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Thursday, March 28, 2024

Connected, feel free to talk now. Anticipation, hilarity, disappointment. Next.  Disgust. Next. Repeat.

Welcome to the roller coaster that is Chatroulette, the best, and arguably weirdest, thing to come out of the Internet in a while.

You simply sign on, and the site connects you to a random video-chat partner.  Click “next” when you get bored or creeped out, and you’re instantly connected with someone else.

After work last Friday, I came home to my roommates on the couch, Macbooks in laps the way I left them. Except they were wearing scarves as turbans, giant sunglasses and way too much makeup, giggling like kindergartners and screeching, “Ew, next!”

Intrigued, I joined them and soon I was dressed like Lady GaGa chatting with people from Chicago to Moscow, Chile to Connecticut. About every fourth next is a shot of someone’s member, and there’s of course the “show tits” requests, but the raunchiness is part of what makes Chatroulette so much fun.

There’s just no telling what “next” will bring – one chatter was doing what looked like the dirty with a stuffed raccoon, one was dressed in a full-on furry suit – but most people were like us, just bored.

We met a Naval Academy midshipman who was chatting on duty, a redheaded computer engineering major from Indiana and a man in China who spoke little English and couldn’t, for the life of him, figure out what “fart” meant. We even met some fellow Gators whose dingy walls and shoddy furniture we recognized as Rawlings dorm.

Like LOLcats and Texts from Last Night, Chatroulette is a great way to waste time. But there’s more to this latest novelty because it shows us humanity in its oddest, most unfiltered moments. We’re thrust randomly into face-to-face conversation with a stranger, in a setting stripped of any rules of social interaction, which gives us the ability to connect with others, to anonymously act like a fool and to do so without leaving home. It’s everything we love about the Internet.

You may still be weary, but trust me, you’ll convert. Don’t expect to make lifelong friends on Chatroulette, but do take advantage of this opportunity to be absolutely ridiculous.

Here’s how:

Dress up.  Wigs, fake eyelashes, sunglasses and scarves are necessary accessories for success in the realm of Chatroulette. The better the costume, the better the reaction, and the easier it will be to start a conversation with a faraway stranger.

Make things up. We’re all on Chatroulette for the same reason: to be entertained. Exaggerating, lying and acting like someone you’re not is all part of the game. Think of this as your show.

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Have a gimmick. Ask your partner what his or her favorite song is and ask them to dance with you to it. Get out Trivial Pursuit or Balderdash and ask them to play.

Give everyone a chance. Even if your partner isn’t dressed up or he or she looks totally boring, don’t “next” them right away. When there are none of the regular boundaries, you’d be surprised what someone may have to say. 

Chat in groups. This is the perfect activity for roommate bonding. It’s more fun to hassle and tease fellow chatters when you have someone to laugh with. Plus, for whatever reason, we got “nexted” fewer times when we chatted together.

And lastly, fear not the masturbators. “Next” that anonymous penis filling the screen and move on to your next Chatroulette adventure – unless, of course, you’re into that kind of thing.

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