Not being able to punch women makes me want to punch a woman.
Before you call the cops on me, let me explain. "Mafia 2" was one of the most highly anticipated video games of the last fiscal quarter. It had all the makings of an epic mobster melodrama somewhere between "Scarface" and "The Godfather." (And it was playable, too! Sweet Jesus.)
All 2K Games had to do was improve on the first one a bit, and they'd have a winner.
What they did, however, was not that.
Why does this game suck so much? All I know is I tried to play this travesty of a game and by the end of the first hour, I was contemplating suicide.
"Mafia 2" is an open sandbox game like "Grand Theft Auto." This is supposed to supply the player with a sense of freedom - a way to control your own destiny without being put on a repeat violence/sex offender list. But there are no side missions.
In "Mafia 2," you can buy clothes. And all the real missions are "drive to this warehouse and then drive back." If I wanted to drive all day, I'd deliver pizzas.
Also in this bomb, losing the cops is impossible.
If you shoot someone, somehow those 1940s policemen have GPS tracking devices and transportation machines. So the game tells you to change clothes to lose your wanted level but you can't go into the clothes store with one. And you can't buy new clothes ‘cause you're wanted, so you have to steal them and (naturally) shoot the cashier, which gives you a different kind of wanted level. Then you steal a car and get a third type of wanted level. Then you die, and when you restart you're still wanted by the cops. Then your girlfriend gets mad at you ‘cause you kicked the dog. My final gripe: you can't punch women. I'm not a proponent of this in real life, but it's a video game.
Part of the fun of "Grand Theft Auto" was getting prostitutes and then (naturally) beating them. I mean, our guy is a mobster. Since when are they shining beacons of chivalry?
In conclusion, this game blows harder than Katrina did. I suggest you poop in a box and send 2K Games a stinker of your own.
