Your body has an annoying amount of cortisol running through it. Your neighbors (a loose term used for anyone who lives in a mile radius of you) have been setting off fireworks at random times in the night for what seems like days. The stress hormone is taking its toll. Your fuse is getting shorter as more fireworks lose theirs. It’s been almost a week since the Fourth, so you decide to use the freedom your forefathers fought for and give these pyrotechnic enthusiasts a piece of your mind. You walk out the door and look up to see the fireworks spell something out. It says…
Darts & Laurels
After receiving backlash from telling a parent the Holocaust was not a “factual, historical event,” a Boca Raton highschool principal has been reassigned. A parent asked Spanish River Community High School’s former principal William Latson about Holocaust education at the high school. His response was he could not force Holocaust awareness on students as “we all have the same rights but not all the same beliefs.” A dart goes to this former principal. He tried to be so neutral it led him to denying the importance of Holocaust education in a time where anti-Semitism is on the rise and in a high school with a large Jewish student body.
The U.S. women’s national soccer team won against the Netherlands 2-0 in the 2019 World Cup final. A laurel goes to the team, as this is its back-to-back win and fourth world title. The team will return home to talks of settlement with the U.S. Soccer Federation for its pay to be the same as the men’s national team. In March, 28 team members filed a gender discrimination lawsuit. At the finale on Sunday, the crowd made its presence and stance known by booing and chanting “equal pay” at FIFA chief Gianni Infantino.
Multimillionaire Jeff Epstein was arrested on sex trafficking charges on Monday. A dart goes to the 66-year-old as federal prosecutors charged him with running a sex trafficking ring where he allegedly sexally abused dozens of underage girls according to CNN. For some, these federal charges are long awaited. In 2008, he struck a deal with federal prosecutors in Miami. Epstein served 13 months in prison, registered as a sex offender and paid restitution to victims. He did not face federal charges according to his deal. A laurel goes to the Miami Herald’s Julie K. Browningwhose investigation on Epstein last year brought attention to this scandal and how it was dealt with.
On Saturday, Disney star Cameron Boyce died after a seizure in his sleep. He was 20. He acted in the Disney Original movie “Descendants” and the Disney Channel television show “Jessie.” He was involved in philanthropic projects such as the Thirst Project, a non-profit that works to bring safe drinking water to communities. Fans and fellow actors who worked with him took to social media to post condolences. We are giving a laurel to Boyce in honor of his memory.
A dart goes out to any of the twisted sadists who felt the need to open a carton of ice cream in the middle of the store, lick the top of it… and put it back in the fridge. This gross trend started from a video where a teenage girl licked the top of a Tin Road Blue Bell Ice Cream carton, which hurts us emotionally because the delicious flavor deserves so much better than this notoriety. Other copycats have popped up as well. Buying a carton of ice cream is guilt-inducing enough (the calories, the sugar, the dairy). Now, it’s just plain scary. Keep your grimy clout-chasing paws off our sweet frozen cream. Please.
Fifteen-year-old Cori “Coco” Gauff’s first Wimbledon ended on Monday when she lost to Simona Halep. We’re giving a laurel to the teenager not only for her impressive run, but for the thrilling manner in which she got there. Gauff faced two second-set match points to 28-year-old Slovenian Polona Hercog in the tournament’s third round on Friday, but the Delray Beach, Florida, native roared back. Gauff erased a 5-2 deficit in the set then completed the comeback with second- and third-set victories. Bravo, Coco.
The Alligator Editorial Board includes the Opinions Editor Jackie De Frietas, Editor-in-Chief Mark Stine and managing editors Hannah Beatty and Lindsey Breneman.