Attention college slackers, of which there are many: There is now a bona fide guide on how to live your life to the least potential.
“The Slacker’s Guide to Undergrad,” written by a “Wise Former Undergrad,” features tips on how to get by on minimal effort during college, so you can focus on creating memories with friends and then lose them immediately afterward in a drunken haze.
I got the booklet’s author, Robert Berry, of Clear Lake, Iowa, on the phone to talk about his reasons behind writing a guide for all of the less knowledgeable but equally lazy students out there.
Berry, a graduate of Creighton University, said he wanted to start a business and thought writing a book would be a great idea.
The pamphlet, sold on Amazon and Barnes & Noble, tells about Berry’s experiences in college and the tricks he used to live out every slacker’s dream of sleeping in the back of class and still passing.
If you are a lazy person, and this is all starting to sound good, let me stop you here. Though it appears Berry does actually have the credentials of a pro slacker, those qualities shine true in this typo-ridden testament to the academic conundrum that is the slacker. Sure, he graduated.
But should you really be taking career advice from someone who is currently unemployed?
I might be a harsh judge of writing, but anyone who uses common idioms and then misspells them (see: “low and behold”) should probably refrain from publishing and trying to sell a book.
In reality, any slacker that has made it into a decent four-year university probably already knows the tricks of the trade – at least any slacker worth his or her salt.
Berry’s advice of looking at lecture PowerPoints and checking for easy professors on RateMyProfessors.com are fundamental pieces of information just about any student can tell you, and it’s certainly nothing you should pay $2.99 to find out about.
The pamphlet’s final farewell should be all the indication a prospective reader needs to realize Berry’s masterpiece of two months’ work is likely an idea he cooked up while entertaining the thought, “How do I get other lazy people to pay me money?”
“So in summary I’m glad you have read this book, now go put these principles to use and then with your extra free time grab a beer and with your buddies cheer to the wise former undergrad whose advice you now keep near.”
A version of this story ran on page 7 on 11/21/2013 under the headline "Pro slacker writes guide, forgets commas"
