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Monday, October 25, 2021

The weather is still unbearable. You feel a gentle breeze here and there, but Mother Nature lied about the fall season — or at least we did something to mess it up. Either way, it’s hot, you’re sweaty and the walk from the Reitz Union to Library West isn’t making things easier. 

Once you make it to Marston Library, you could escape from the heat. The harsh sunlight is blocked by the tall buildings, and you feel the familiar comfort of the French Fries looming over you. You’ve made it this far, you can make it the rest of the way. 

But alas, you forgot you had to pass through Turlington Plaza and it’s noon — during election season. Dun dun dun!

Breathing heavy, you finally build up enough courage to plow through the crowd.

You’ve practiced enough “no thank you’s” and “I’m not interested” to consider yourself a pro. Head down. Headphones in. Speed walk. 

Right as you’re about to escape the last overly-eager freshman, someone stops you in your tracks. Before you get the chance to swat them away, they shove a paper in your face. 

But it wasn’t a campaign flier. It was…

Darts and Laurels

It’s sad to say this, but the first dart has to go to the New York Times for indirectly (his name was not stated) identifying a whistleblower. A CIA agent was responsible for uncovering that Trump was trying to get foreign aid to help him get re-elected, and worse of all, the fact that the White House was trying to cover it up. This of course, is a highly dangerous thing to do, seeing that Trump recently mentioned how he would like to treat the whistleblower.

The lead lawyer for the CIA agent clearly said it would be dangerous for any information regarding the whistleblower’s identity to be released — and of course the New York Times released it anyway. 

At least now people upset with the Times can enjoy a discount at the Washington Post. 

Meanwhile, something good is finally happening to the Amazon... the company, at least. We’re giving it a laurel for planning on integrating Samuel L. Jackson’s voice into Alexa. In fact, you might see it on here again if he says some good quotes. Who needs Netflix when you can have Alexa recite Pulp Fiction, at least the important parts anyway. 

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This may come as a surprise, but McDonald’s is getting a laurel this week. The company recently introduced plant based burgers to its menu, and although the rest of their items mostly consists of unhealthy and environmentally unconscious food, it’s nice to see that they’re at least trying. Keep in mind that it’s still a fast food company, so you might not get the greatest quality burger. But at least they’re trying, right?

On the other hand, the fact that the Juul CEO is being replaced by an executive from a tobacco company is not a surprise at all. It’s being taken over by a cigarette giant that apparently already owns 35 percent of the company. A dart goes to Juul for killing our lungs and then hiring someone who can do it even better. 

The final laurel goes to Jonathan Van Ness for his bravery. He recently told the public that he has been living with HIV for several years now. It’s a harsh stigma that plagues the LGBTQ+ community (especially gay men), even today. He deserves to be recognized for breaking through it.  

The Editorial Board consists of Zora Viel, Opinions Editor; Amanda Rosa, Editor-in Chief; Kelly Hayes, Digital Managing Editor; and Tranelle Maner, Engagement Managing Editor.

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