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Tuesday, May 07, 2024

For starters, we'd like to award UF and the Gainesville area for their efforts to "go green" with a we-don't-know-what-sustainability-means-but-we'll-do-it-if-Luda-does LAUREL. The local community has made sincere efforts to be environmentally conscious, and we're all for communities that are pro-Earth.

Gainesville Regional Utilities and Regional Transit System have both publicized their support for alternative energy sources (at least they're trying), and both the city and the county require businesses to recycle. Plus, we all know how bicycle crazy UFers are - just ask people who have walked through Turlington with their heads down around noon. They'll have the handlebar bruises to prove it.

Next, we're going to loft a win-or-lose-we-still-booze-because-it's-great-to-be-a-Florida-Gator DART to everyone who left our game against Mississippi last week dragging their feet and conspiring to start a Web site to give our offensive coordinator the proverbial axe. It's only one game, people. Rather than whining about play calls and a few missed tackles, be grateful the loss happened this early in the season. Just because we won two years ago doesn't mean we're entitled to jack squat this year.

Moving on, now we'd like to give a we-like-you-less-than-Wal-Mart-greeters-but-more-than-telemarketers LAUREL to the voter registration volunteers on campus. You're out there providing a service - you know it, and we appreciate it. You guys and girls are out there in the trenches pestering people for the greater good, and you sweat like dogs while you do it. Thanks for trying to knock some sense into the rest of us with your clipboards.

Now it's time to fling an if-the-economy's-so-damn-bad-then-just-study-in-your-apartment DART at UF students who insist on studying abroad - but in places that aren't as "nice" - during a legitimate national financial crisis. Central America doesn't want your pity-study money. It might be too expensive to go to Madrid, but who says you have to go anywhere? Maybe you should think about taking a travel chill pill, wait a semester or two and then skip off to London. For those of you who don't have a few semesters left: Get over it, and get a job. You don't have money to spend anyway.

That'll do for this week, kiddies. Have a safe weekend, and go Gators.

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