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Friday, April 19, 2024

I know what you're all expecting. You're expecting a full-force rant founded on one or more of the following positions: "What a BS Hallmark holiday," "Yeah, it's awesome if you're in love, but I'm not, so thanks for reminding me of my solitude, jerk," "Boohoo, NOBODY LOVES ME," "Aw, look at the girl with the bouquet of roses. I'm so HAPPY for her. Not," "That couple staring dreamily into each others' eyes make me want to gouge my own out." You get the idea.

So, this week marked the passing of the holiday lovingly referred to as Valentine's Day. For a time that's supposed to remind people to stop and feel the good vibrations all around, I can't help but notice an ever-increasing backlash against Cupid and his chocolate-dipped arrows. In fact, I'm just going to come right out and say that many of you are downright bitter toward this day of "lurve." I won't pretend that I don't understand the reasons for these opposite reactions, for it takes neither a genius nor a shrink to figure out the core sentiment from where these feelings stem.

Loneliness can be a total pain in the ass, and when a day that screams romance rolls around, you can't help but feel a pang of "go away" run through your mind. The hearts, flowers, boxes of candy, candlelit dinners, bottles of red wine, sentimental cards, bunches of balloons, pink-frosted cookies.

In a way, when you stop and think about this hullabaloo, the entire charade becomes comical.

Yet despite this silliness, even a friendly bag of Hershey's Kisses can turn the most steady temperaments a bit nutty.

My single friends and I used to joke that Valentine's Day was the one day out of the year when the guy(s) you were kind of dating would purposely avoid all contact with you. No one in a casual relationship can handle the weight of the words "Happy Valentine's Day" because think of all of the mixed messages that phrase sends. I kid you not, there was one year I was seeing three guys and none of them called me on Feb. 14. They all dropped me a line the following day, though. If that's not true love, then I don't know what is. Spoiler alert: I no longer talk to any of the previously mentioned male suitors. Shocking, I know.

What cracks me up even more are the vehement retaliations against Valentine's Day. If you're single, it seems that an obligatory statement needs to be made that declares disdain for this day or affirms indifference to the circumstance.

But are those who fall into the lonely hearts club really ready to dismiss Valentine's Day altogether? It's upsetting when surface traditions overpower the real purpose for holidays. Christmas is slapped by the culprit of materialism, Halloween with aphrodisiac dress-up and St. Patty's Day with sweet, sweet beer.

How many of you reading this can honestly say that there is at least one person in your life whom you truly love?

Rather than drowning in sentiments of self-pity, why not get over yourself and use Valentine's Day as a cue to tell your friends, family, postal worker or apartment manager that you dig them? Then raid the clearance chocolate. Russel Stover, you are my truest love.

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