one has ever felt happy walking away from a game of three-card monte. There’s a reason you should never want to be known as someone who fell for the ol’ Kansas City Shuffle. If we don’t enjoy being toyed with on street corners and in smoky saloons, why would we do it in our personal lives? 

She’s playing Candyland, but you’re playing Monopoly

What exactly is going on when we’re playing games? Well, it’s a means to an end; if you want something, you play the game to get it. What kind of games are we talking about? Well, there’s the classic cat and mouse game of playing hard to get, there’s the power trip mentality where you know you’re never gonna care to dial those digits you just saved in your phone, and of course, there’s the rom-com classic “Dude-you-have-to-wait-3-days-to-call” game so you don’t seem desperate to someone you just met. And one of my favorites, using someone else’s presence as social proof; you know, kinda like how Iggy Azalea got put on when she started dating A$AP Rocky. 

Stop playing, start living

My best advice is to stop playing games, and just go after what you want. If we can communicate like rational adults, there’d be no need for nonsensical game-playing. Honestly, if you try to play games and mess up, you’re just gonna wind up with egg on your face, like Stacy. You remember, that girl I met at midtown the other night? As soon as her unnamed beau walked off, she went running after him and revealed her true desires to any outside observers. Oh, and her friends and I had a laugh at her expense. Moral of the story: stop playing games in relationships and hopefully you won’t wind up looking like a fool.