It is understandable that, in the heat of national debates over health care, CIA interrogations and the way forward from a crimson summer in Afghanistan, we have not talked enough about the recent facelift of the Reitz Union food court.
Though the greasy calzones, chewy pasta and "fuhgidabowdit" attitude of Capeesh will be missed, surely the most grievous injury to our campus cuisine is the elimination of Wendy's Old Fashioned Hamburgers. An alternate hamburger hawker, Cheeburger Cheeburger Express, now stands in shoes it could not possibly hope to fill.
Despite my initial pledge to boycott Cheeburger, I caved in to the twin evils of proximity and hunger and sampled the chain's menu a few days ago. I had their "classic" combination meal which included a 5.5-ounce cheeseburger, French fries and a soft drink. The hamburger was passable, and I appreciated that there were a number of options of cheese and other toppings. At that, dear reader, my praise ends.
My meal - the smallest available - carried an $8 price tag. Should the university not be providing more affordable options to students as our Bright Futures dim and economic hardship stalks the land?
These prices are exorbitant compared to other fast-food offerings. The Angus 1/3 pound hamburger meal from McDonald's is nearly two dollars less and includes a larger portion of French fries and unlimited beverage refills. Perhaps the biggest hole in my heart is shaped like that miracle of the fast-food world: the Wendy's baked potato. This satisfying menu item was always an affordable and delectable choice. The financial viability of grabbing a bite to eat on campus has not suffered such a dire blow since Burger King's dual monarchy fell and the Racquet Club location was replaced with the pricey Chili's Too.
I have mentioned these objections to a handful of Cheeburger defenders and they have, without fail, brought up the milkshakes. They may well be quite extraordinary. I will never know, however, because they cost about five dollars for a small cup. I have no problem believing that my milkshake is made with genuine Edy's ice cream if I could buy a half gallon of Edy's for the same price. Give me a large Frosty and three dollars in change any day.
In short, a hamburger ordered and received within the span of two minutes is a part of the American cultural fabric - but it can only be so good. There is a Styrofoam ceiling which all of the Angus beef and provolone cheese in the world cannot shatter. It seems, however, that prices are nigh limitless. Gators have a taste for the finer things in life, but let us unite to save the few extra value menus left on campus. If we do not, it is only a matter of time until we are bringing mustard sandwiches for lunch and eating them in front of a new Stonewood Tavern Express.
Zach Mayo is a political science and history senior.
