Something happened during my normal volunteering session the other day. We were having a rotation in the tech lab where the students have to share computers since we have about one to every two members. One of the girls came up to me, almost in tears and said “Ms. Amber, my partner keeps trying to play boy games on the computer. Tell her that we aren’t supposed to play those!” I glanced over and saw that the ‘perpetrator’ was playing a two player racing game.
Well, besides being a bit shocked that a 7-year-old had already been so affected by the gendering of games (as if the fact that the girls think they can’t wear sneakers unless they’re sparkly or pink isn’t enough) it got me thinking about gendering our speech as adults and how our daily interactions with children can greatly affect the outcome of their perception of gender roles.
For example, when kindergarteners receive awards at the end of a school year and the girls receive “Best Hair” or “Prettiest Singing Voice” and the boys receive “Most Athletic” or “Strongest.” We are immediately setting those students up for a lifetime of pre-perceived roles.
More so, when interacting with kids, when we say things like “Johnny, be careful not to hurt Melissa” or we encourage speech such as “you run like a girl” and “don’t be a sissy” we are instantly giving in to gendered speech that is easily avoidable. In order to combat gendered speech I believe it’s important instead to treat each student individually and stick up for the boy and girls in an equal way.
Lastly, when we are giving young girls suggestions of what to dress like or which toys to play with we must be careful to not always say “let me sign you on to Barbie.com” and instead give both girls and boys options and choices that are inclusive to both genders. When I ask my students what they want to do, I phrase it always in generalizations such as “Do you want red, purple, green or pink?” and “What website do you want to go on- cool math or Disney channel?”
As we move into our adult years and begin to either have children or interact with children in our jobs or in a volunteer setting, it’s important to continually pioneer an effort to be inclusive of both genders in a way that does not give in to systematic gender roles, and instead allows students to make their own choice as to their likes, dislikes and ultimately who they are.
