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Tuesday, May 21, 2024

Dear Jared,

When you’re with a girl who is less verbal or audible during sex and it’s not always easy to know when she’s had an orgasm, how are you supposed to know when you’re good to go for yourself without just blatantly asking? Guys, you may know, are much easier to tell when this event has happened.


Waiting For Release

Nothing is more irritating during a headboard-rocking,hitting-her-with-your-best-shots sweat fest than a bedmate who seems like he or she would rather be at the Arby’s down the street.

I mean, a little acknowledgment that you’re not entirely bored while you’re working up a sweat is always appreciated. Then again, no one wants a screamer who insists on yelling for you to say her name or one who thinks loudly labeling you “Daddy” while your roommates are trying to share a bowl of quinoa in the kitchen is appropriate sex etiquette. But a teensy moan of encouragement just gets the groove back in your gyrate.

And yes, honey, thank you for pointing out to me a man’s race to the finish is much more noticeable than a woman’s.

Perhaps you should just give the whole sleeping with a man thing a go, as this would seem to solve all our problems.

But no, I suppose that’s not very realistic.

Also, I applaud you on your chivalry for wanting to please your lady and finish last. We might not wear armor or live in castles, ladies, but at least we want you to finish first. I doubt even Lancelot had that much dedication.

And finishing first, especially if you’re always the only one who’s crossing the climatic finish line, can be a bit awkward as you begin to examine your abilities to help your naked teammate.

I have minimal experience sexing up the less-certain climaxing sex, but the ability and the need to communicate about sex is something both sexes can appreciate.

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Even though guys have a much more noticeable finishing process, communication is still key. Talk about your hoo-hoos and wee-wees. Does she even like the way you lick her feet? Maybe she’s not getting there as fast as you are because she can’t get off unless you smother her with cabbage. Blatantly asking her, which is apparently what you’re afraid to do, might just be the key to what she’s been missing from you.

C’mon, baby, let’s talk about sex.

Have a question for our resident sexpert? Send Jared an e-mail at Your name will not appear in print or online if selected.

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