Skip to Content, Navigation, or Footer.
We inform. You decide.
Friday, March 29, 2024

Compared to the horrible events of last week, things this week were pretty good. Except for the fact that the always-angry, holier-than-thou Rick Santorum won three states this week, there appears to be a lot of positive national news. This is not to say that everything is peachy, but we take the good news when it comes.

That brings us to this week's finally-our-heads-got-a-break-from-all-of-the-face-palms edition of...

Darts & Laurels

For introducing a bill that we hope will prevent the indefinite detention of American citizens, we give a let's-hope-this-passes LAUREL to the sponsors of H.R. 3676.

The bill amends the language of the National Defense Authorization Act to ensure that the language of the original law cannot be construed to allow the indefinite detention of American citizens.

In reference to a story we ran Wednesday, we toss a what-a-bunch-of-creepy-perverts DART to the 21 men who were arrested in a child-sex sting.

However, we reserved special recognition for the winner of our way-to-not-read-the-news SUPER DART: pervert No. 22, Richard Jernigan.

This guy showed up a day after the press conference about the sting operation and still got arrested.

Next, we give a now-if-only-this-would-apply-to-the-entire-country LAUREL to President Obama, who waived the requirements of No Child Left Behind for Florida and nine other states on Thursday.

This is definitely a step in the right direction.

As much as we hate to keep repeating ourselves, we just have to throw another it's-so-ridiculous-it's-funny DART at Toni Megna, the UF Student Government Supervisor of Elections.

As part of the election code revisions, the supervisor has to give a presentation to the Senate, outlining a contingency plan for the SG elections in case anything goes wrong.

Enjoy what you're reading? Get content from The Alligator delivered to your inbox

Well, according to her presentation, it would be impossible to have secure secondary polling locations.

The best part was that she didn't take any questions during her presentation.

What a joke.

Finally, for respecting the dignity of all human beings, we give a who-would-have-thought-that-this-would-still-be-going-on-in-2012 LAUREL to the U.S. Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals, which struck down Proposition 8, the ban on same-sex marriage in California.

Those who argue that this ruling thwarts the will of the people should realize that the majority does not rule in America.

Individual rights do.

Have a fun and safe weekend and be sure to check back next week!

Support your local paper
Donate Today
The Independent Florida Alligator has been independent of the university since 1971, your donation today could help #SaveStudentNewsrooms. Please consider giving today.

Powered by SNworks Solutions by The State News
All Content © 2024 The Independent Florida Alligator and Campus Communications, Inc.