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Tuesday, August 05, 2025

El Caimán

Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  EDITORIALS

Myths Un-Mythed: invulnerability

Mar. 28, 2016

We live in a world full of myths. Never mind the tales of full-grown, orphaned men laying waste to our city streets in fighting over who can pull off the better tights-and-cape combo, or the tales of bewildered country leaders decrying man-induced climate change a hoax by bringing a snowball onto the Senate floor during a committee hearing. (Wait, that might have actually happened last year with a certain Sen. Jim Inhofe, R-Okla.)

Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  COLUMNS

Column: Should you cut smut like "slut"? It's a rut

Mar. 28, 2016

Yes, I am alive. Despite my hilariously controversial column last week, I emerged from the backlash unscathed. I don’t take the criticism personally — I find it hard to take offense from peasants. Despite this, the folks who responded negatively were aggressive. I don’t feel comfortable walking through campus anymore; I’m afraid I’ll be assaulted by a radical follower of the #StopMichael movement. So, I’ve shaved my beard and placed a paper bag over my head to hide from potential assassins. 

Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  COLUMNS

Guest column: Thinking about a student credit card?

Mar. 28, 2016

College is already hard enough as it is. Why would you even think about something like a student credit card to add to the number of things you have to be responsible for? Well, just like your degree will be a part of you long after you graduate, so will your credit score. A student credit card can be your ticket to graduating with an excellent credit score, which will leave you with plenty of handy financial options.

Florida Alligator
OPINION  |  EDITORIALS

Editorial: The 'Birdie' supremacy

Mar. 27, 2016

Free birds, Bernie supporters and Portland, Oregon: The only thing possibly more hippie-liberal is Bob Marley delivering a Hendrix-signed guitar to Che Guevara while driving a quinoa-and-kale-fueled smart car littered with “Imagine” and “co-exist” paraphernalia. Clearly the latter only resides in the daydreams of those who take bathroom breaks during work at precisely 4:20 p.m. However, the former actually took place on Friday: A cute, little bird landed on Bernie’s stage and then flew atop his podium during his rally speech. Some view the appearance of this bird as a sign of providence, of Bernie’s pure-hearted candidacy, Mother Nature’s Princess Leia appealing to Bernie to say, “Help me Bernie-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope”: not us at the Alligator.

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