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Monday, May 06, 2024

I've lost count of how many times I've found bathroom stalls partially or completely unusable because of what I like to call "negligent use." Apparently, many among us are woefully uneducated in the field of toilet etiquette and usage, and it is our responsibility as a learning institution to pass these critical skills on to every student. Imagine the damage to The Gator Nation's image this is causing. Alumni letting toilet bowls fill to the brim and forcing their colleagues to wipe their urine off of toilet seats must be making quite a bad name for us.

For this reason, I'd like to propose a mandatory Flushing and Toilet Seat Operations (FaTSO) training program for all male UF students. Perhaps some of the engineering majors could help us create a comprehensive guide to the complex hinges of the toilet seat and the exasperatingly intricate flushing mechanism. The English majors could pitch in too by drafting some easy-to-follow instructions, such as, "Hold toilet seat. Lift," or, "Place finger on flusher. Push down."

Art students could join in the effort with some elucidating illustrations. Or maybe everyone could just lift the damn seat and flush when hes done. Seriously. Come on, Gators.

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