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Wednesday, May 15, 2024
Co-starring Richard Stehli as “Sober Steve.”
Co-starring Richard Stehli as “Sober Steve.”

Alcohol is the life-blood of the nightlife in Gainesville, lubricating our conversations and glossing over the things we wish to ignore. My mission was simple but by no means easy: Go out and try to enjoy a full week of what Gainesville has to offer after dark, without having a single drink.

Day 1: Why am I doing this?

My first night out wasn’t particularly fun. I couldn’t help but feel out of place without a drink in my hands, and what would usually be a thoughtful sip on my beer was replaced by a brief but awkward silence.
Interestingly, I found myself swept up in the en masse lowering of inhibitions that happens at Lux between midnight and 2 a.m., but I never reached a place that I would call “comfortable.”

Day 2: Keep on trying.

We started at one of my favorite haunts, but it wasn’t a good choice. It doesn’t matter how many good beers the Alcove has on tap when you can’t drink. Even pool, a sport I sometimes enjoy, wasn’t much better over at the Silver-Q.
I spent some time trying, unsuccessfully, to hit on girls. I needed to find someone sober enough to avoid any ethical dilemmas but still intoxicated enough to think I was funny. The pickings were slim, and I passed the time fruitlessly.
Blame it on the sobriety? No, it’s probably just me.

Day 3: This is my place

Friday’s happenings created a strange bridge between our worlds. My roommate and I met Kat and her friend at the Top and engaged in my favorite drunken activity: Sitting around and talking.
Sobriety, which until this point I had been wearing around my neck like a ball and chain, completely failed to impede my enjoyment of the night. I relaxed in the company of friends. Lips were loosened completely without chemical enhancement. I was stone cold sober, and I was having fun.

Day 4: Go big or go home

On paper, Saturday at Spannk is anything but my element. As a person interested in communication beyond drunken grinding, locations quiet enough for conversation are scarce. But, as I hit the dance floor of the Neon Liger, for reasons I couldn’t possibly explain, I suddenly started having fun.
I started to pick out familiar faces from the crowd and struck up conversations with strangers. It was easy to break the ice and meet new people because drunk or sober, we were all sharing in the everything of the moment, and we all showed up to have fun.

Conclusions!

It may be a sad commentary on the way we live in Gainesville, but sober partying isn’t completely intuitive. It’s a skill that you have to develop, increasing the effectiveness and enjoyment of your interactions as you learn the way of the teetotaler. If you’re tired of marinating your brain in Smirnoff and PBR every weekend, maybe you should try on the mantle of sobriety, and wear it around town. It’s a hard road to tread, but sometimes the wildest nights are the ones most worth remembering.

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