"Functioning robots are all alike; every malfunctioning robot malfunctions in its own way."
Space. The final frontier. Where no one can hear you scream, and where everyone's favorite mustached avenger must return to once again save the princess on the back of a dinosaur-dragon and get a piece of that cake! Finally.
Dear readers, I have enjoyed my time so far serving as an Avenue columnist. By which, I mean that I enjoy getting my opinions and musings out there so I can entertain some bored students who just finished the crossword in the classifieds section. However, I will be taking my column in a different direction this time. Instead of entertaining you people with (mostly) true stories about being bored and anti-social, I will use my position as a semi-legitimate column writer to warn one and all about a very grave threat to our collective well-being: douchebags.
Want to learn how to grow weeds? Have you been itching to use your green thumb this summer? Then I'm here to tell you that it's not only easy, it's fun and affordable.
“I drive a Honda Fit, which is ironic,” Chris Cope said.
“If you want a revolution, the only solution: evolve, gotta evolve.”
“You’re staying in Gainesville for the summer?” This is the last thing my friend said to me after I had finished helping him move out of his apartment a couple of weeks ago.
Dust off your morals and pray for calamity. Ellis Amburn, former editor to the stars and author of seven biographies, is just one of the 30 writers coming to a workshop at the UF.
Just when the e-dust settled and pretty much everyone forgot what the “old Facebook” looked like, the unstoppable website did it again. The company’s new changes to profiles’ information section strip users of any sort of individuality and beg the question: Really?!
As the semester comes to a close, many students try to go out with a bang, while others, with a hit.
It’s five minutes until your next class. You have just come out of a three-hour-block and now have to run across campus to present a project. By the way, your stomach is growling.
• Messy pranks:
For those of you left crying in your exam-induced state of self-hatred and last-minute studying, here’s what you might have missed in the entertainment realm.
The end of the semester is just on the tip of the horizon. It’s so close you can almost taste your celebration drinks. But, hold up! There’s some major housekeeping that needs to be done, and that my friends, is registration. Whether registering for summer or fall courses, ISIS has been bombarded with many trying to sort out their lives—at least for a semester. Although tailoring your schedule to what you may think is an acceptable time to get out of bed, other factors obviously have to be taken into account—like the professor. Boosting help with your research for a Cinderella-fit of a schedule is the ever so reliable Rate My Professors Web site.
Standing on a squishy purple bubble about 3 feet around, you raise one foot in the air and twist your torso while keeping your balance. By the instructor’s command, you flip over the half-shaped ball and start doing push-ups with the bubble side on the floor and the hard plastic side facing up. The unique half-ball/half-platform wobbles while you push up and down engaging your core and pushing your abs to the limit.
Apple is hoping cell phones, laptops, digital cameras, iPods, PDAs and Kindles just won’t be enough.
For 30 seconds, you and a partner are shoulder- pressing a 30-pound tire together over your head. Just when your shoulders can’t take it anymore, you’re running 40 yards at full speed. Your jog to the next station is your break, only to throw a 10-pound medicine ball as hard as you can to your partner after squatting and then lunging forward with it. You throw back and forth with your partner for 50 seconds.
Welcome back, Florida. It’s been about four months since we’ve been graced by your usual, bright and shining self. Our long-awaited warm weather is finally upon us, and the forecast for upcoming weeks is looking mighty delicious. Highs will be topping out in the 70s and lows, just on the brim of the 50s. So sayonara Jack Frost. It’s time to party poolside.
Mr. Pibb and Red Vines? Crazy delicious.
You may be freshly bronzed from those Spring Break fiascoes in the sun, but soon the honeymoon will be as done as your reputation from that night out in Cabo. However, your tan (existing as your one bit of dignity from that vacation) will soon disappear—causing you to resemble more of a “Twilight” vampire than Jessica Alba’s doppelganger.
Solutions by The State News
