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Wednesday, October 20, 2021

Opinion | Darts Laurels

Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  DARTS LAURELS

Craft beer, free speech and astronomical discoveries in this week's Darts & Laurel

Turns out we were lucky that it was just really, really cold last week. This time around, we got a hefty dose of bleak and rainy on top of the frigid air we’ve unfortunately had to get used to. But if Florida really is as weird as everybody else in the country seems to think — see Jon Stewart’s fierce description of us from Tuesday’s “The Daily Show” — it should be unbearably hot and humid soon. To celebrate getting one day closer to that time, here’s your damp-yet-bitterly-cold edition of... 


Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  DARTS LAURELS

Darts & Laurels: bombings, same-sex marriage and pub subs

Good morning, Gators, and happy Friday. If you’re reading this, congratulations! You’ve survived Thursday’s unnaturally frigid weather and lived to fight another day. Presumably, you made it through syllabus week as well. For that, give yourself a pat on the back and take a gander at this last-day-of-the-first-week-of-school edition of... 


Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  DARTS LAURELS

Kim K., Elizabeth Warren and Breitbart in Darts & Laurels

We’ve had a lot of highs and lows this week. An intellectual high to the futuristic feat of landing a rocket on a comet, and a mind-numbing low to Kim Kardashian’s oily butt that “broke the Internet.” But we have to focus. To warm up for a much anticipated game Saturday against South Carolina, we bring you a please-please-let-the-stars-align-so-we-can-have-a-shot-at-going-to-the-SEC-championship edition of...


Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  DARTS LAURELS

Jon Stewart and pot in Darts & Laurels for 11/7/2014

Well, depending on your political leanings, this week could have gone one of two ways. No. 1: You were happy Tuesday night. No. 2: You have or will start drinking to forget and not stop until the 2016 election season. So, with that in mind, here’s your politics-never-stop edition of...


Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  DARTS LAURELS

Uber, Lindsey Graham, TLC in Darts & Laurels 10/31/2014

So we can’t pretend this week was the best, with Ebola panic continuing, rockets blowing up and midterms still killing our souls. But’s lets focus on the positive! We’ve got our first real cold front coming through, meaning Halloween and Fest will feel like fall instead of a sweltering rainforest. So here’s to your that-eighth-candy-bar-is-definitely-a-good-idea edition of...


Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  DARTS LAURELS

Politico, Marvel and Guilfoyle in Darts & Laurels 10/24/2014

There was a lot to talk about this week. We watched as our gubernatorial candidates exchanged personal insults and faced awkward disagreements. Then, university officials released 175 pages of documentation surrounding the sexual assault allegations against Gators quarterback Treon Harris. Here’s your whew-what-a-week edition of...


Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  DARTS LAURELS

Scalia, SCOTUS and Warren Buffet in Darts & Laurels

It’s been a newsworthy week. We went from heralding backup Gators quarterback Treon Harris’ commandeering of a clutch win against Tennessee to vetting details of his sexual assault investigation. Wearily, we’re happy to bring you a We-hope-the-investigation-is-carried-out-fairly-and-hopefully-this-is-the-last-time-a-Gator-is-accused-of-sexual-assault edition of...


Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  DARTS LAURELS

Pam Bondi, Apple and FSU in this weelk's Darts & Laurels

Throughout her time in office, Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi has been on a crusade against gay marriage. Bondi has represented the state of Florida in five separate lawsuits to argue in defense of the amendment passed by Florida voters in 2008 that banned same-sex marriage. In all five cases, the judge ruled against her and said the ban was incompatible with the U.S. Constitution. Bondi has also fought to ensure that these rulings allowing same-sex marriage in Florida remain unenforced until the Supreme Court rules on the issue. Bondi herself is currently in her third marriage. Bondi should change course and fight for the right of gay Floridians to have a third marriage, too. A just-give-up-already DART goes to Pam Bondi.


Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  DARTS LAURELS

Rain, CVS and the Gator Nation in today's Darts & Laurels

The big story at UF this week was the cancellation of the inaugural game of the 2014 Gator football season against Idaho. After hours of lightning delays, Gator fans got a small, exciting taste of the upcoming season when Valdez Showers — how appropriate — ran back the opening kickoff for 64 yards. Unfortunately, the game was immediately postponed, and eventually canceled, after more lightning was spotted nearby. For making The Gator Nation wait a whole extra week to start the football season, we give a really-bad-timing DART to Florida thunderstorms.


Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  DARTS LAURELS

Darts and Laurels: Emmy's, Hannah Montana, political ads and ESPN

The Emmys were on Monday, and AMC smash hit “Breaking Bad” cleaned up for the fifth year in a row. Bryan Cranston, Aaron Paul and Anna Gunn each won in their respective categories, as did Moira Walley-Beckett for writing “Ozymandias,” the show’s heart-stopping third-to-last episode. The show also won in the Outstanding Drama Series category, beating out other excellent series, including “Game of Thrones,” “True Detective” and “House of Cards.” “Breaking Bad” is undoubtedly one of the most innovative, complex and entertaining shows in modern TV history. It’s only fitting that Walter White goes out on top. We award a Crystal-Blue-Persuasion LAUREL to the Emmy voters. 


Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  DARTS LAURELS

Darts & Laurels 7/17/14

We hate to start Darts & Laurels off on a bad note, but animal cruelty is something this editorial board passionately stands against. Two Clay County girls are being investigated by Florida law enforcement officers after they posted a video of themselves burning a Gopher tortoise and torturing it to death. The Gopher tortoise, which is an endangered species in Florida, was lit on fire several times as the girls filmed it and said things like: “Burn baby, burn baby,” and “Now you’re scared of us, huh?” The girls also repeatedly threw it against the concrete and stomped on it, crushing its shell.


Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  DARTS LAURELS

Darts & Laurels 7/9/14

If you’re reading this, congratulations: You haven’t been struck by lightning! But then again, the summer is young, and many more sudden thunderstorms are waiting to ruin your shoes/hair/day.


Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  DARTS LAURELS

Darts & Laurels 7/3/14

It’s Summer B 2014, and freshmen desperation is in the air: You can find them moving in herds of 50 across Midtown, clogging the Starbucks on campus and wearing head-to-toe orange and blue. This isn’t a dig, though, class of 2018. We were in your (brand-new) shoes at one point, and we’re imparting some wisdom to you: Nobody is too cool for an umbrella. Carry an umbrella. And call your mom once a while. 



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