Swamp of Love: Say what you mean, mean what you say

So...

“What are we doing? Where is this going?”

If you’ve seen the movie starring Zac Efron and Imogen Poots, you already know where this post is going. If not, it’s pretty simple: We, as a society, need to work on communicating our feelings and expectations in a relationship. And by relationship I don’t just mean boyfriend/girlfriend, but any type of romantic relationship between two people. How many times have you asked a friend how the ladies have been, only to be told he’s been “hanging out” with this one chick? Or ladies, how many of you are “talking” to that guy from class? What do these statements even mean? I mean, I talk to my co-workers every day, and I hang out with whoever’s at the pool when I’m not working. Am I supposed to think there’s anything more to those relationships? 

Keepin’ it real

So you’ve met someone gorgeous, and you’re interested in being more than just friends. Would you ask this girl to go “hang out” one night? What is she supposed to think about that? Friends hang out. Lovers don’t. I’ve been taught that when it comes to matters of the heart, you have to say what you mean and mean what you say. Ask someone out on a date- then take them on one. Let them know early on, you’re interested in more than a platonic relationship- you don’t have to sound lame saying it, just keep it real and tell the truth. You’ll save time if feelings aren’t reciprocated, awkwardness with introductions and stress over wondering what you’re doing with someone else and if it crosses a boundary that may or may not exist.

I don’t want a committed relationship

While some of you may think this communication only helps for boyfriend and girlfriend relationships, it actually makes the dating and casual friends with benefits relationships simpler. If I tell a girl upfront that I’m interested in getting to know her, but currently do not have interest in a committed relationship, I’m being honest. I would even let her know that I could be dating other girls too- I’m young and I’m trying to get to know people and have a good time doing it. But, if I take a new girl out on a date and these topics never come up- or even worse, after a couple dates- and she sees me out on the town with someone else? Feelings will be hurt. Betrayal and mistrust can pop up. All this negativity that could easily be avoided is something you will not want to deal with, and you may even lose relationships over it