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Sunday, May 05, 2024

While tuning in to see Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin's acceptance speech, we are almost positive that everyone was hanging on her every word, transfixed by her persuasive political statements and promises of change.

OK, you caught us: We didn't hear a single word she said. Her glasses were far too hot for us to care about who she was insulting and who she was patting on the back.

For the first time since Dan Quayle held the position, Palin has potentially brought sexy back to the vice presidency. We'll bet whatever she was blabbering about was almost as important, but we were just glued to her glasses.

The only bad part about them is we tried to order ourselves the exact same frames and it turns out they're out of stock, so we can't be as trendy as the potential vice president, which probably means that we shouldn't even pay any more attention to the election.

How are we supposed to live without such magnificent eyewear? We've already been fitted for our Hillary Clinton pantsuits, and the Jackie Kennedy pillbox hats we ordered off eBay should be arriving any day now.

If we can't get these glasses, we're going to fall far behind on fall fashion, and we can't let that happen.

Is all this talk about Palin's glasses serious? Is that what everyone is paying attention to?

Before we all go off the fashion-trend deep end, let's try not to forget what we're doing here, folks.

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