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Wednesday, June 19, 2024

No one likes a tease. 

So when you go to McDonald’s hoping for a juicy, meaty Big Mac only to later find out you have to settle for the four-piece chicken McNugget value meal because of any number of factors, you’ll probably be a little bit peeved.

The McNuggets are great, sure. With honey mustard, even better. But they aren’t what you had in mind—they don’t exactly satisfy your carnal urges for that big hunk of sweaty beef.

You wanted the whole enchilada, the whole shebang, the works.

The McNuggets are a second-base play at your failed attempt at rounding the bags.

You shouldn’t have to settle for those malformed pieces of processed chicken.

Because I’m sure deep down, you’re not “lovin’ it” either.

And boys, no one likes to be teased with a box of McNuggets when they come for the real deal.

That’s a happy meal no one’s happy about.

Because when I come to fork, I’m not interested in spooning.

Don’t get me wrong, I love cuddling under the covers with the cutest boy I’ve seen since Wednesday as much as the next gay guy.

In fact, most of the time I’d probably rather just cuddle or lay with you, talking, laughing, looking in to your eyes.

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Because, in moments like that, that’s when you can truly feel love.

But don’t tease me with a soft stroke of your hand behind my ear and a gentle caress of my hip bone after inviting me over well past nightfall to “hang out” for the first time since October.

We both know what we want in that situation.

And don’t worry. You’re not obligated to make me pancakes in the morning. You don’t even have to hold me close after blowing my mind and hopefully a little bit more.

I’ll probably have slipped out to take the Walk of Shame before you wake anyway.

No, this is the kind of invitation that we both know carries the subtle messages dripping of sex, only sex and, hopefully, a good amount of it.

Sometimes a boy just needs a night of no frills, gimmicks or games.

Because, and Cyndi Lauper would tell you, boys just want to have fun.

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