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Tuesday, November 28, 2023

"Rich Brooks is the worst football coach in the nation, bar none."

This was one of the last comments left on, a Web site dedicated to pursuing the unemployment of Kentucky?s football coach.

The site all but died after Brooks led the Wildcats to a bowl win last season, but we at the alligatorSports Brand Picks Column don?t feel Brooks was given enough praise for turning his program around.

We turned to Ryan Parker, the singer of,C which includes the lyrics, BWe Love Rich Brooks dot com is the website [sic] to bookmark to show our pride and support, Cause he?s created excitement that?s usually reserved for the basketball court.C

For the past few years, Parker - a Kentucky native and Wildcats fan - has used his guitar and humor to honor his favorite sports teams, and his songs have been met with acclaim on the Internet.

Listening to his fellow fans bash Brooks led Parker to release the song on his Web site,

BA lot of people wanted him out of there, but a lot of people believed in him, too, including myself,C Parker said. BI thought this year would be a good year, so I put this song out there before the season.C

While he did show his support for Brooks, he wasn?t always on board with the coach.

The 2004 season was especially poor, as the Wildcats managed just two wins, over Indiana and Vanderbilt.

BWhen they lost to Ohio University at home, that was probably my lowest point,C Parker said. BI doubted him a little bit, but he rebounded.C

When UF fans invade Kentucky this weekend, it will be a common sight for Parker, who works with several Gators fans in his job as a software engineer.

Thanks to Kentucky?s fast start this year, Parker has avoided some of the usual razzing from his co-workers.

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BI think they actually realize that Kentucky is decent this year, rather than the total disrespect I usually get,C he said. BI don?t think they think that Florida will come in and pummel Kentucky like usual. It should be a good game.C

The Wildcats aren?t the only team Parker sings about. The Cincinnati Reds and Cincinnati Bengals are his two other main topics.

He has written songs like BBlame It On A BengalC in reference to the team?s many arrests over the last few years, and he was shown singing BWho Dey DayC during a Monday Night Football game between the Bengals and Baltimore Ravens.

He was also invited to sing at a Reds? Hall of Fame induction banquet.

BThat was the coolest thing I have done because I got to meet all of these former Reds - people that I watched growing up,C he said.

Parker has been a hit at Wildcats tailgates, but his musical talent has been outshined by that of UK safety Marcus McClinton, whose rap song BWe BelieveC is played in Commonwealth Stadium before each game.

BIt?s not bad,C Parker said laughingly of the song. BThey did a good job, so I can?t say anything bad about it. They?re trying.C

At least Kentucky football is good for something.

On to the picks!

Leading off with a 38-22 record is Bryan BI?m not secure enough in my manhood to name my fantasy team 'Lola Bunny?C Jones. Bryan?s self-esteem took a big hit recently when he realized the song he had been singing for two weeks was called BA Bay Bay,C not BBang, Bang, Bang.C

Batting second with a 37-23 record is Brian BI think Sarah Silverman is the greatest thing the Jewish people have ever accomplishedC Steele, who doesn?t mind being in love with a woman who resorts to (pretend?) licking her dog?s butt on television for humor. Steele would dive right in for a passionate kiss immediately after, and then call it delicious.

In third at 33-27 and about to fall off the leaderboard because East Carolina blows is Mike BMikeC McCall, who spent his Friday night at an exhilarating high school football game. Afterward, he made a break for his parents? liquor cabinet and a hidden stash of Zima and played World of Warcraft until bedtime.

Also in third, with a record of 33-27, is Jenna BWhy is everyone all worked up over The U? It?s just a letter of the alphabetC Marina, who is angry that the start of basketball season is near because it sends her into fits of separation anxiety from Joakim Noah.

In last with a piss-poor record of 32-28 is Nick BDon?t call me Andy MilonakisC Zaccardi. Nick made sure the alligatorSports staff would fly through Chicago en route to Lexington this weekend so he could sneak away and offer Ron Zook an oily, full-body massage.

Lville-Conn Lville Lville Lville Lville Lville Lville
Tenn-Bama Tenn Tenn Bama Tenn Bama Tenn
Kan-Col Col Kan Col Col Col Col
Mich-Ill Ill Mich Mich Mich Ill Mich
Cal-UCLA Cal Cal Cal Cal Cal Cal

UF-UK BJ: UF 35-24; JM: 30-24; MM: UF 35-17; BS: UF 38-21; NZ: UF 42-38; RP: UK 40-34

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