It's sad to think that only a year ago this week, we were all still on a national-championship-winning high thanks to the UF men's basketball team. Despite the depressingly absent University Avenue celebration this year - and the corresponding embarrassing loss Tuesday to the University of Massachusetts that had us drinking for an entirely different reason - we soldiered on. So for a quick pick-me-up before you start the weekend, join us for this week's edition of…
We couldn't possibly start off without giving a required so-where-exactly-do-you-live? DART to student Sen. Sheldon Nagesh for submitting so many different addresses on his various Student Government applications that an actual hearing was required to determine (in a ridiculous Where's Waldo?-like fashion) where he rests his head at night. Thanks for highlighting the never-ending problems within an already unproductive and divisive senate, Sheldon. On the plus side, his SG buddies know what to get him for a birthday present - a GPS system to help him find home, it's the one accessory every monkey-suit-wearing senator could appreciate as much as a shiny new BlackBerry.
In other legal news, a do-you-not-make-enough-money-selling-subpar-yet-mandatory-course-materials? DART goes to Faulkner Press for bringing a lawsuit against Einstein's Notes for allegedly stealing copyrighted notes from a UF professor who teaches the all-important Wildlife Issues course. Granted, it is a risky way to do business that occasionally treads on the line of copyright law, but don't students have to buy your overpriced, horribly designed software anyway? At least now you know how it feels to get ripped off, something students forced to buy your software know all about. And considering that a federal court has already said that students' notes are not a professor's intellectual property, we're guessing your bully tactics won't work anyway.
In keeping with crooked corporations, we throw out a those-overworked-and-underpaid-latte-artists-deserve-better-for-keeping-us-alert DART to none other than the coffee company everyone loves to hate: Starbucks Corp. A lawsuit filed in a U.S. District Court in Manhattan claims the coffee corporation owes at least $5 million to more than 2,000 workers who were forced to split their tips with shift managers. Starbucks also plans to appeal a San Diego Superior Court ruling last week that ordered them to pay back California baristas for their shared tips. Apparently, they would rather spend more money on court costs than just pay back the cash they owe to employees.
A medical-procedure-is-actually-not-the-government's-business DART goes to the Florida House of Representatives for passing a bill that would require women seeking an abortion to get an ultrasound and review or decline seeing the picture of the fetus. The House voted 70-45 to require doctors to perform an ultrasound, something that sounds too much like Big Brother interfering in what goes on at your doctor's office. The measure is just another conservative obstruction intended to prevent women from getting abortions.
Finally, we award a we're-happy-you're-not-letting-his-memory-fade LAUREL to Sally Dahlem, Gainesville Police Department Lt. Corey Dahlem's widow. Instead of accepting her status as a victim of tragedy, she stood outside the Reitz Union on Wednesday to speak to UF students and encourage them to use Nightlife Navigators, a Web site that provides information to remind students about alternative transportation options to reduce drunken driving. It takes real strength to step out of the sadness and work toward awareness. We can only hope UF students will take her words seriously.
