I’ve blown plenty of time on low-grade entertainment, and I’m ready to tack another three-and-a-half hours onto my lifelong tally this Saturday.
Florida players face tougher competition in practice than they will against Miami (Ohio), but I have to watch it and you’re going to anyway, so let’s find the silver lining instead of complaining about another weak season opener.
You can make almost anything fun if you try hard enough. For me, this game is all about focusing on a few players I want to see, and hopefully that will keep things interesting for three quarters or so.
It’s like how I know “The Switch” is probably a terrible movie, but I’ll end up watching because Jennifer Aniston is in it.
So who are the Jens for Florida-The Other Miami?
Omarius Hines and Chris Rainey.
Much like Aniston plays the same type of character in every movie, Urban Meyer wants to reuse two roles in his offense: those of Aaron Hernandez and Percy Harvin.
“Tight end” and “receiver” don’t really describe what those two did for the Gators, and that’s the point. They’re versatile playmakers who can be threats all across the field, and Meyer is hoping Hines and Rainey can fill those shoes this year.
Those position labels don’t apply to Hines and Rainey either, as both played at different spots last season.
Practices were closed this fall, so no one outside of the locker room really knows how their transitions have gone, but the reviews from teammates have been glowing.
Left guard Carl Johnson called Hines a “modern-day C.I.” in reference to Cornelius Ingram, one of the most freakish players Meyer has had at UF.
Hines will be used like Hernandez, at times playing as a traditional tight end, lining up at his natural position of receiver and handling the most unstoppable play in Florida history: the tight-end shovel pass.
Most of what is said about Hines concerns his size. A chiseled 6-foot, 219-pounder, his physique has earned the nickname “The Greek Goddess.”
“He’s too big for corners and he’s too fast for linebackers,” Johnson said. “He’s that hybrid player. It’s fun to watch him and see those little DBs try to attack someone that big and then see those linebackers try so hard but not come close to catching him.”
Jordan Reed and Trey Burton — two players who came to Florida as quarterbacks — are also playing that position, and Reed looked to be the starter until he was injured, so there could be changes at the spot as the season wears on.
But for now, the job belongs to Hines, and I can’t wait to see what he does with it.
Rainey has to replace an even bigger name at the “Percy Position,” where he’ll get touches out of the backfield and in the passing game.
“He has to give us the home-run shot, and he’s got the ability,” Meyer said. “There’s not really an offense that can function without a home-run hitter, and he’s No. 1 or 2 on our list.”
Rainey hit one out in last year’s season opener. He touched the ball once against Charleston Southern and was standing in the end zone 76 yards later.
There shouldn’t be any doubts about Rainey’s elusiveness (remember that Cincinnati player he hurdled from the 3-yard line for a touchdown in the Sugar Bowl?) but he’ll have to be more consistent now that he’s one of the key playmakers.
We won’t know if he’s ready for that after this weekend, but given running back Emmanuel Moody’s cliché-riddled description, Rainey shouldn’t have much trouble with the RedHawks.
“He’s making plays left and right (in practice),” Moody said. “He’s taking them to the house sometimes, making people miss, making people look foolish and breaking ankles out there. One time he had a play on (linebacker) Jelani Jenkins, and Jelani didn’t even know where he was.
“Once he gets the ball in his hands, it’ll be electric.”
Let’s hope so. If Hines and Rainey don’t provide a jolt, Saturday won’t just be boring, it could be a sign that this season will be more of a box office flop than a blockbuster.
