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Friday, May 03, 2024

Admittedly, we don't have the best memories.

We're not sure when, why or how it happened, but for some reason, we just can't seem to remember names or dates as well as we used to. Second-tier holidays, distant relatives' birthdays, close relatives' birthdays, anniversaries - you name it. They all manage to slip our minds.

That's why we're surprised that we have such an uncanny ability to recall annoying little details like movie quotes, the name of Van Halen's third lead singer (Gary Cherone) and other events that have no redeeming social value.

So we aren't shocked that we remembered today is the one-year anniversary of the University Police manhandling and zapping an overzealous instigator named Andrew Meyer at Sen. John Kerry's speech in the University Auditorium.

The media's coverage of "Tasergate" was exhaustive to the point of nausea.

We really didn't need or want to see some brat howling about secret societies five million times. Our firsthand account in the auditorium was beyond sufficient.

Meyer's temper tantrum and subsequent Tasering embarrassed UF, UPD and hopefully him, too.

The incident rallied a horde of protesters who marched over to the UPD station to wave cheap signs attempting to corral the First Amendment into a sordid affair. Was anyone worried about Meyer's safety? Or were they just chomping at the bit because it had been a while since their last good, old-fashioned protest?

We're advocates of standing your ground and fighting the power, but it doesn't make much sense when your claims lack any real merit.

Somebody has to fight the good fight, we guess, but we'd rather have a legitimate argument before committing ourselves to the hoarse voices and heat exhaustion that would result from protesting in front of a police station all day.

We've certainly had enough of those damn T-shirts, too.

"Don't Tase me, bro" may be the dumbest line we've ever heard, and we've seen "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story."

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Meyer had actually done research before coming to Kerry's speech, but that certainly doesn't matter now.

No one will remember whether he eloquently presented his questions or successfully stumped Kerry because, rather than wearing his big-boy pants to the forum, Meyer decide to spew a line that sounds like it got cut from the script of a Pauly Shore movie.

The best thing to come from the whole "Tasergate" circus was the response from the "The Daily Show."

Host Jon Stewart referred to the Meyer's Tasering as an "unfortunate combination of police overreaction and … student douchebaggery."

If you had forgotten about the most spot-on six syllables seen by the English language last year, then let them sink in.

We're glad to help refresh your memory. No real word could've expressed our feelings as accurately, so we applaud Stewart and his writers for going out on a limb to create a word powerful enough to describe the whole situation.

On behalf of UF, we would like to apologize to the rest of the nation for letting one of our fellow Gators act like such a tool and dominate YouTube for the last part of 2007.

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