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Sunday, May 19, 2024

The Board of Trustees did its job. Instructed by President Machen to (as quoted in the Alligator) “wrassle” with the new student fees, the board did just that. What is “wrassle,” you say?

According to Urban Dictionary, “wrassle” is one of three things (though the first I find out of context in this scenario): 1. To wrestle in a sexual way; 2. To nail or hammer down; to get done or to smack down; and (my personal favorite) 3. To wrestle your opponent into submission and penetrate his/her colon with the thumb of your free hand.

Now, I understand if the president was referring to wrestling with the new fee, i.e., considering, debating, having deep thought over. But wrestling it into submission? I’ve only been studying political science for three years, but that doesn’t sound like a characteristic of democracy to me.

It begs the question: Is UF a representative democracy or simply a tyrannical autocracy? Or is it an oligarchy run by the Board of Trustees? I understand that in every government, coercion is usually implemented to get things done. And I also understand that money makes the world go ‘round, and we’re in a budget crisis, and SG money doesn’t grow on trees, and students like cushy services.

But what happens when the representatives elected by 25 percent of the Student Body, including our Student Body president, disagree with the severity of the new fees, and the Board of Trustees passes them all anyway? If we are truly in control of our government we should have a mechanism for relief.

America has the court system, the right to peacefully assemble and the right to petition our government. The UF equivalent would be the legislature (SG) passing a bill, the president (Bernie Machen) vetoing it, and the Supreme Court (Board of Trustees) writing and passing a new bill regardless of what the people say. Definitely not democratic or very polite.

There is a term in economics for the price fluctuation of goods and services. It’s either an elastic or inelastic demand, the latter meaning that, regardless of the price, people will still pay it because they have to, like the cost of a life-saving drug.

Apparently, we here at UF are facing an inelastic demand when it comes to student fees. The number of courses we take determines the price we pay in fees—which is, in itself, an irony, because a larger course load makes someone less likely to have free time to be spent on services provided by student fees.

Our only other option is to transfer, drop out or take fewer courses. Taking fewer courses means spending more on living expenses and tuition during the extra years tacked onto undergrad.

If I were an administrator, I would hope for the quickest turnaround rate possible—get the freshmen in, get them out in four years or less and move on to bigger and better things. But then again, I’m not an administrator.

I’m not saying there isn’t a need for increased student fees. But isn’t passing it without student approval akin to forcibly “wrassling” us to the ground until we pay up?

What’s the point of parading around as a democracy if the important decisions are left to an independent board? I would just as rather be told up front what I was dealing with, because if it looks like a dictator, smells like a dictator, acts like a dictator...well, my bet is on it being a dictator. But that’s just me.

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A final word to the administration: Go easy on our colons. Please.

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