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Thursday, April 18, 2024

The Gainesville club scene is not my favorite crowd. I'm much more of a small, pretentious boutique club girl myself, but my loving friends and roommates have dragged me out to my share of Gainesville clubs, and I have not been impressed by what I've seen. Maybe it's because my taste in going-out attire is just different than most, but some of the outfits I've seen out on Friday and Saturday nights in Gainesville are beyond wretched. In my tradition of trying to better the taste of the Gainesville population, I'll describe some outfits I don't think you should wear out.

No. 1 and my least favorite: the pairing of really short shorts with platform or stiletto heels and a somewhat flowy, usually backless top. I don't care if you are tall and have the best body around - anybody in this outfit just looks like a cheap prostitute. I don't think that's your intention, but try to leave a little to the imagination. If you're going to wear a backless top, cover up those legs. If you're going to wear short shorts, wear a top that doesn't risk falling off or flapping open while you dance. And if you pair it with those high heels? Well, don't say I didn't warn about all that unwanted male attention.

No. 2: borrowed clothes from friends that don't fit. I'm all for borrowing your friends' clothes; I've done it more times than I can count. But I don't care how cute a dress or top is - if you're going to spend the night pulling it up because it's a little too big, it's a burden. If your shirt is too short, your jeans too tight and your love handles are out to play, trust me, guys will notice. Wear clothes that fit and look good on you, whether they're the latest trend or not.

No. 3: Going back to looking like a prostitute: To girls who wear too much make-up when you go out, please stop. Look in the mirror before you go out and ask yourself, "Do I look like I just put the entire Maybelline line on my face?" If the answer is yes, grab some makeup remover and take it off.

Those are my three pet peeves of clubbing in Gainesville, and boys, I have to say I'm proud of you. Of all the guys I've seen clubbing, most of you dress with class and finesse, at least enough to slide under my judgmental fashion radar.

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