Bear with us, fellow Gators: one more day. One more long, uncomfortably-balmy-considering-it’s-almost-March Friday afternoon, and we’ll all be free — at least for the next week.
Well friends, the time has come to raise the roof and have some fun. Throw away the work to be done, and let the music play on. Everybody sing, everybody dance and lose yourselves in the wild romance that is...
Friday: Great day of the week, or greatest? Friday is the day the shackles of the 9-to-5 workday are temporarily lifted from our weary limbs, and we are free to do whatever craft, hedonistic activity or rejuvenating escape we see fit to pursue. It is also, of course, the day we run Darts & Laurels, which is not only our gift to the city of Gainesville, but presents a weekly opportunity for us to work through our unresolved and conflicted feelings on the events that transpired during the week. With that far too confessional and revealing introduction out of the way, it’s time for… Darts & Laurels
We now return to our regularly scheduled programming: After two weeks of nothing but Darts OR Laurels, we’re happy to say that the past week not only dished out the good and the bad in equal measure, but did so with gusto. For a change, we’ve actually found ourselves with too much to cover. So without further ado, here’s this week’s edition of …
We’re tired, Gator Nation. On top of last week’s abysmal, regrettable series of unfortunate events, the Spring semester has gone into full swing, and we’re tired. Oh so very, very tired.
We’re not going to lie to you readers of the finest newspaper collegiate journalism has to offer: It’s been a pretty godawful, downcast week.
As the first week of the new year draws to a close, so too does the first week of Spring semester. As anyone who has ever picked up an Alligator on a Friday could tell you, this means it’s time for the most beloved of traditions, the one thing that keeps the Opinions section sane after a week of depressing headlines and deadlines… Darts & Laurels.
Well, finals are now upon us. As many of you grab your face and cover your mouth in disbelief, curl your hair, bite your nails or indulge in other popular nervous habits of choice, take refuge in the knowledge that we’re still here, and yes, Darts & Laurels is still around to provide comfort to the afflicted.
On any given Friday, this would be the space where we make a witty aside or use a semi-obscure pop-cultural reference to introduce that week’s edition of Darts & Laurels. Well, we hate to disappoint, but we have nothing of the sort this week. Nothing. Zilch. Nada. Just letters, words and sentences to fill up space until we get to the main attraction…which is Darts & Laurels. Yup.
Homecoming is many things for many people. It’s a time for reflection and nostalgia; a time for celebration; and, if you’re going to Gator Growl, a time for mediocre "indie" acts, former CW stars and rappers who released their best work 10 years ago. OH! *cue Andrew Dice Clay hand motion* Just kidding, T.I., we loved last year’s "About the Money," and we still love you.
Halloween is a time when ghouls, ghosts and ghastly figures prowl the streets and mischief rules above all else. By most accounts, Oct. 31 is the spookiest day of the year. We don’t really see how that’s possible, given the third Republican debate aired on Wednesday. OH! *cue Andrew Dice Clay hand motion* With that cheap jab out of the way, it’s time for this year’s scariest edition of…
Darts & Laurels? With school in high gear, more like Charts & Quarrels, are we right? But seriously, thank goodness Halloween is right around the corner, because we could all use a break. Even though we still have a week to go, in the meantime you can hold yourself over with this week’s edition of… Darts & Laurels.
What do you know? It’s already Oct. 16. One moment you’re a beaming freshman full of life, optimism and drive, and with the blink of an eye, you’re already a jaded, sleep-deprived, nerve-ridden upperclassman waiting to get your next coffee fix. Be careful in these upcoming weeks, and don’t let time slip through your fingers too easily. With that said, it’s time for …
In 1998, DMX asked the nation, "Where my dogs at?" In 2015, we can’t help but make a similar inquiry: "Where our Gators at?" Before you answer that question, it’s time for this week’s edition of…
Darts & Laurels: wonderful tradition for Friday editions of the Alligator or insidious plot to influence the hearts and minds of Gainesville residents and UF students? You tell us, because even we aren’t sure anymore. With that inquiry out of the way, it’s time for this week’s edition of…
Although no one currently on the Alligator staff was in college in 2011, we feel confident in assuming that at some point in the year, a joke was made at the expense of "Friday" by Rebecca Black to introduce that week’s edition of Darts & Laurels. Although we would not stoop to such comedic lows, that isn’t going to stop us from using this information as an incredibly strained way to introduce this week’s edition of…
Another day, another dollar. Another week… another five dollars? Ignoring our poor excuse for an intro, it’s time for this week’s edition of…
Acclaimed poet Busta Rhymes, the man who delivered the best verse on A Tribe Called Quest’s seminal album "The Low End Theory," once wrote that "My making it is a combination of grinding, grinding, grinding and being lucky enough to finally get a shot."
This week, like all other weeks, was a week. It had seven days, each 24 hours in length, and it probably went by far too quickly for your tastes. Like other weeks, it has a Friday, which happens to be today. On Fridays, the Alligator usually runs a piece called Darts and Laurels. By that logic, it would mean that it’s time for…
Greetings and salutations, Gainesville! We welcome you to this most August occasion by which we end our Summer circulation of the Alligator and prepare our inkstained (not really because everything’s digital nowadays) hands for the coming of our Fall semester. But before we go, we must leave our valued audience for our even more valued swimsuits and margaritas and leave you with this final summer edition of…Darts and Laurels.
Solutions by The State News
