Being 20-something and in a relationship isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Yes, it can be wonderful. But with one extreme comes the other. Because, let's be honest, 99.999% of relationships aren't rainbows and butterflies all the time. We deal with real life s***. We get irrationally angry, overly upset and make stupid decisions. We're 20-something and that's what we do. We're still emotional wrecks; we still haven't figured out what we want, and we don't yet know exactly what we need. We are working on it, but in the interim we should stop believing that the "right" relationship will be perfect. It won't be.
Here’s the truth about being 20-something and in a relationship.
You’re going to argue. A lot. The stress of college, work and growing up is enough to make you pull your hair out. And chances are, after a couple of fights, you will- but don’t sweat it, it happens to the best of us.
You’re going to wonder if you’re “missing out.” You’ll wonder if your past, a few more parties, a few more hookups or a lot of college experiences are worth ending it. You’ll only be 20 once, right? Sure, but you don’t come across true love every day either.
You’re going to make mistakes. Look, we’re 20-something. We haven’t maximized our self-control, dignity, and self-consciousness. Don’t be so hard on yourself- if it’s love, you’ll make it through.
You’re going to disagree about family/friends. Let’s be real, there’s always going to be that one potential mother-in-law or club-hopping happy best friend that you just don’t like. Stop reading advice articles that tell you to “deal with it.” No. Solve the issue and move on.
You’re going to fight about money. We don’t have full savings accounts yet. We aren’t immersed in our careers yet. We’re working weird hours around classes. Money will be an issue. Just try to remember that the world doesn’t revolve around it.
You’re going to communicate poorly. We don't have it all figured out yet. And, for now, “f*** you” is sometimes the best argument we can come up with. That’s okay. We will build a vocabulary and develop a moral compass later.
You’re going to be selfish. You haven’t had the chance yet to just “do you.” You went straight from your parents to your s/o. And you aren’t yet programmed to be altruistic — that will come later. For the time being, try to use the compassion you do have to work through the hurt you cause.
You’re going to get hurt. Don’t avoid it; don’t try to pretend it won’t happen. It will. Be prepared for a little heartache and little compromising. Whatever the problem, it’s only temporary.
And the best part is that the “right” relationship is worth it all. It won’t be perfect. But if you’ve made it through all of the imperfections alive, you can make it through anything. Maybe I’m a hopeless romantic. Maybe I should be a bit more cynical about love. Or maybe I’ve just realized that years down the road I won’t be counting the one night stands and number of vodka bottles I killed. I’ll be counting the moments spent with my loved ones.
