I am a hypocrite. That may be a particularly frustrating admission if you’re the type who enjoys exposing logical inconsistencies or character defects on your own, but I’m compelled to introduce the accusations myself.
In fact, I plead guilty.
I had a hypocrisy problem long before I was privileged to write for the Alligator, and I suppose that will ring true once I’m done. I espouse one ideal and live another. I condemn gossip only to do the same thing. I decry the appalling injustice of the sex trade, but I struggle to stay away from the porn industry, which fuels it both directly and indirectly. I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable. I prefer reality to cute niceties.
As a follower of Jesus, I wish that Christians would stop pretending we are something we are not. It usually comes from a genuine place, but we end up making ourselves into a bunch of stained-glass liars. I’m a cheerleader for my team, but I’m not drinking the Kool-Aid.
Christians can really suck sometimes. Perhaps you’ve noticed it, too.
Churches are often like boxes of holy cereal — filled to the brim with all kinds of flakes and nuts that leave a bad taste in your mouth. There are charlatans and cheaters; dummies and deviants; creepers and crooks; and for some reason, they’ve taken themselves to the church and locked themselves in.
The bad news is that will never change. If you were looking for a convenient reason to dodge Jesus, you can find a few in his ragtag following.
We have issues.
Take heart, though. There is good news in the consistent influx of hypocrisy in the Christian church. You’ll fit in perfectly there.
Yeah, I said it, and you know it’s true.
We’re all hypocrites to some degree, because hypocrisy is a human problem.
I was a hypocrite way before I came to Jesus, and despite some major remodeling, we’re still dealing with some residue. It’s more frustrating for me than for you, but my physical reality is playing catch-up with my spiritual transformation.
Expect hypocrisy in the church because you’ll be adding your particular brand to the pot — regardless of the other flavors present. Jesus set up the church to be a spiritual hospital.
It’s inevitable that someone will projectile vomit on you as he or she is on the way to the master physician — sick people do that.
This is not to say that the church should be some festering cesspool of spiritual sketchitude. Most people’s issues with the church don’t truly stem from hypocrisy but the lack of repentance. For the uninitiated, repentance is a scary theological word that simply means changing direction.
See, this is where stuff gets dicey, because most American Christians haven’t heard the word either. Christians tend to think saying sorry for their sins is the same thing as repentance, but one can head toward the same condemned destination while his or her lips recite accurate directions to a far better place.
I wish followers of Jesus would stop trying to hide their coughs and runny noses, though, as if people couldn’t see that they need the doctor still.
I suppose I’ll just own up to it: I’m guilty. The good news is that someone already paid the penalty for my hypocrisy (spoiler alert: It’s Jesus).
It defies our logic, but God is building his church from the most unlikely materials — I’m not talking bricks and wood. He’s an organic builder of a different sort, and he has this funny way to transmute hypocrites into something far more valuable.
Gold is cheap by comparison.
You may find that hypocrisy is in you, as well. If so, you’re in good company.
My name is Ryan. Welcome to church.
Ryan Galloway is a religion senior at UF. His column runs on Wednesdays. You can contact him via opinions@alligator.org.
